Archive for January, 2013

Dig In! Tokyo Restaurant Features Meals Made with Dirt!

Saturday, January 26th, 2013

Sometimes you go out for dinner and wonder whether or not the guys in the kitchen are fixing your meal based on your server’s impression of you and using questionable ingredients like forehead sweat just to teach you a lesson.

At Ne Quittez Pas (which translates to: “Please don’t leave”, a French restaurant located in Tokyo’s Gotanda District, you don’t have to wonder about weird stuff being put in your food behind your back.


Because Ne Quittez Pas makes it no secret that many of their meals are created using the same thing many of you as a I’ll-stick-anything-in-my-mouth toddler probably taste-tested…


Ne Quittez Pas’ actually has an entire menu featuring dishes made with dirt!

Here’s your list:

Potato Starch and Dirt Soup
Salad with Dirt Dressing
Dirt Ice Cream and a Dirt Gratin
Dirt Mint Tea
There’s also something called “Minerals of the sea and minerals of the land,” an aspic made with oriental clams and the top layer of sediment, and a dirt risotto with sauteed sea bass and burdock root”.

How does gourmet dirt taste? Most of the people partaking of the ground we all walk on have said that it’s a non-issue because the dishes all taste so flippin’ good!

Next time you’re complaining about being hungry? Stop complaining…

Just grab a handful of what’s right under your feet and toss it down.

We’re not responsible for your bad decisions based on our bad suggestions.

Bon Appetit!


Berserker Attacks Man, Makes Love to Floor, Gets Tased!

Saturday, January 26th, 2013


You’re chillin’ at home in front of the television.


You hear some kind of resonating thud from outside. You assume it’s thunder or a neighbor and his anvil.


You’re about to be REAL wrong!


You hear this crazy sound coming from your roof so you go to investigate.

What do you find?

Were you a resident of a small neighborhood in Florida (yep…the streak continues), you might’ve uttered a “Aww….Hell no!” at 21 year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni who would’ve been standing on your roof…marching around on it…naked…BAM!..BAM!…BAM!…

That’s what a resident witnessed upon investigating a loud, thundering sound outside…a naked guy bounding around on his roof.

Once Bruni was discovered as the cause of the disturbance and the jig was up, he fly-tackled the owner of the home who’d come outside to investigate the source of the noise.
After leaping from the roof and onto the homeowner, Bruni ran inside the house screaming. In what can only be described as a tantrum, Bruni ran to the large screen television in the living room and pulled it over onto the floor. Bruni then happened upon the family’s vacuum cleaner and, in the weirdest display of a five-year-old not getting the ice cream he’d wanted, Bruni emptied the vacuum cleaner’s contents back onto the floor it had apparently just cleaned. The homeowner’s wife, who was aware things were gettin’ a little crazy, fired three warning shots with a revolver as Bruni finished undoing what the vacuum had done. In a panic Bruni hit the floor…

He didn’t just hit the floor….that would’ve been too easy (and not quite worthy of being ‘Florida-weird’).

He began amorously rubbing himself against the floor.

Once he felt his relationship with the floor had reached its climax, Bruni ran into the handgun-sporting wife’s closet and rubbed her clothing all over his face.

Bruni continued acting like a raging Muppet until the homeowner that’d been fly-tackled was able to get a shotgun and keep Bruni cornered until deputies arrived and constrained him by finally nailing the guy with a taser.

Bruni is being charged with Criminal Mischief, Battery, Occupied Burglary and resisting without violence.

Authorities believe that Bruni had been taking some kind of drug at the time of the incident but aren’t sure what it may have been.

While they all try to find an answer to what Bruni may have been taking….we’ll just quietly gesture back to our posts during the ‘bath-salt-zombie’ craziness that took place early last year and wonder if it’s not quite over just yet.

Or is Bruni just an idiot who’s late to the game…



Scotland Decides Ponies in Cardigans Will Boost Tourism: They’re Right

Friday, January 25th, 2013

Sometimes towns and even countries have to stretch to lure potential tourist dollars.
Occasionally the only thing are some strange promises of something unique about a particular area.

We’ve all seen photos of the Giant Ball of (insert something you might make a giant ball out of). You might be surprised just how many will actually drive out to seek these over-the-top and almost accidental attractions.

To celebrate the ‘Year of Natural Scotland 2013’, the ‘Visit Scotland’ website has created something that might possibly cause peoples’ heads to explode in a ball of confetti, sparkles and female anime character giggles.

They’ve taken one adorable thing and one questionable fashion choice of Scottish heritage and combined them into a nexus of weirdly cute by dressing two ponies, Vitamin and Fivla….

…in cardigans.

