Archive for the ‘Aliens’ Category

Amazing Kreskin Opens Supernatural Dating Site – Predicts It Will Take Dating to a New Dimension

Friday, March 27th, 2015

In a move only he could’ve seen coming…you know….because he’s who he is…the Amazing Kreskin has opened the gates on a new dating site…

A site for “enthusiasts of the paranormal, the unexplained, the mystical, the implausible…”

While we’re pretty sure the guy-to-girl ratio will probably be a lot like a magic club, Kreskin is predicting (yeah…we know) great things for the site:

“I have a feeling that it’s going to take on a dimension that I never realized.”

With Kreskin’s foresight that online graphic design will eventually swing back around to the geocities-era of the internet, the site will probably lure a niche market of older folks who have seen, captured or smelled a bigfoot or been abducted by time-traveling Atlanteans who need love just like the rest of us.

Which brings up some questions: What sort of beings are looking for love? Will they all be human or other things in diguise? Are there vampires and werewolves worried about the fall out from a public tryst in light of the Twilight movies? Are there off-world species seeking to swing it with a human for a cheap thrill on their way to somewhere else? Are the reptilians using the site for some sinister plot? Will other creatures find that someone special without having to brave daylight, pitchforks and torches?

Or is it just a bunch of lonely, probably really nice people just looking for a little companionship in a big and often harsh, ridiculing reality?

Answers will only come with time…

And filling out the sign up page.


Government Releases 130,000 UFO Files to Public – Aliens Chuckle Because We Still Know Nothing

Saturday, January 24th, 2015

Lots of ufologists, saucer-chasers and hunters of little green men became super-excited recently. John Greenewald of the and his continuous efforts to petition the government via the Freedom of Information Act to release Project Blue Book’s files concerning strange things in the sky paid off in spades as thousands of documents were given to the world.

Greenewald has put all of those reports in The Project Blue Book Collection, an archive on his site where you can sift through all of the files from the infamous UFO project created by the government decades ago.

That excitement was short-lived when those same ufologists, saucer-chasers and hunters of little green men realized that all the secrets they’d been waiting for just aren’t there.

According to a lot of online chatter in the extremely chatty community of extraterrestrial enthusiasts, it’s all gone back to square one because of censored documents and allegedly missing reports of some of the more infamous ufo cases.

Is this just a handout to keep the noise level down on a vast, active community who believe aliens are already living among us?

Is the government holding out on deeper, more pressing secrets?

Or are we just alone on this little freaking blue marble and hoping that we’re connected somehow to something bigger than all of this?

[ABC News]

Ex-MegaDeath Drummer Records UFO – Bonus: Reveals how humans evolved

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

The video pretty much explains it all. Nick Menza, who used to play for MegaDeath before things got ugly between him and his bandmates, spotted something weird in the sky over his home and hit record.

“I was standing in my front yard with my two boys and this is what we saw. [It had] the shape of a triangular object with rounded tips glowing yellow and white. [I am] not sure what it is, but it looked totally awesome.”

Menza also added, in true I’ve-been-a-rockstar fashion that he’s privy to humankind’s origins:

“Before, back in the Stone Ages, like when we were just regular humans, we didn’t have brains in us and then the aliens came down and they intervened and they put brains in our heads and now we’re all smart and we’re starting to figure things out, ascending to the next level and a higher level of conscious awareness and that sort of stuff.”

He obviously never peruses People of Walmart…

Wait…maybe that actually explains People of Walmart!


‘Cigar UFO’ Spotted Doing Volcano Drive-By in Mexico

Saturday, February 23rd, 2013

What’s up with UFOs, volcanoes and Mexico?

Just now hitting the internet are videos of a ‘cigar ufo’ doing a drive-by of a volcano in Mexico. In October of 2012 a more daring group of what’s probably the alien equivalent of a tour bus decided to just fly into a volcano so its occupants could probably Instagram much cooler pics than the other tour groups who were just safely cruising by.

Are we saying it’s a UFO? Nope. Probably just another drunk alien.

[UFOvni2012 YouTube Channel]

Denver Mystery UFO: Reasonable Explanation or Drunk Aliens?

