Archive for the ‘Snakes’ Category

Snake Eats Full-Sized Pitbull – Will Probably Move on to Humans Next

Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

WARNING: IF YOU’RE SQUEAMISH ABOUT ANIMALS EATING ANIMALS AND BEING CUT OPEN TO REVEAL EATEN ANIMALS? Netflix has My Little Pony and you should probably play some of those instead of the above video.

While we all worry about robots taking over our planet, snakes are quietly learning to fly, take over large land masses, moving in and nesting in our homes and now?

They’re swallowing man’s best friends…whole.

Locals in Cuiaba, Brazil spotted a ridiculously large snake with with a grotesquely distended stomach…so they investigated….and shot video of the ‘investigation’.

2ND WARNING: This video ain’t for the squeamish.

Everyone else? Hit that play button.

Snakes Latest Massage Craze in Jakarta

Friday, November 1st, 2013

There’s going to come a point when we’ve just run about used every animal to give human beings massages and facials. That day’s not here yet but by the time we get news that an irate army of fire ants is being used to relax people in a spa in some tiny, remote country we’re probably just going to shrug out an, “Eh.”

Currently a spa in Indonesia is using many peoples’ nightmarish cuddle-buddy to relax them. “Relax” would be the wrong word to use in this case. The theory is that adrenaline, which is triggered by the fear of having a giant python crawling across your naked body, and the snake’s movement, are supposed to be good for your skin.

Fearing for your life sounds exactly like the opposite of the whole idea behind visiting a spa.

[Weather Channel’s YouTube]

Giant Snake Opens Doors – Steps Into Your Nightmares!

Monday, June 24th, 2013

Watch as this door opens up and something spills straight out of this closet and into your nightmares.

This is Julius and yes…this thing DID learn to open even round doorknobs. So you’re really not safe anywhere.

Julius passed away in 2012 from an infection that her vet could not diagnose. While we’re saddened about that…we’re glad that Julius didn’t get the chance to visit Florida and teach the rampant pythons here this trick.

That would’ve finally dumped the Sunshine State into the hellmouth it currently sits on.


Nightmare Sea Snake Trolling the Waters of Australia

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Spiny, Venomous New Sea Snake Discovered—_Something Special_.jpg

“Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.”

What a malarky sentence. It’s never safe. Ever. Stop thinking that people. There will always be something in there to kill you.

Take this brand new sea snake discovered off the coast of Australia. It’s venomous and coated in spikes, just in case that first part wasn’t enough.

Though some other sea snakes have spiky scales on their bellies, “no other [known] sea snake has this curious feature,” study leader Kanishka Ukuwela, an ecologist at the University of Adelaide, said by email.

Normally snakes have smooth scales, but each of the newly named Hydrophis donaldi’s scales has a spiny projection, he said.

Scientists cruising shallow seagrass beds in the Gulf of Carpentaria (map) recently captured nine of the rough-scaled reptiles.

Seriously, the ocean is a soup of terror. I will never feel at ease until James Cameron personally murders all of these horrifying little goblins and any others we haven’t accidentally run across.

From here on out, I live my life by the SALTY LANGUAGE PLEASE DON’T CLICK UNLESS YOU WANT TO HEAR CURSE WORDS code of Chris Cooper in Adaptation.

[National Geographic]