Most local websites that often state: ‘Come See the Town of _______ where you can sit for hours and see local squirrels bury their nuts or sit by the lake for hours on end while wondering about other towns where something exciting might be happening’ just never seem to help garner enough buzz for you to even consider visiting.

But…two adorable ponies made even more adorable because they’re wearing sweaters?

We think people might notice.

[Design Taxi]

Crappy Little Beetle Helps Develop True-Color Nightvision!

Friday, January 25th, 2013

For two decades Eric Warrant has literally had a pretty crappy job. As a student who specializes in optics at the University of Lund in Sweden, he has been passionately studying the last creature on earth that you’d think of when it came to helping Toyota develop a true-color night-vision system…

The dung beetle.

Dung beetles have an uncanny ability to see clearly and navigate in even the darkest environment. Toyota is interested in developing a night-vision navigation system that allows for an optimal, full-color image in those conditions, we all want to avoid a car accident in the dark and Eric Warrant likes spending time with dung beetles. Everybody wins!

Using dung beetles’ abilities as the launching point and inspiration for this idea, Toyota is developing, in the simplest explanation we can give you, an advanced algorithym system that teaches the camera to look at every pixel in a single frame of video, look at the surrounding pixels, any movement in adjacent pixels and basically milk as much image information from the collected data in real-time to create a perfect, true-color image from nothing but a seemingly black image.

The team originally assumed they would have to design a special processor chip to run the algorithm and this would go inside a digital video camera, Malm says. In fact, the processing unit of a conventional PC graphics card was powerful enough to do the job, and they have managed to fine tune the algorithm to analyse images from the camera’s three colour channels – red, green and blue – simultaneously in real time. Three years after starting the project, the team finally have a way of capturing full-colour moving images shot in what to human eyes is almost total darkness.

Exactly how this technology will eventually be used is anyone’s guess.

But when that tech finally saves lives in the dark?

We can all stand up and applaud a crazy dude and his obsession with a crappy little bug.

[New Scientist]

Podcast: Help! A Goblin Slept With My Wife!

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Skitched 20110225 175343

Andrew is back. Brian is gone. And the one and only Veronica Belmont joins us. Goblins overrrun a Zimbabwe clinic, we take Veronica on quite a tour of our continuing goblin epidemic. We contemplate if a woman would have a neanderthal baby. An update on the Python Killin’ Contest in Florida. We try to sex up a SpaceX announcement.

It’s all coming up on a new Weird Things podcast!

Support the show by purchasing Andrew’s BRAND NEW BOOK Hollywood Pharaohs just click on the image below.


Try out the brand new PODCASTR player, featuring wireless syncing between desktop browsers and iOS devices.

Subscribe to the Weird Things podcast on iTunes
Podcast RSS feed
Episode archive
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Old Man’s War


Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy


Game of Thrones

Son Takes Dad Home – From the Cemetery!

Monday, January 21st, 2013

Clarence Bright passed away at 93 years of age and his corpse was being prepped for burial in his final resting place.

Key word in that last sentence? ‘Was’.

Just hours before being buried, the body of Clarence Bright went missing. After receiving tips from family members, authorities began searching for Clarence’s son, Vincent. Almost immediately their search turned up a van containing a casket but still no Clarence.

When authorities finally arrived at Vincent’s home, they also found out where Clarence had seemingly sauntered off to.

Vincent, who, according to his family, had extreme religious views, had taken his good ol’ Dad home, in a cliche’ rookie move put him in the freezer in the basement and was going to bring him back to life.

Authorities shook their heads, arrested him, plucked his dad-sicle from the freezer and slapped a $75,000 bond on him.

Wayne County Jail arraigned Vincent via video.

In an understatement to the media, Vincent Bright’s lawyer, Gerald Karafa said:

“It’s an unusual case. It’s not something you see every day.”

Obviously Gerald the lawyer isn’t a regular reader of WeirdThings.

[Associated Press]

Chimp Gets Cable – Prefers Sexier Premium Channels

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

While we all wait for the scenes in Planet of the Apes to play out in real-life, a female chimp named Gina will give us all a glimmer of hope that at least a small percentage of our future primate overlords will need us for a little sumthin’ sumthin’…

Even if that something’s acting out her favorite love scenes from high-quality fare like ‘Slappin’ Bumpies 2′.

For those still catching up…

Gina is a female chimp at the Seville Zoo in Spain. As part of the zoo’s enrichment program, Gina was given her very own remote control for a television mounted to a wall near her cage.

Not long after Gina began figuring out how to work the remote, she also found that she preferred certain channels over others.

Those ‘certain channels’ were the ones that featured the people that kept her in cages riding one another like pack animals (obviously we’re skirting the ‘P’ word because that tosses red flags).

Pablo Herreros, the zoo’s primatologist wrote in his paper on Gina and her viewing preferences:

“The surprise was when they found that within a few days, Gina was not only using the remote control perfectly well, but that she also used to choose the p**n channel for entertainment, as many of us would have done.”