Saturday, November 17th, 2012

Zipping through the thin air of Denver, a mystery has been uncovered by a local man and his Fox affiliate. The Unidentified Flying Object(s?) seem to appear every day between noon and 2 p.m. and are not visible to the naked eye. In fact, even the professional cameras caught them and had to slow things down frame by frame to see it (them).

By our math we got two explanations:

There is that of Benjamin Radford of Discovery

The most likely explanation? A bug or insect, probably a fly or bee.

Or there is the fun one we just made up. Aliens are getting day drunk and driving home, ya’ll!

How else would you account for how erratic that driving is? Furthermore, only 23 minutes away the main brewery for beer magnate Coors. What I am saying is that it’s highly likely these aliens are working night jobs in the greater Denver area. Knocking off their shift around 6 a.m. and somehow sneaking into the source of Rocky Mountain refreshments. They enjoy one too many Cold Certified beverages.

They return to their craft and take off like a Silver Bullet. Zigging and zagging until they break orbit and find their way home. Wasted.

If it didn’t make sense then please check this evidence.

Aliens are Watching Doctor Who and They Like It!

Monday, August 6th, 2012

aliens doctor who.png

About 50 years ago about 90 stations around the world had the capacity to transmit TV signals with enough power to reach Interstellar Space.  In many ways the only evidence of our presence as a civilization in this galaxy is all the television broadcasts these stations put out.  One of these stations was the BBC which transmitted with a signal of about 100,000 watts right in the middle of  the 41-68 MHz band.  So merrily, unwittingly, the human civilization on Earth broadcast its presence and culture to the larger Galaxy for more than 67 years.

To put this in perspective, and only counting with the TV signals, a 67 light-year radius  sphere of galactic space has knowledge of us and of our capacity for technology.  Within this 67 light-year sphere are contained at least 3000 stars and stellar systems.  Of these 3000 , at least 160 of them are G class stars very similar to our own sun.   So why does this matter?

Because, according to reports,  like a scene out of Carl Sagan’s Contact we are getting signals from space and they are our own!   Somewhere in deep interstellar space about 25 light-years away there is source of radio waves right smack in the 41-68 MHz band.   And this unknown object tentatively called the “Reflective Anomaly”  is beaming our own TV from 1963 right back at us.  This is great for us nerds because it means we can get back some of our lost classics like early William Hartnell Doctor Who episodes which the BBC in its wisdom erased to make way for masterpiece theatre or something like it on the very expensive early magnetic tapes.

Radio Astronomers are collecting and digitally enhancing these signals into usable recordings of  all the lost shows from that era.  The main article says that the “anomaly” is some sort of unexplained reflective material 25 ly away but to this observer that just sounds like they have no clue how this is possible.  They are refusing to consider the obvious.

Aliens!  The civilization who is doing this is situated just far enough away that they are about to experience the summer of love and eventually Men’s first landing on a non terrestrial object, the 1969, Apollo 11 Moonlanding.  They are beaming back our own signals because they have seen Doctor Who and they like it!  They are telling us that we might be friends,   that is until the catch a whiff of seventies and TV Gems like Monty Python’s Flying Circus and they decide we are all crazy.

I for one hope that our friends from across the void are just that. I mean an entity who likes the first Doctor can’t be all bad.  Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself :

Who knows , it might just be a bit of iron ore left over from an ancient supernova which is aligned just right to bounce some of the stuff we earthlings put out into space.  But it’s kinda cool to picture some strange being witnessing our history and our collective culture in a planet far, far, away.

Update:  Alas, this particular story is a hoax, which I believe is appropriated for these heady days, but the idea is intriguing.    How long till we  see a signal from some civilization and will we enjoy their crappy TV. Perhaps we will never know.


UFO or Famous Landmark?

Monday, July 30th, 2012
Optical Illusion_ UFO? Or Space Needle? (Video) | Gather-1.png

In this clip, a particularly well placed line of cloud cover makes the Seattle Space Needle look closer to a space ship.

Check out the moving footage.


