Archive for the ‘Psychic’ Category

Psychic Pig Now King of the Sports Prediction Barnyard

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

Not to be outdone by Germany’s cross-eyed possum, Slovakia’s two-headed turtle and the infamous Paul the Octopus, the city of Kiev is adding a pig to the psychic barnyard.

Hoping to cash in on the excitement these animals illicit from fans, this Ukranian pig will be carted out every day at four o’ clock to make its prediction about which team will be win the European championship matches leading up to the World Cup.

What’s more fascinating about whether or not the pig will accurately predict the upcoming matches, is the statement from Kiev’s city government:

“A unique oracle hog, a real Ukranian pig and a psychic which knows the mysteries of football.”

No. pressure on the pig, right?

Think again… smell that? It’s the smell of failure and delicious bacon.

[The Leader Board]

Fortune Teller Gets Busted for Googling Information on Clients

Monday, May 7th, 2012


A pair of fraud Romanian fortune tellers have been busted for the oldest tricks in the rankable page index: Googling information on their clients.

The two made a living allegedly selling “the future” to customers by pearing into a crystal ball. Their claims were only bolstered by the fact that they seemed to know so many other facts about the lives of those that called upon them. Police exposed their antics after an accomplice attempted to bribe an officer to make the whole affair go away.

Although the pair are shut down now, it did not come soon enough for one poor woman who was parted with a large sum of cash in one of the most awesome scams ever.

One woman told how she had believed the two Roma women were genuine mystics, and had been persuaded to take tens of thousands of pounds and go to a nearby lake for a midnight ritual. She had been told that she had to release herself from the burden of her money and throw it all in the lake – but when she hesitated a demon like figure had emerged from the water and in a panic – she had thrown the money into the water and run away.

But police discovered that the water devil was in fact a pal of the pair who had put on diving gear and a mask to terrify the unsuspecting victim.

The Old Water Demon Running Out Of The Lake graft. What a rube.

[Austrian Times]

Visionary Mollusk, Scourge To Bookies: Paul The Octopus Dies

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010


We spent quite a bit of time during the World Cup discussing Paul the Octopus. The tentacled critter, who from the watery confines of his tank at a German zoo correctly predicted all of his home country’s games as well as the final. He became an international phenomenon.

Now: he’s dead.

After living a too-short two and a half years, Paul passed on.

We offer the customary Weird Things 21 Han Solo blaster salute to a being that understood the only way to make an international soccer competition better is to have an octopus possibly fixing games with mind control.


Stunning! Paul The Octopus Spurns Germany, Picks Victorious Spain

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

Undefeated. Undisputed. Unequaled.

Paul The Octopus wins again.

Psychic German Octopus Again Picks Home Team, Argentina Counters With Sooth Sayer Dolphin

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

We’ve covered the antics of the zoo at Oberhausen, Germany before. To recap, they’ve forced all of their animals to make predictions on German national World Cup games. The most accurate is Paul, an octopus who has correctly predicted every outcome, including one German loss.

Like a tentacled love child of Punxsutawney Phil and Jimmy The Greek, Paul arose from his habitat and pontificated another German victory yesterday over Argentina.

BUT WAIT! The Argentines have countered with their own psychic animal, Sayco a dolphin from the port city of Mar del Plata. The mammal made a dramatic leap out of his pool to knock loose a blue and white ball, ignoring a similar sphere colored red, white and yellow.

Paul! Sayco! Which animal is truly diving the whispers of the future and which is just a filthy, water-logged liar?


Crazy German Zoo Forces Shockingly Accurate Sports Predictions From Octopus

Friday, June 25th, 2010

From his aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany an octopus named Paul has predicted a win for the home team over England this weekend in Knockout Round World Cup play. Paul has been forced to predict national soccer matches regularly and so far he is perfect through group play, predicting victory over Australia and Ghana as well as a loss against Serbia.

Paul makes his predictions by removing a muscle from one of two bins marked with the team flags. He offered no further comment on the increasingly active play of England’s Wayne Rooney or if the void left by Michael Ballack in the German midfield will wear on the team as the tournament stretches longer. Instead, he creepily moved his tentacles before hiding behind a rock while a tourist tried to take his picture.

What’s most disturbing, this zoo is a hothouse for animal-devined sports prediction. The staff forces many of their animals including hippos and monkeys to make predictions for each match. So far, Paul has been the most accurate.

[Fox News]

Fortune Telling Legalized In Maryland

Friday, June 11th, 2010


A Maryland court has struck down a county law that barred fortune telling as a violation of free speech. Just as I foresaw in the espers of time!

Judge Clayton Greene Jr., who wrote the court’s opinion, concluded that while fortune-tellers may sometimes deceive their customers, it’s not up to the court to pass judgment on the validity or value of their soothsaying.

“If Montgomery County is concerned that fortune-tellers will engage in fraudulent conduct, the county can enforce fraud laws in the event that fraud occurs,” Greene wrote in the majority opinion.

The suit was brought by a man who was denied a business license for his fortune dispensary in 2008.

[Business Week]