At least we know there’ll be a few sympathizers we can count on when we end up in cages with bad day-time television blaring at us.

Even if they just want us for our bodies.

We went there.

[New York Daily News]

18 Severed Heads Discovered at O’ Hare International Airport!

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Ever leave the house knowing you forgot…something?

We’re wondering what it was like when the guy who was supposed to file paperwork for 18 human heads for medical study realized that he’d forgotten to file paperwork for 18 human heads for medical study.

One week before Santa Claus was to descend on the world with a bag of awesomeness, 18 well-preserved human heads showed up at O’ Hare International Airport with no explanation….just a bunch of questions. It wasn’t until an employee from a crematorium came to pick up the heads that things became clear.

Tagged as ‘medical specimens’, the heads had originally shipped from the US to Rome for medical study and were coming back to the states to be cremated.

Brian Bell of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security stated:
“There’s no issue with the transportation of body parts for medical purposes. There’s nothing against the law that says you cannot ship them, provided you have the right documentation. Everybody here is ‘Oh my gosh, you got a box of heads’ and everybody thinks that it’s unheard of. It is a potentially legitimate medical shipment. We’ve seen it at various ports in the nation.”

You can leave all your ‘I’d-forget-my-head-if-it-wasn’t-attached jokes below.’

[Chicago Sun Times]

Disturbing Robot ‘Baby’ Makes Ultra-Realistic Faces – Smiles at the End of Mankind

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

In our article about the other new toddler robot called Roboy we mentioned Diego-san. Here’s your first look into the robotic wagon-train that’s leaving Uncanny Valley slowly but surely.

When John Connor shows up and SkyNet goes live it won’t be the T1000s we’re worried about.


We’ll be too terrified by something that’s already been here.

Robot babies.

And you can tear that cute baby robot picture off the wall of your imagination…because robot babies are about as far as you can get from being ‘cute’.

Because we’re not satisfied with making skeletal robots that look like mechanical grim reapers, the University of San Diego has created a ridiculously amazing and disturbingly realistic over-sized one-year-old in order to study the cognitive development of infants.

“Its main goal is to try and understand the development of sensory motor intelligence from a computational point of view. It brings together researchers in developmental psychology, machine learning, neuroscience, computer vision and robotics. Basically we are trying to understand the computational problems that a baby’s brain faces when learning to move its own body and use it to interact with the physical and social worlds.”

As we continue grinning and patting ourselves on the back about our advances in robot technology and march ourselves into our own demise, you can rest assured that the armies of creepy robot babies are just going to keep on smiling that same frightening smile that’ll remind us of ourselves when we were so excited about our accomplishments in robotics.

Until then just keep hitting the replay button and shuddering at Diego-san’s facial expressions.


Company Creates Robotic Toddler to Help Us Like Our Future Overlords

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

Across the globe from the uncanny valley that is Diego-san’s facial expressions, the University of Zurich’s Artificial Intelligence Laboratory making another weird foray into the creation of a robot toddler.

Roboy is being developing with the help of crowd-funding,, sponsorships and almost 40 engineers and scientists.

Just like its weaker, fleshy, real-life inspiration, Roboy’s design gestation is going to take about 9 months to full completion.

Roboy is being developed to ease people into actually living with robots and not being creeped out by them. Roboy’s face was chosen during a Facebook contest. Its body is made entirely of plastic and will be covered with a fleshy, rubber-like material to simulate skin. Unlike typical robot movement mechanisms, Roboy will feature elastic cables pulled by motors in order to provide movement more human-like and less bad robot-dance-like.

Part of Roboy’s mission is to help build a bridge across the uncanny valley and get people more comfortable with having robots around and being a part of their lives.

Service robots are going to be a part of our lives in the very near future. As the population ages, new generations will already be more comfortable with having robots around and using them to do menial tasks for us.

Roboy will heading out into the world as part of the ‘Robots on Tour’ event that begins March and will exhibit all sorts of our future replacements.

Then there’s that incessant and nagging subconscious feeling that we might piss them off and see an army more terrifying than anything Hollywood could put in front of our peepers….


Podcast: Unlimited Snake Murder

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

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Tom Merritt is our substitute Mayne this week. A Brazilian prison is part of an elaborate escape plan with an unlikely partner in crime. A police department in Florida is ensconsed in a cloud of technological suffication to the detrimite of car owners. Can a brand new pair of detectives named Hobo McGillicutty and Timetraveler Jones solve the case?

Also: Snake murder is the order of the day in South Florida! Python death up to your knees!

It’s all coming up on a new Weird Things podcast!

Support the show by purchasing Andrew’s BRAND NEW BOOK Hollywood Pharaohs just click on the image below.


