Golems, zombies and familiars – three cultures worth of mystical servants rendered, willingly or by force, from the wilds of nature and the bare, lumbering essence of humanity. This Monday, Wednesday and Friday – His Master’s Voice.

Today: Golems

A standby of early Jewish legend, Golems – humanoid beings shaped from clay and imbued with a mystical life force – were said to serve holy men, and could be used protect the Jewish people during times of conflict and social unrest. The most famous golem tale is set during a rash of anti-Semitic riots in Prague, where a racist priest incited his followers to storm the Jewish ghettos. In response, Judah Loew ben Bezalel, a powerful Rabbi, summoned a golem and commanded it to defend his people and assist in rebuilding their ruined homes. The golem was so devoted to his protective mission that he began violently attacking Catholic inciters, forcing Bezalel to return him to an inanimate state.

According to golem aficionados, a regular human can only shape the Earth into a figure of a man; a practiced, fervent Rabbi can, through a sacred ritual – usually a Hebrew inscription etched into the creature’s head or onto a scrap of parchment pressed into the golem’s body – give the figure life as a conscripted servant of God; God, and only God, can provide a soul, thus converting the being from an earthen grunt into a free-thinking man. Scripture actually portrays Adam as the first golem, a status he retained for only the briefest 12 hours between his construction and his ensoulment.

Not all golem lore is all half-guilty persecutor-maiming victory and triumph–even in the 1600s, many Jewish scholars felt that the ability to divinely summon life was a power that only God should possess. As these authors transcribed their interpretations of Jewish legends, classic golem stories became less about triumphant brandishing of sacred energy and more about the steep price that comes with divine dabbling, a narrative that Mary Shelly echoed in response to the foolhardy bravura of intermittently resurrection-obsessed Romantic Age science. It’s these tales of well-meaning hubris run amok that German filmmaker Paul Wegener embraced in his golem trilogy, the last of which, 1920’s “The Golem: How He Came into the World” immortalized the image of Bezalel’s creature setting fire to the ghetto and laying waste to Prague’s already-suffering Jewish community.

Wednesday – Zombies

Weird Things Culture Researcher Matt Finaly takes a weekly look into the social, political and cultural climates of a populace at the time it was affected by a legendary paranormal, extraterrestrial or cryptid phenomenon. It appears on Tuesdays…

In 1837, something dark and quick began hunting women on the streets of London, pouncing upon them from the shadows and going to work on their clothes with razor talons and flaming breath, only to disappear seconds later, leaping silently over impossibly high hedges and rooftops, leaving behind only the shrill, hollow ghost of maniacal laughter and, of course, a panicked victim.

Descriptions of Spring Heeled Jack varied over the 65 years that he laid siege to London’s gas lit back alleys and dark urban bowers, but early witnesses (somewhat) consistently agree that he sported large pointed ears, an equally pointy nose, bulging eyes, sharp claws, the ability to breathe fire and a penchant for agile escapes via inhumanly powerful jumps (hence his media-coined moniker).

John Thomas Haines’ 1840 play, Spring-Heeled Jack, the Terror of London, marked the first official appearance of Jack in a popular entertainment (he had already become a staple of various Punch and Judy street puppet shows), which was followed by a rash of both sightings and corresponding sensationalized fictionalizations throughout the 1840s and ‘50s. In the name of both topicality and word economy, however, we aim to focus on the years prior to Jack’s assimilation into the everyday pop cultural dialogue of Victorian England.

Accepting, as many experts do, that the initial attacks between 1837 and 1838 were perpetrated by a still-anonymous (though one Henry de La Poer Beresford, dubbed “The Mad Marquess,” is a prime suspect) malicious, costumed prankster, and noting that the perpetrator’s image and misdeeds became the stuff of pop culture legend, the question must be posed: What overriding cultural factors contributed the specific physical attributes that the misogynistic hoaxer built into his monster? In short, why was a quick-footed, fire-breathing demon the obvious avatar for blind dread and mass hysteria in 19th century London?

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During the course of this holiday weekend packed with alcohol, fire works and alcohol it’s likely you worried about your mortality. Well take heart in the tale of James Leininger, a young boy whose family claims he is the reincarnated soul of a World War II fighter pilot.

