Bath-salt zombies are SO two years ago…

A drug called Krokodil has started surfacing here in the states.

Created in Russia, Krokodil has claimed approximately 30,000 lives since the early 2000s when the drug began hitting the street. Krokodil costs about a third the price of heroin, is extremely easy to make and has an extremely intense high that belts you almost immediately.

Big deal. It’s another new way to get high, right? What’s so weird about that?

The horrifying effect the drug has on your precious little living body.

You basically become a ‘walker’. ‘Walker’ as in Walking Dead ‘walker’. As in pieces of that precious little living body aren’t so living and begin decaying…from the inside out!

That’s right. At first Krokodil causes blood vessels to break which causes the skin to turn dark green which then becomes dark and scaly…like a…wait for it….crocodile! After the scaly skin and bursting blood vessels, the drug begins rotting you internally. Currently Krokodil has become Russia’s go-to drug because of it’s low cost and minimal, already-in-your-kitchen ingredients.

Now the stuff has turned up in Arizona and New Mexico along with several recent incidents in Illinois.

Just when you thought bath-salt zombies would be the last word in the whole zombie apocalypse scenario.

[CNN’s YouTube]

Fans of The Walking Dead know that if you cover yourself in the leftovers of friends, neighbors and family, zombies will just stroll right on by you…until it begins to rain and things go to hell real fast.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if someone would just come up with a scented…oh wait…it’s happened..

Demeter Fragrances has added two new perfumes to their line-up:

‘Zombie for Him’ and ‘Zombie for Her’.

Now there’s no need to don protective wear and hack away for hours when only a butter knife is available in order to smother yourself with the innards of a hapless stranger…or a not quite zombie-apocalypse-prepped friend.

‘Zombie for Him’ is described thusly:

Think forest floor. Zombie for Him is a combination of dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss and earth. A definite must-have for any Man’s scent collection.

‘Zombie for Her’ is:

A slightly lighter version of the Men’s fragrance with a touch of Dregs from the bottom of the wine barrel for that feminine touch.

Now you can protect anyone in an instant by just spritzing them and blending in socially amongst the walking dead…

Until it suddenly rains again.

[DesignTaxi]

Everyone say thank you to those crazy Mayans. Not only did they give us reason to create some truly spectacular parties where hangovers and regret would never even have a chance to hit us but those forward-thinking ancient-folk are also helping build small businesses like this one in Fayetteville, New York.

‘Survival: Adventure to Apocalypse’ is a real store catering to everyone’s favorite Mayan holiday…Armageddon. Owner and lady with a name that should heave her into a television-action series soon, Calypso Ford has stocked her new business venture with everything from boots for your pets to waterproof notepads as the impending, and probably disappointing, end of the world draws to its conclusion.

Ford’s store won’t carry guns or ammunition but it will carry items that would help people during something like a natural disaster. Survival: Adventure to Apocalypse will be open 7 days a week leading up the big day.

We’re going to be the first in line on the 22nd for the big half-off sale.

[CNYCentral News]

One young lady gets skeeved on, another gets a mouth full of metal without the pain of braces. One brother has his past failures haunt him, another just gets haunted by his brother. We introduce a new black character just as another one dies. Lighting crashes.

The Governor gets an eyeful of his future, gates are stormed and we have an underwhelming cliffhanger. All of it is chopped up in this week’s breakdown AFTER THE JUMP… (more…)

Michonne and Merle get all Hunger Games, but who is Katniss and who is the weird wolf monsters from the end? Andrea continues to have the absolute worst taste in men… or does she. And Rick is on the edge of the madness.

The edge! The edge! The edge!

The return of the Walking Dissection happens just after the jump. (more…)

Leadership is a strange concept.

There are elements of leadership we admire and those we apologize for. At best, an effective leader needs to achieve the goals of his community, make tough decisions when they need to be made and advance the cause. The identification and execution of the methods are up to them.

We’ve slowly seen the toll leadership has taken on Rick. He’s become a shoot first murderer multiple times and felt less and less remorse after each incident. Was he right? We think so, or at least we hope so.

So when it comes to The Governor, the major villain of this series, it’s very important that we understand, and sympathize, with his motivations. His actions can remain diabolical, but his sense of duty must remain pure.

He’s the effective leader you apologize for.

