Archive for the ‘Police’ Category

Happy Thanksgiving! Now Pass the ‘Girl Meat’!

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

And in true WeirdThings fashion here’s a story to enjoy while you’re waiting for your Turducken to golden its sweet self.

Most of you prefer white meat. Some of you prefer dark meat.

NYPD officer Gilberto Valle prefers something he’s coined ‘girl meat’. According to the prosecution in a bizarre case against Valle, he was going to sit down to a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings and a plateful of said ‘girl meat’.

“I’m planning on getting some girl meat. This November, for Thanksgiving. It’s a long way off, but I’m getting the plan in motion now. She’s not a volunteer. She has to be abducted. I know where she lives. I will grab her from her house. I was thinking of tying her body onto some kind of apparatus. Cook her over a low heat, keep her alive as long as possible.”

We can hear everyone quietly putting down their forks and looking around awkwardly.

Valle is apparently part of a small subculture that prefers its meat right off the bone…the human bone. The ‘girl meat’ that Valle was refering to was just that…the meat of an abducted girl. Federal prosecutors produced the transcript of an online chat between Gilberto Valle and an alleged co-conspirator that revealed his plan to abduct a woman he knew and roast her alive and slowly over an open flame.

While his defense claims that Valle would never commit such an act and that his thoughts alone don’t deserve jail-time (he’s currently locked up in solitary confinement), an FBI expert from Quantico looked at the case and stated that he would definitely eventually act on his plans.

The judge handling the case has denied bail for the third time as of this posting and the court proceedings begin on January 22nd which could actually make CourtTV worth watching.

Now pass us those fava beans (we couldn’t resist)!

[NY Times]

Drunken “Wolfman” Captured In Ohio

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Police in Brownhelm Township, Ohio were called to Timber Ridge Campground because an extremely intoxicated man was fighting people and kicking dog cages. So far this story sounds like just another night on Lake Erie, but when the police found the man in question, Thomas Stroup, passed out in a trailer surrounded by knives and swords things got interesting. When he was first awoken by the police he reportedly growled at them and then started talking in a slurred Russian accent. He then proceeded to tell the deputies that he had been scratched by a wolf in Germany and now “blacks out and goes on the attack when the moon’s out”.

“A man who allegedly acted violently after drinking “copious amounts of vodka” told Lorain County sheriff’s deputies he had been scratched by a wolf in Germany and now “goes on the attack when the moon’s out,” deputies reported.

Deputies found Stroup passed out inside a trailer filled with knives, swords and other edged weapons, the report said. When Stroup awoke, at first he only growled at deputies. When he spoke, his words were slurred and in a thick Russian accent.

He told a deputy he was going to kill the deputy’s cousin Keith, but the deputy did not have a cousin named Keith, according to the report.

While being driven to jail, Stroup was apologetic, saying he drank too much vodka and blacked out. He added he was arrested last year by German police for blacking out after drinking too much vodka. Police found a passport in his pocket confirming he had visited Germany.”

I love the fact that he actually has his passport in his pocket and the deputies actually go through the process of verifying that he had actually been to Germany and then including it in the report.

[The Morning Journal and Fox 8 Cleveland via Deadspin]

Cops Shoot At Concrete Alligator

Saturday, June 4th, 2011

“Rick Sheridan was working in his garage when he heard gunshots. He went around the back of his house to a pond, where he saw three police officers. The three officers had spotted the gator and were lined up on the bank, shooting at the large reptile.”

No words.

[Fox 4 KC]

Florida Police Explode Toy Pony

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

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In a bizarre scene, members of the Orlando bomb squad exploded a lovable toy pony next to an elementary school. The fake horse was initially suspected as a possible bomb and authorities quickly locked down the scene and took immediate action to deal with the stand-up stuffed animal.

The video on this is pretty amazing.


Scottish Police Believed In Loch Ness Monster, Conspired To Protect It

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010


Newly released government documents confirm that Scottish police believed there was a strange, beautiful creature in the Highlands lake of Loch Ness, and no one was going to kill it on their watch.

The files from the National Archive of Scotland show that local officials asked Britain’s Parliament to investigate the issue and confirm the monster’s existence — in the interests of science.

“That there is some strange creature in Loch Ness now seems beyond doubt,” wrote William Fraser, a senior police officer, “but that the police have any power to protect it is very doubtful.”

…Fraser’s letter to officials in London warned that he feared hunters Peter Kent and Marion Stirling were “determined to catch the monster dead or alive” and planned to use a “special harpoon gun.”

Kent was preparing a major operation including 20 experienced hunters and Fraser said he warned of the “desirability of having the creature left alone.”

Why wasn’t this a Saturday morning cartoon show when I was growing up?