Archive for the ‘Earthquake’ Category

Chilean Earthquakes Create Massive Influx Of Ghost Sightings

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010


The string of earthquake in Chile not only inspired an outpouring of foreign aide and worldwide attention, it’s also been the impetus for a ton of recently-minted ghosts to rattle around the areas in which they died.

Shadows cross the Cardenal Raul Silva Henriquez Bridge in Constitucion; Cell phone screens light up suddenly, as if trying to receive phone calls. The moans and tears of children and their mothers resonate throughout the wooded Curanipe camping grounds, where thirty people lost their lives on February 27th.

Situations such as these are being reported by residents of Region de Maule, who claim that they repeat over and over in the early morning hours. “It’s the people who died here. They’re asking to be found and be given a burial,” says Juan Morales Morales, who works nights doing repairs on the Constitución Bridge. Dozens of people died in this area while camping at Isla Orrego, at the mouth of the Maule River.

We’re guessing a regular morning ghost symphony of screams and cell phone rings won’t bolster the camping tourism in this area.


Despite Best Efforts, Exposed Breasts Fail To Trigger Massive Earthquake

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Cleric said boobs cause earthquake. Boobs tried to do just that. Boobs failed.

Hooray science!

Women Ready Attempt To Spur Earthquake With Boobs

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

We reported a few days ago an edict laid down by an Iranian cleric claiming immodestly dressed women were a contributing factor for earthquakes. Specifically intimating that ladies hoeing it up this year has been the root cause of the high profile quakes in Haiti, Chile and Mexico.

But if he thinks it was bad before, just wait until this coming Monday. A Facebook group entitled Boobquake is looking to shake things up, cleavage-style.

The movement calls for all women to really shake what their mother gave them in an effort to tip the cleric’s Islamic espers and spur the tectonic plates somewhere on the earth. If it doesn’t cause an earthquake, then surely the “halter top=earthquake” theory has some ‘splaining to do.

Ladies, get ready to bring the mountains to Mohammed!


Sexy Lady Clothing Revealed As Cause Of Recent Earthquakes By Cleric

Monday, April 19th, 2010

That explains a lot.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has made headlines recently that Tehran will suffer an earthquake soon and many of it’s 12 million inhabitants should flee and presumably lose their jorts and halter tops in the process. That being said, if immodest dress does cause earthquakes there is no doubt as to why George Clooney has been so active on the subject.

[Yahoo via Pharyngula]