Head into Woodbury AFTER THE JUMP… (more…)

The overarching story of The Walking Dead in any form or function in the loss of humanity amongst the living while the dead roam the Earth. In the same way that Battlestar Galactica could be set on a submarine and still be awesome, TWD could be about a global political uprising or a world where all the electricity stopped running. Okay, maybe not the second one.

At it’s best, we watch the characters evolve and measure ourselves against their actions. If they succeed, we find redemption in even their darkest moments. At the very least, we understand why they would do something even if we never would.

This episode was one where we continue to understand how this experience has taken a toll on our survivors. After a long Winter, the seeds sown have born strange fruit.

Read more AFTER THE JUMP… (more…)

Imagine you have an alcoholic uncle. He and your dad were always close and even though he’d embarrass himself sometimes it was always funny and never tragic. But over the last few years things got worse. He borrowed money, burned through friendships, marriages and familial trust.

Then one February he really screws up. Wrecks a car. Loses his job. Needs to borrow even more money. Finally, dad has enough. He’s still his brother, but the trust isn’t there. More specifically, the faith that he could ever pull out of his tailspin finally vanishes.

That Thanksgiving, he shows up. Everyone sits down and as your mother offers a glass of wine to everyone he makes a show of asking for water. In conversation he makes sure to mention that he’s been sober for the last five months. After dinner, he gives your dad a check. Not for everything, but something. He promises there is more where that came from.

Is he a different man? Who knows. But in this moment, he’s doing everything you’d ask of him. Even if it proves fleeing, he’s changed.

Two things are for sure. One, I really enjoyed the Walking Dead season three premiere. Two, this metaphor is too long.

Much more AFTER THE JUMP (more…)

This is the PRO half of PRO/CON pair of columns talking about expectations for the upcoming season of The Walking Dead beginning tonight at 9 p.m. on AMC. Unless you are on Dish Network. In that case you’re screwed.

It has to be better.

There is to much going for it. Too many brilliant ideas. Too much drama.

The Walking Dead finally gets out of the woods tonight. Not only because our characters are finally off that God forsaken farm where all character consistency and plot momentum went to die but because of where they are headed.

Without getting too specific into spoilers, the source material of the first two season has its moments but is comparatively light compared to the books that inspire this season.

Drama is created from and by inspired and interesting concepts and conflicts. Specifically dealt with this season are the follow: the price paid for security, the damage this disease has done to our culture, who we define as a threat and our first glimpse at “normalcy” are themes dealt with in delightful depth.

Compare that to the second season when the major overriding theme appeared to be “are we alive” and “who’s making a stink face”. The source material for those seasons, although different where by and large chase and regroup stories without much beyond the overarching survival themes of the series.

Specifically, The Governor is too good of a character to not get SOMETHING compelling from. I really enjoyed the casting of Phillip Blake and what we’ve seen of the character so far. He has the face of a man you can trust. The kind of man who would take the any loss from his flock very personally.

They’re also returning Season 1’s Michael Rooker as Merle Dixon. Scenes find it very difficult to be boring when you add a coked up racist with a vendetta to the mix. Not to mention what that means for his brother Daryl, who’s found a life for himself as a leader amongst our survivors.

When you add up the potential, it seems impossible to say this season can’t be more entertaining than the last.

And maybe, with a little luck, it’s really special. The ingredients are there, and no matter what my apprehensions I’m eagerly awaiting digging in.

This is the CON half of PRO/CON pair of columns talking about expectations for the upcoming season of The Walking Dead beginning tonight at 9 p.m. on AMC. Unless you are on Dish Network. In that case you’re screwed.

The Walking Dead is big on the metaphorical zombie.

People can be worse than the ghouls roaming the Georgia highways. Friends can lose their humanity. Loved ones can crumble in a moment of weakness and be more dangerous than whatever viral menace mangled the world.

Appropriate to the subject matter of the show, my love for AMC’s biggest hit also underwent a transformation. See, I started writing recaps for TWD because I loved the first season. Loved it. Not only was it enjoyable, but for those who enjoy the horror half of “genre” popular art it was important.

It had the capability to do for horror what Battlestar Galactica did for science fiction. Maybe it would never snag the Emmy hardware but it could perennially stay in the mouths of critics enough to demonstrate what well-told, violent, smart suspense is not something to be ashamed of.

Unlike BSG, Dead has a massive audience. The finale for season two brought in a gargantuan 4.7 ratings, making it the most watched scripted program on cable. In comparison, Battlestar’s superb second season finale Lay Down Your Burdens II brought in a 1.9 share.

