Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

My Mother is a Green Alien! British Councilor Confesses

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
Contactee Simon Parkes Part 1.flv - YouTube.jpg

I am fond of saying that all politicians are lizard people. Vaguely humanoid creatures drawn to the warmth of public office and the uniquely bizarre responsibilities and customs that go with it.

But that’s just a metaphor. A way to illustrate a healthy distrust for anyone campaigning.

It certainly isn’t true about Councillor Simon Parkes of the UK, who was elected only last month. He isn’t a lizard person. No, according to a confessional vlog on YouTube he’s one half green alien.

He said: “Two green stick things came in. I was aware of some movement over my head. I thought, ‘they’re not mummy’s hands, mummy’s hands are pink’.”

He added: “I was looking straight into its face. It enters my mind through my eyes and it sends a message down my optic nerve into my brain.

“It says ‘I am your real mother, I am your more important mother’.”

He later confesses that his alien background did not come up during his recent campaigning. Furthermore, his extraterrestrial lineage is far more aware of the world around him than the local government he was elected to serve on.

“I get more common sense out of the aliens than out of Scarborough Town Hall. The aliens are far more aware of stuff. People in the Town Hall seem not to be aware of the needs of Whitby.”

You’ve cracked us Councillor Parkes… you’ve earned my endorsement for the next public office you seek. Because, if he’s willing to confess he was raised by a green alien, what could he possibly be hiding?

[The Northern Record] via mxyzplx on Twitter

Mitt Romney Upsets Bigfoot Hunting Voting Bloc

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

For someone who has won recent elections by single digit margins, you’d think that Mitt Romney wouldn’t be in the business of picking on any group of voters. Yet, there stood the former Governor of Massachusetts comparing the Newt Gingrich supporting hit piece documentary When Mitt Romney Came To Town as “the biggest hoax since Bigfoot.”

Now Cryptomundo is up in arms, baffled that a mainstream candidate would casually slam a possibly influential voting bloc of outdoorsy Sasquatch hunters.

They also point out that since Mitt is a Mormon, it might be time to come clean on the whole Cain is Bigfoot legend.


President’s Science Advisor: Beware the Coming Ice Age!

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Technically John P. Holdren wasn’t the science advisor when he made his dire predictions of an Ice Age and Ice Age powered super tidal waves bringing destruction upon us all in 1971. He was just trying to make sense of the data at hand back then (global cooling!) – and maybe give it a teensy tiny Roland Emmerich dramatic effect.

John Tierney over at TierneyLab at the NY Times points out some essays by Holdren and longtime doom and gloomer Paul Ehrlich that have been republished over at Zombietime.

Although they noted that the greenhouse effect from rising emissions of carbon dioxide emissions could cause future warming of the planet, they concluded from the mid-century cooling trend that the consequences of human activities (like industrial soot, dust from farms, jet exhaust, urbanization and deforestation) were more likely to first cause an ice age.

Holdren’s speculation and conclusion that forced abortion and mass sterilization would be viable and Constitutional avenues for population control to stave off environmental disaster are certainly out of box ideas. In his defense, the 1970’s was a scary time for Science Fiction. Logan’s Run, Silent Running and THX 1138 did not present an inspiring view of the future. Then again, outside Star Trek (which also prophesied a 21st Century collapse of civilization), what sci-fi films have a hopeful view of the future?

link: Holdren’s Ice Age Tidal Wave – TierneyLab Blog – and zombietime