Leininger first began spooking his parents with a preternatural understanding of antique military aircraft, followed by gory crayon drawings of aerial battles with Japanese airplanes which gave way to horrific night terrors involving a violent, suffocating death inside a cockpit. Little Jimmy’s parents eventually narrowed down which soldier’s soul was trapped inside their son after the boy mentioned a specific aircraft carrier he was stationed on.

They’ve since “confirmed” their findings with the pilot’s family and war buddies.

Also, you can read about this experience in their NEW BOOK Soul Survivor AVAILABLE NOW at all your finer literary retailers.

Thanks to Weird Things reader John Houdi for the tip on this story.

You thought the Catholic Church was done persecuting witches. Well, they are at it again, this time in Stockport, UK.

High Priestess Amethyst Selmeselene (also known as Sandra Davis, grandmother of 11) attempted to rent out “Our Lady’s Social Club” for her group’s annual Witch’s Ball. When she went to pay for the venue she had secured, she was turned away and told that the Roman Catholic Church, which owns the facility, had blocked her from renting the center.

Her goal was to attract a crowd of people to do obscene and ungodly things like have a buffet dinner and dance to an ABBA tribute band.
Though we can fault High Priestess Selmeselene for her taste in music, we can’t fault her for wanting to get down and have a good time with her women’s group.

The Roman Catholic Diocese of Shewsbury told Ananova News that “Parish centers under our auspices let their premises on the understanding users and their organisations are compatible with the ethos and teachings of the Catholic church.” And apparently that means a no go for pagan partying.

When will the Catholics leave those poor witches alone? When will they finally be free to dance to bad eighties music while talking shop around a bubbling cauldron? I guess the Church decided that if they can’t burn them, they should at least be able to ban them from their rec. center.

photo credit: ?Lady M?

Santa Maria Stella Maris church in Fiumicino, Italy has decided to stop offering holy water for members of the public to bless with, amid fears that the water may be being stolen for satanic purposes. Walter Palombi, Parish Priest told Italian Newspapers that:

“We have motives to believe that these are used for a ‘black mass’ (satanic mass). Usually the person who carries out these practices needs items that are ‘blessed’ as well as holy water.”

So no more holy water for the faithful Italians of Fiumicino. Satanic ritual scares became popular in Italy during the 1980’s and 90’s, more recently in 2004, fears of satanic ritual cults have sprung up again.

Vyacheslav Agapov and Konstantin Chiliskin were unsuccessful, amateur treasure hunters from the Kaluga Region of Russia, who were searching for buried coins with a metal detector in Velino Village. Behind the long standing Velino Church, built in 1772, they struck pay day, or more accurately a jewel studded pot that contained religious icons. On the side of the pot was an engraving that read: ““Property of Velino Church”.

Both men immediately felt uneasy about the previous owner of their big find. After all, ancient Russian armies are one thing, god is in a league unto his own. But Apapov and Chiliskin did not let their apprehensions stop them from calling a friend named Roman, who immediately contacted antique dealer who offered the treasure hunters $20,000 for everything they had, no questions asked.

Moments went by as Roman, Agapov and Chiliskin tried to decide what to do with their loot, then apparently god stepped in to assist in their decision making process. Roman reported hearing a mysterious voice and feeling someone hit him on the back of the shoulder repeatedly. After this incident, the group decided it might be best to return the religious relics to the church.

You’ve all heard of the infamous case of the Virgin Mary Toast, but what happens when a holy image is seared into the cooking surface instead of the food? According to The Associated Press:

“The hottest thing on the griddle at the Las Palmas restaurant these days isn’t the food. It’s the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that a cook says she saw in the griddle. Restaurant manager Brenda Martinez said more than a hundred people have flocked to the small town of Calexico on the California-Mexico border to gaze at the image since it was discovered as the griddle was being cleaned.”

There have been no photo released as of yet, because the griddle in question has been “enshrined” in a storage closet for the time being. But if you need corroboration, a Mexican Wrestler, known as Mr. Tempest, stopped by the restaurant with a group of other Luchadors on his way to a bout, and called the griddle a miracle. So to give you an idea of what we’re talking about here, on the right is the Virgin Mary Toast that sold for $28,000 on eBay. We hope this incident gets just as many spoofs as the toast, but images on a griddle seem a little harder to replicate than images on a piece of bread.

