Archive for the ‘Walk It Off’ Category

Noob Hypnotist’s Show Goes Wrong

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

Like a padawan who just learned about the force, 20 year-old newbie hypnotist, Maxime Nadeau was hired to put on a year-end show for the all-girl College du Sacre-Coeur in Sherbooke, Quebec.

People were having a great time, the show went well, everyone enjoyed the demonstrations of making fools out of half-asleep friends, show ends and everyone leaves…

Except for the girls apparently who were still in some kind of trance-like state.

According to witnesses, several girls who’d been sitting at nearby tables watching the show had also been ‘put under’, had their heads lying on their tables and seemed a little out of it.

One girl seemed to be in a trance-like state for five hours when the 20 year-old hypnotist decided to call his mentor who lived about an hour away.

Some girls were complaining of nausea and headaches. One girl even claimed it was like an out-of-body experience.

Nadeau’s mentor Richard Whitebread, showed up to wake the girls from their hypnotic state.

In an excerpt from one article, we learn why the girls went into such a deep trance (probably the best reason ever and will become a great blurb for future shows):

“After travelling for one hour, Whitbread used a stern voice to awaken the girls, blaming his trainee’s good looks for the students’ hypnotic states.”

All of the thirteen girls affected by Nadeau’s good looks and his show were brought out of their stupors and returned to normal. School principal Daniel Leveille told reporters:
“We also wish to gather all relevant information before talking to the media about this unfortunate event which, fortunately, did not leave any consequences.’

Next time, Principal Leveille? Just hire an ugly hypnotist and everything’ll be just fine.

[Global News]

Pine Trees, Calls To Satan, Salesman: 10 Sure Fire Olde Tyme Wart Cures

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Walk it Off – an abridged compendium of ye olde folk remedies and archaic antidotes culled from UCLA’s Archive of American Folk Medicine

skitched-20100420-145227.jpgToday’s ailment: WARTS

Old MacDonald had a Wart Fetish

You will need: 1 Farmer

Instructions: Have farmer rub wart with his/her rough, expert hand

Note: Creepy

Cat’s Eye (Not the Stephen King Movie) and Stump Water (Not the Southern Porn Star)

You will need: 1 Cat’s Eye; Stump Water

Instructions: Rub cat’s eye in stump water; Place cat’s eye against wart; Repeat until wart drops off

Tony Roma’s Black Magic Special

You will need: 1 Freshly Cut Steak

Instructions: Hold steak on wart; Spin entire body three times; Tell the wart to leave

Note: I would recommend using a Porterhouse. They contain more tenderloin than your standard T-Bone, and go great with a 2005 Taupenot-Merme Gevrey-Chambertin.

The Savvy Entrepreneur

You will need: A Quicksilver Tongue; Probably Some Sort of Printed Warranty

Instructions: Sell wart to someone

Note: Try farmers. They like warts. You know… like “like” like them…

I Think Kitt Complained About This On “Knight Rider”

You will need: 1 Can; 24 Pebbles; 1 Road

Instructions: Place pebbles in can; Put can in middle of road; Wart will heal five days after first car runs over can

Note: I might be thinking of Air Wolf complaining about the UTI cure where you throw potatoes at helicopters

This’ll Piss Off Vampires AND Loraxes

You will need: 1 Knife; Non-essential Pine Tree

Instructions: Cut the shape of cross into wart; Cut the shape of cross into pine tree; Never return to tree.


You will need: 1 Cemetery; Unfaltering Allegiance to Dark Lord

Instructions: Visit fresh grave; Call on Satan to remove wart

Note: If he’s unsuccessful in removing your wart, you get a free Satan t-shirt. Last year’s featured a picture of Satan.

If You Know What This Means, You’re Probably Already Doing It

You will need: The Yellow Stuff that Comes Out of a Crushed Fly’s Stomach

Instructions: Rub yellow stuff on wart

Covert Cheese Funeral

You will need: 1 Piece of Cheese; 1 Accomplice

Instructions: Rub wart with cheese; Have accomplice secretly bury cheese


…At Least People Will Forget About Your Horrible Wart

You will need: A Powerful Voice

Instructions: Howl at moon; Politely answer all nice policeman’s questions