Archive for the ‘Cemetery’ Category

Son Takes Dad Home – From the Cemetery!

Monday, January 21st, 2013

Clarence Bright passed away at 93 years of age and his corpse was being prepped for burial in his final resting place.

Key word in that last sentence? ‘Was’.

Just hours before being buried, the body of Clarence Bright went missing. After receiving tips from family members, authorities began searching for Clarence’s son, Vincent. Almost immediately their search turned up a van containing a casket but still no Clarence.

When authorities finally arrived at Vincent’s home, they also found out where Clarence had seemingly sauntered off to.

Vincent, who, according to his family, had extreme religious views, had taken his good ol’ Dad home, in a cliche’ rookie move put him in the freezer in the basement and was going to bring him back to life.

Authorities shook their heads, arrested him, plucked his dad-sicle from the freezer and slapped a $75,000 bond on him.

Wayne County Jail arraigned Vincent via video.

In an understatement to the media, Vincent Bright’s lawyer, Gerald Karafa said:

“It’s an unusual case. It’s not something you see every day.”

Obviously Gerald the lawyer isn’t a regular reader of WeirdThings.

[Associated Press]

Keep Your Loved One’s Ashes – In The Most Disturbing Way Ever!

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

Because death and urns with your loved one’s ashes aren’t surrounded by enough creepy stories, a fun company called Cremation Solutions has decided to knock the creep factor over the wall. How?

By using a 3D printer to create an amazingly creepy look-alike head of your loved one that contains said loved ones ashes.

No…really…This isn’t a fun, faux site put up as a joke. This is legit, kids. You can now sit home and stare lovingly at the lifeless eyes of a remains-stuffed replica head of your loved one. These things make great conversation pieces too!

Guest: “That’s interesting. Are you into cosmetology?”

You: “No. That’s my ex-wife.”

Fun, right?

Before you get excited and click that Paypal button, there are some things to consider. The head doesn’t come with hair. It can either be added digitally (we’re not really sure what that means…but we’re guessing it’ll end up a lot like putting hair on those little Lego figures) or you can purchase a wig. We’re also not sure about the following line:

The full sized personal urn can hold all the ashes of an adult. For holding just a portion of the ashes, we recommend the keepsake sized personal urns.

Does that mean mini versions of your loved ones are available? We’re not sure.

We’re also not sure we want to know.

Wait…did that thing just wink?
[Cremation Solutions]

High School Football Coach Suspended For Grave Yard Motivational Speech

Friday, September 30th, 2011


Who doesn’t love Remember The Titans. A story of redemption, hope, togetherness and the cheerleader from Heroes when she was like, 9.

You know who really loves Remember The Titans? High School football coach Jim Marsh. On the way back from a loss, he decided to inspire his team in the style of that film by pulling all of his kids off the bus at a cemetery, telling them to lie down and giving a motivational speech.

The same way Coach Boone brought the kids to Gettysburgh and encouraged his team to learn a “lesson from the dead“? Right?

The only difference is that Coach Boone’s team took that energy, conquered racism and won the championship and Coach Marsh just got suspended for two weeks thanks to some parental complaints.

As for the people in the graves that were walked upon, they had no comment. Because they are dead and dead people don’t give comment.