I know, I know, we thought it was weird for the Pope to be in Australia as well. Wait a minute, that’s no Pope. That’s no Pope at all. That’s just a wily man protesting the Pope’s visit during World Youth Day. Charges were dropped earlier this week against Ian Bryce, the perpetrator of the hoax, who took to the streets of Sydney in his makeshift Pope Mobile to protest the Pontiff’s arrival. He had been formally charged with distracting motorists on the day of his protest, so we’re sure that all of you out there who were rooting for Ian will be most pleased to hear the court’s decision.

Mr. Barnabas Kazibwe Mutume: Purported Faith Healer
Image Credit: MICHAEL J. SSALI

You’d think the Catholic Church would be more supportive of its faith healing clergy members. A couple of days ago, Bishop John Baptist Kaggwa of Masaka, Uganda, suspended local Sacristan Mr. Barnabas Kazibwe Mutume from his priestly duties. Why? Because of his purported ability to heal the sick and downtrodden with prayer. News of Mutume’s miraculous healing powers has spread by word of mouth, causing those in need of medical attention to try out spiritual healing in desperation. And thousands of all denominations have flocked to his makeshift church to be healed.

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Pilgrims have been flocking to the small, Central Mexican town Muñoz de Domingo Arenas to witness a reported miracle at a burger shack. But are the fries really just that good, or is there an apparition of Jesus reflected in the glass window of the building? You guessed it, it’s the latter. We think the below quote from the Latin American Herald sums it up nicely:

“The image can only be seen at night because it is produced by the reflection cast by a lamp of a post and the shadow of a tree, said the daily Reforma, which published a photo of the place with the image and the pilgrims in front of it… Meanwhile, hamburgers and hot-dog sales have boomed thanks to the faithful flocking in.”

It makes good sense from a practical viewpoint to have a miracle at a burger joint. If you want your spiritual and stomach needed sated in one go, but don’t have the time or money to go see Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, then Muñoz de Domingo Arenas is the place for you.

photo credit: Pacific Yooper

Clergy from the Vatican are investigating the case of a purported miracle in Ohio. Jory Aebly was shot in the head at point blank range during a robbery in Cleveland. The doctors called it a “non-survivable injury”. But Aebly somehow survived. What was his miraculous recovery attributed to?

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photo credit: klbw

Do you feel you should pray more, but don’t have enough time to devote to traditional prayer? Some innovative entrepreneurs at informationageprayer.com may be able to help you out. They have created a web service that will pray for you for a nominal fee:

Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing a computer with text-to-speech capability to incant your prayers each day. It gives you the satisfaction of knowing that your prayers will always be said even if you wake up late, or forget.

We use state of the art text to speech synthesizers to voice each prayer at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen.

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Polls suggest that 95 percent of the population of the United States believe they will survive their own death. I can’t help wondering how many people who claim such belief really, in their heart of hearts, hold it. If they were truly sincere, shouldn’t they all behave like the Abbot of Ampleforth? When Cardinal Basil Hume told him that he was dying, the abbot was delighted for him: ‘Congratulations! That’s brilliant news. I wish I was coming with you.’ The abbot, it seems, really was a sincere believer. But it is precisely because it is so rare and unexpected that his story catches out attention….wouldn’t you expect that religious people would be the least likely to cling unbecomingly to earthly life?

-From “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins

A study published last week in The Journal of the American Medical Association might shed some light on Dawkins’ question. The Study is called ‘Religious Coping and Use of Intensive Life-Prolonging Care Near Death in Patients With Advanced Cancer’. Researchers interviewed hundreds of patients with advanced stages of cancer at Hospitals and Cancer Centers around the US. The results are quite interesting. According to a livescience article about the study:

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You’ve heard of extraterrestrials, you’ve heard of angels, now comes….wait for it….Extraterrestrial Angels. The UFOlogists over at alienresistance.org argue the biblical evidence for aliens and explore the crossover between alien encounters and angelic visitations.

For example, aliens abduct people and according to the site:

The Bible teaches that certain angelic beings routinely abducted human women during the days of Noah, both before the great flood “…and also afterward…” (Genesis 6:1-4).

Coincidence? You decide.