Large Metal Capsule Falls to Earth, Baffles Authorities

Friday, December 23rd, 2011


In what is surely not the seemingly harmless opening salvo for an intergalactic invasion, a mysterious metal ball has fallen to Earth outside of an African village.

The hollow ball with a circumference of 1.1 metres (43 inches) was found near a village in the north of the country some 750 kilometres (480 miles) from the capital Windhoek, according to police forensics director Paul Ludik.

Locals had heard several small explosions a few days beforehand, he said.
With a diameter of 35 centimetres (14 inches), the ball has a rough surface and appears to consist of “two halves welded together”.

This is apparently a trend, with identical metal balls hitting elsewhere in Africa, Australia and Latin America over the last 20 years.

Can someone please dispatch an, at first, wary Jeff Goldblum to investigate this as he will surely soon stumble upon a terrifying pattern that the president must be warned of?

Thanks to our pal Chad Johnson for forwarding this along. Also, please excuse us posting the theme to the Mel Brooks’ classic Space Balls immediately below.


They Live Needs To Be Remade Every Major Recession [Opinion]

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

John Carpenter’s 1988 SciFi action masterpiece They Live needs to be remade every recession. It’s not a request, it’s a demand. And I have a proposal on when exactly to do it.

We can tie the productions to unemployment numbers. Once they hit a certain point, let’s say 7%, the rights skitched-20111207-210138.jpgholders commission a draft. The original film was released in November of ’88 (5.4%) but the nation had just come out of a crippling recession which topped out at 10.4% in 1982. We were as high as 7% in July of 1986.

In the film, our homeless hero played by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper makes friends with Keith David while taking a day labor gig at a construction site. It’s through this relationship and the introduction of a friendly vagrant commune that the bedrock of the socioeconomic underpinnings of the story are forged.

Put simply: There is no work. Life sucks. Take what you can get and shut up about it.

In today’s era of 8.6% unemployment. It’s a relatable narrative. A Google Image search for “They Live reveals inspired illustrations of both recession presidents. And unlike most stories that attempt to gain sympathy based on the economic plight of the underclass, They Live has a very simple solution everyone can get behind.


Aliens are controlling the planet using subliminal mind control. They use this to hide in plain sight. The rich are getting richer because they are in league with the aliens. We need to break their mind control hold on the proletariat so we can ultimately rise up and kill the aliens.


Class warfare as a justification for violence crass, easy and polarizing to say the least. Human survival as a reason for lethal action is primal, awesome and unifying. Throw in some brilliant creature design and no one can feel bad about Hot Rod murdering random strangers at the drop of a hat. Perfect action premise.

Thankfully, there has been talk of a remake. Unfortunately, it’s rumored to be based specifically of the source material for Ray Neely’s short story 8 O’Clock In The Morning. This has caused quite a stir since producer Eric Newman, who remade Carpenter’s The Thing earlier this year, insinuated that it would not include the iconic glasses which allows our hero to see behind the mind control curtain. More troubling for me, the story also lacks the economic subplot that makes They Live so instantly lovable for a theater full of people that know multiple unemployed people or are themselves without a steady paycheck. It’s also not particularly good.

It would be missing the point. Like remaking The Thing and removing the “the alien could be any one of us” device by constantly separating the alien from our survivors. Oh wait.

According to my proposal, we should have been hiring writers in December of 2008 when the unemployment rate hit 7.3%. Let’s not continue to make this mistake.

They Live is currently available on Netflix Instant. Watch it.

Do Aliens Surf The Internet?

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

They’ve travelled from far off destinations, they abduct and return specimens to their natural habitat and can out maneuver our best aircraft.

But… do they have wifi?

When you think about it, if we believe everything that comes along with aliens observing us from our own skies in whisper quiet craft why wouldn’t they be surfing the internet? It would only stand to reason. This is the theory of Diane Tessman writing for Conspiracy Journal:

The aliens can no doubt hack into personal “e” communications, too, and see the light and dark aspects of we common folk. They can read how much we value special friendships, how much we love our families, our dogs and our cats, how much we worry about being able to provide for those we love, and so much more.

Tessman does allow for the caveat that aliens had computers in centuries past but have since jettisoned them after they became self-aware and tried to kill their fleshy masters.