Try out the brand new PODCASTR player, featuring wireless syncing between desktop browsers and iOS devices.

Subscribe to the Weird Things podcast on iTunes
Podcast RSS feed
Episode archive
Download url:





Star Wars: Scoundrels



Giant Squid Caught on Camera in the Wild For the First Time!

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Giant squids are legendary.

They’ve taken on Moby Dick, Captain Nemo’s Nautilus and even a bunch of Goonies.

While giant squids have been captured in the past and alleged parts of them have surfaced here and there…seeing one in the wild has been something of a Holy Grail moment that misty-eyed scientists and cryptozoologists have dreamt about forever.

Everyone can prepare to drop your jaws because there is now video of one of these mysterious monsters going about its business deep in the Pacific Ocean.

A team of three Japanese scientists spent over 400 hours crammed in a 31 foot submersible over the course of 100 missions about 150 miles north of Iwo Jima.

At a depth of 2,066 feet, the lights from the submersible reflected onto the creature’s silver skin as it eyeballed the sub curiously before it swam off.

The Discovery Channel’s new branch, Curiosity, is keeping the footage secret until the season finale later this month when they’ll unveil it to the world for the first time…

Up until then? A lot of “Release the Kraken!” headlines.


Sacrificed Animals Wash Up at Luxury Resort in South Beach

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

We’ve all heard the expression ‘something old is new again’. Well that, and the fact that Florida was apparently created on top of an ancient Hell Mouth of some sort, brings this creepy discovery coming out of Miami.
Residents of a fancy-shmancy resort on the waters of Biscayne Bay in South Beach had been smelling something ‘unique’ in their building.

It wasn’t the uniquely fancy-shmancy food.

Three chickens and one goat washed up together on the sidewalk behind the resort. They were all missing one important thing…their heads.

After phone calls were made to the police regarding the animals, a spokesman for the department said that they weren’t going to get involved because “the dead animals didn’t appear to be sacrificed as a threat directed against any particular individual.” So instead? They just let them rot there for a couple of days.

Eventually Richard Couto, an investigator of the Animal Recovery Mission, stated that the animals seem to have been killed as part of a Santeria or Palo Mayombe ritual. Everyone involved, with the exception of those living in the nearby luxury condos, simply shrugged the event off as something that happens all the time because of the mixture of Afro-Caribbean cultures in the area. Animal sacrifice for religious purposes is also not against the law and is protected under first amendment rights.

Where the animals actually came from is still a mystery. Other reports of animal sacrifices in the area have been quietly popping up in the local news but those too are being ignored as just something that happens in the area.

Is there something else going on in South Florida?

We’ll be watching…but we’ll be locking up our pets…you know…just in case.

[Miami Herald]

Weird Things Podcast Recording LIVE!

Monday, January 7th, 2013
Watch live video from scamschoolbrian on

Support Weird Things, Take Dredd Home with You in this Awesome Amazon Deal

Saturday, January 5th, 2013

We told you to check this film out in theaters. We pleaded on the Weird Things podcast, we begged you on Twitter. We even asked you all to take the Dredd Pledge.

Some of you did. For those of you who didn’t, or those of you who love, love this movie and want to take this gem of a film home, now here’s your chance.

Amazon is running a promo on Dredd (over 50% off!) where you can get the Blu-ray, the 3D Blu-ray version, the UltraViolet version nobody will use AND a digital copy you can save to your iTunes account you can watch on your PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad and AppleTV. It’s basically future-proof, so when we’re all living in the irradiated wasteland of America in Mega City One, we can stay safely behind barred windows and watch this awesome little flick over and over again.

Dredd isn’t for everyone. But for those of you into the idea of a High Noon meets Die Hard meets Mad Max in one glorious riot of ultraviolence, we think you’ll dig this. Plus it stars Karl “New Bones” Urban and Lena Headey of Game of Thrones and Sara Conner Chronicles fame.

Get it now while it lasts for just $19.99

Podcast: Fuzzy Wonder Goat

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Skitched 20110225 175343

ANDREW returns! We finally get our update on The Snuggery! Will our intrepid reporter unleash a b-dog on this poor woman? Mayne tells us of a hilarious run-in with a legendary magician. The boys peruse a vintage catalogue of hazing devices. We review our predictions of 2012 and make new ones for 2013.

It’s a DOUBLE STUFFED edition of the Weird Things Podcast!

Support the show by purchasing Andrew’s BRAND NEW BOOK Hollywood Pharaohs just click on the image below.


Try out the brand new PODCASTR player, featuring wireless syncing between desktop browsers and iOS devices.

Subscribe to the Weird Things podcast on iTunes
Podcast RSS feed
Episode archive
Download url:




1933 King Kong


Doctor Who – The Snowmen


Django Unchained