I wanted to write about a show I loved.

I wrote about a show that frustrated me on a weekly basis.

My love morphed into a bitter screed ambling across your browser every Monday morning. It’s not how I wanted it. This was supposed to be a celebration, instead I was a “walker” wearing a party hat.

So why write about it again this season?

After all, the undeniable creative influence of Frank Darabount is still missing. And even if you have faith in new honcho Glenn Mazzara, who is to say that the network forces that nickle’d and dime’d the old boss out the door won’t hamper the new ones?

Also, does anyone who had to suffer through a month and a half of looking for Sophia really going to get super excited that the Walking Dead will have even MORE episodes (16, up from 13) in the upcoming season? Who’s ready for three hours worth of Rick trying to find his keys?

Even the exciting, new characters are booby-trapped by expectations.

Michonne has a fairly simple character arc in the comics, well suited for the medium. Will that hold up on this show? How differently will she act.

Meanwhile, has there been a character on modern television more ripe for “BUT IN THE COMICS?!?!!?” fan griping than The Governor? He can’t be a mustache twirling villain, he needs to have his heartbreaking motivation, he needs to be charming, he needs to believe that sexual assault is on the table when discussing torture options.

With the signature storyline of the series now at hand, this is a make or break season for TWD critically. I’d love to say that the evidence suggests you be exited to for it.

I’d love that.

A season comes to a close with the cast a little lighter, many bullets fired and a few lessons learned.

This might not be a democracy but it is the final Dissection of the year so you might as well click through a read it.

(more…)

There has been a lot to criticize about this season. A lot.

But one thing that’s been beyond reproach for The Walking Dead. They know how to reach a destination, no matter how convoluted the path there might be. Sunday’s episode marked one key thematic shift in the series which to this point had been sorely lacking, events had real consequences and changed the dynamics of the characters.

Finger cuffed by death, let’s talk about the most satisfying episode of The Walking Dead… (more…)

An episode of long deliberations and a shocking conclusion.

We debate the shocking end of this week’s Walking Dead AFTER THE JUMP… (more…)

There is a flaw with AMC’s The Walking Dead. It’s an unfortunate one.

Consistency.

With a lot of shows, this isn’t all that important. Comedy, episodic drama or stories that take regular time jumps of weeks or months between installments (a la Mad Men) can sometimes stretch things.

Characters don’t have to carry every little wound with them.

The problem with The Walking Dead is that it’s central theme is about a new, suffocating reality that all of our characters have to adjust to. The sum total of their changes matters. Consistence in the action and decisions of each character create human decisions we either agree or disagree with.

This is how we decide to root for or agains the characters.

What’s disappointing is that even in an episode that is supposed to bring back into play decisions certain characters have made in the past, it rings hollow. They’ve changed their minds so many times, why should we think that this time it holds any weight?

Full review AFTER THE JUMP… (more…)

David Morrissey will play The Governor in The Walking Dead’s third season. Doctor Who fans will recognize him as the confused Victorian era faux-ctor from the 2008 Christmas special The Next Doctor.

Although certainly memorable, we didn’t see many of the beats one might assume would be worked into TWD’s chief baddie.

Let’s roll a clip!

Why is this a big deal?

In the source material, The Governor represents the high point for quality in the series. Without spoilers, the character is brutal (like Uday Hussein brutal) while showing a troubling knack for keeping his citizens safe and happy. As his name implies, there is a strong commentary on governments in crisis and the myth of the benevolent dictator.

These are themes that elevated TWD from a story about zombie survivors into something you tell your friends about. The Governor has been a character ripe with fan speculation fodder since the original AMC pilot. Even more so when original character Merle Dixon chopped off his own limb (The Gov only has one arm) and ran away.

It’s a meaty role. Or at least it could be one if written correctly.

I’ve written a bit about how much I’ve enjoyed the series as it has strayed from the roots of the comic. Where as I thought it was a great idea to keep Shane alive longer to milk his dramatic tension possibilities, The Governor is a character so strongly written he could be played closer to his original incarnation.

As for Morrissey? Who knows.

He is not an fan-pander (Fander? Can that be a word?) stunt cast like Tom Savini. Then again, he’s also not an immediate home run like John Hawkes.

I hope Morrissey does the character justice and more specifically, I hope the show is on a tear by the time it’s most compelling character welcomes our survivors into Woodbury.