[Conspiracy Journal]

Did We Just Find A Microchip In Napoleon’s Skull?

Friday, October 21st, 2011


We might be on the verge or radically shifting the meaning of the term Napoleon complex from “small man who’s a really big jerk” to “person in afflicted by an alien microchip in their head.”

Dr. Dubois made the amazing find while studying Napoleon’s exhumed skeleton on a $140,000 grant from the French government.

“I was hoping to learn whether he suffered from a pituitary disorder that contributed to his small stature,” he explained.

But instead the researcher found something far more extraordinary: “As I examined the interior of the skull, my hand brushed across a tiny protrusion.

“I then looked at the area under a magnifying glass – and was stunned to find that the object was some kind of super-advanced microchip.”

Even more shocking, Napoleon’s Skull has been added to the list of hardware which will be able to run Android’s Ice Cream Sandwhich OS.

[Weekly World News]

Kiefer Sutherland: If You Don’t Believe In Aliens, You’re Arrogant

Monday, October 3rd, 2011


When Jack Bauer says it, it must be true.

Actor Kiefer Sutherland was asked if he believed in aliens and here’s what he said.

“When I look up at the sky on a clear night and see the wash of stars and planets, and everything that is outside our universe, I have to believe there is life everywhere.

“It would be very arrogant to believe this is the only planet that could sustain some kind of life.”

Although we want to learn how he looks up into the sky and sees beyond our universe, we are totally on Team Kiefer.

[Contact Music]

Theory Of Alien Life Raining Down On Earth Historically Linked To Meteor Passing

Monday, May 9th, 2011

Skitched 20110509 125408

In 2001, a bizarre scarlet rain showered southwest India on-and-off over two months. Many were baffled by the cell structures which gave the droplets its red hue. Some even suggested they might be extra terrestrial.

Those people have a sturdier stage to stand on today as a new study links historical accounts of similar red rains with meteor passings.

Mc­Caf­ferty an­a­lyzed, as he wrote, “80 ac­counts of red rain, an­oth­er 20 ref­er­ences to lakes and riv­ers turn­ing blood-red, and 68 ex­am­ples of oth­er phe­nom­e­na such as col­oured rain, black rain, milk, bricks, or hon­ey fall­ing from the sky.”

Six­ty of these events, or 36 per­cent, “were linked to me­te­oritic or com­et­ary ac­ti­vity,” he went on. But not al­ways strongly. Some­times, “the fall of red rain seems to have oc­curred af­ter an air­burst,” as from a me­te­or ex­plod­ing in air; oth­er times the odd rain­fall “is merely recorded in the same year as a stone-fall or the ap­pear­ance of a comet.”

If this study is on to something and if we can link meteor air bursts to this type of rainfall and if we can assume that something is being dropped from outer space into our atmosphere, the next question is… what is it?


“Aliens Made Me Stalk Her”

Tuesday, March 29th, 2011

Dude manages to squeeze in twitter stalking, the Mothman, telepathy, extra terrestrials, UFOs, alien mind control, the downside of the “alien defense angle” in the court system, and the apparent uselessness of psychotropic drugs on “alien mind control” into 3 minutes and 6 seconds.


Did The Supermoon Straight Cold Bust An Otherwise Stealthy UFO?

Thursday, March 24th, 2011

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As reported on UFO Casebook, a Louisiana star gazer looking to get some shots of the recent Supermoon might have snapped a pic or two of an unsuspecting space craft not used to being visible in regular moonlight.

The object apparently held perfectly still while the entirety of the photographers family took turns locating it with the camera.

[UFO Casebook]

Russian Flight Controllers Claim Aliens Use Cat-Like Language

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

mioaw-mioaw all the time

Russian air traffic controllers in Yakutsk, Siberia claim they were buzzed by a high-speed UFO with a female sounding alien who spoke in an strange cat-like language. ‘I kept hearing some female voice, as if a woman was saying mioaw-mioaw all the time,’ he told the pilot of a passing Aeroflot flight. The video below is in Russian, but is reportedly of air traffic controllers discussing the incident.

[Ghost Theory via Daily Mail]