Brian gives sensible, rational parenting advice totally forgetting what podcast he’s on.

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Something is in the walls
Travis Lake photograph
Underwater Antarctic super-villain team up

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Andrew tells the story of his father’s encounter with a mermaid. No really. Well, kind of sort of. President Bri and team plan to rob a third world country of its national treasures.

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The trio discuss how polite you should be at a dinner part that goes horrifically awry. They then offer some practical advice in dealing with an impending mole people invasion.

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Blurbtastic!

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Kidnapped by scientists who dress like Nazis, but aren’t actually Nazis, the trio is pushed to try a radical new procedure that would make them temporarily gay. With the life of a young child on the line, they have to confront their own concept of sexuality and identity and make a potentially life changing choice and end up offending just about everyone. Then it gets kind of boring, but there’s a twist ending and a guy with mutant feet.

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Special guest Dr. Karen Stollznow helps the gang plan a heist for a sacred Yeti paw. Brian and Justin get enormous glee from watching Andrew get corrected. The ethics of eating canned whale meat is debated. We also find out how ready and willing we are to be corrupted by the dark side.

Then a super secret plan (shhhh!) is hatched to get prominent skeptics tripped out on psychoactives so we can see what happens when they have their own double rainbow experience.

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Dr. Karen Stollznow’s website

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Andrew, Brian and Justin lay out their brilliant plan for escaping the evil clutches of alien overlords. They then realize how easily a famous psychological experiment could have gone horribly wrong if the three of them had been selected. Brian also shares with the audience his disturbing camouflage technique. Plans for a mission to an Indian massacre are discussed.

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Justin Robert Young recounts his harrowing ordeal in the Forest with a Million Eyes. Brian, Andrew and Justin then step into the treacherous mental playground of a loyal listener and reveal their most deep-seated primal motivations when they are faced with surviving in a post-Zombie Apocalypse. One of them will become a ravenous fiend roving the ruins of civilization in search of fresh brains. Another will unleash his inner amoral self and cackle in delight as the world burns and search out female survivors to indulge his earthly desires. The final member of the trio will rise above tragedy and seek out vengeance for the horrific fate the befell is family and adopt a heroic new identity, and another, and another.

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Find out which of the three used to wear a Spider-Man costume under his clothes and which ones just wore ladies underwear. Listen to them describe their plans to capture a sea beast, fight alligators and find proof of Son of Hogzilla. Also, it becomes painfully obvious that when Justin, Brian and Andrew are a dying alien civilization’s last chance for survival, it’s better to die screaming in the night then hope to see another tomorrow.

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Everyday this week… Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Survival Stories ever told.

What happens nine months after that stick bug from Disney/Pixar’s Bug’s Life and Dumbo get a little frisky one night at a Disney holiday party?

You get Ming Ming. The six-year-old Chinese boy was left alone sleeping in his apartment while his grandfather ran an “errand.” (I’m going to avoid making an opium den joke here.) Unfortunately, the poor kid woke up, freaked out and started wandering the apartment screaming for granddad. With no sign of him inside he wandered out onto the safety grate outside the window where the skinny little rascal promptly fell between two bars 8-stories to his certain death.

This is one of those moments where, if this were a movie, the camera would tilt downward following the trajectory of his death dive only to realize that halfway down he somehow wasn’t in frame anymore, and when the camera quickly tilts back up we’d all be met with the image of a screaming six-year-old boy hanging 80 feet in the air by…his ears.

Yes. His ears. (See, now the stick bug/Dumbo line doesn’t seem so silly after all, does it?)

Eventually firemen were able to force the bars apart and pull the little boy back into the apartment without either dropping him to his death or suffocating him.

No word on whether or not he still had the magic feather in his possession.

Your thoughts? I guess if you had to be dangling 8 stories off the ground by a body part it could be worse, right? Any thoughts on jokes I may have left out? Do you have a better survival story you’ve found lurking around the internets?

Wenseslao Moguel is the guy you never want to run into at a cocktail party…and not just because of his hideous, gag inducing face. In fact, he plays a prominent part in my worst nightmare, if not directly, then at least in spirit.

Imagine if you will: you’re regaling the audience at large with your adventurous tales of daring do. You have their full attention with the story about your time spent in Nevada racing ostriches, you weave a tale of wonder with your hang gliding exploits, finally you have their complete admiration as you outline you time spent living on the streets and on other people’s couches as you wander the country without any meaningful possessions like some sort of extremely selfish Kane. But then, it happens.

Wenseslao Moguel steps slowly out from the shadows letting light fall ever so gently on his disfigured face. Somehow, everyone realizes for the first time that he’s in the room and his mere visage brings the laughter and carousing down to a muted hush. He whispers just one sentence.

“I was shot nine times by a firing squad, and once more in the face to ensure my death.”

HOW AM I (er…I mean…ARE YOU) SUPPOSED TO TOP THAT STORY?!?1?!

Allow me to set the stage. The year: 1915. The verdict: guilty. The revolution: Mexican.

Wenseslao (or Wenny as the kids in the school yard presumably called him) is sentenced to death without trial for his role as a soldier in the revolution. After being shot repeatedly he manages to wait until his executioners leave and somehow makes his way to safety and treatment. (I can only assume he ran across the Mexican wildernesses equivalent of Dr. McDreamy’s skilled surgical hands.)

Wenny then went on to live a long and full life touring with the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum. Oh, and he had a song written about him.

Man, I hope he’s never at the same party as me.

What do you think? Do you have a story that can steal this survivor’s thunder? What four survival stories could possibly be weirder than this one?

Weird Things Live: Hunting the Night Creeper from Andrew Mayne on Vimeo.

Last Monday night in front of a live internet audience we set out to solve the mystery of the Night Creeper. Ghost? Frogman? Or something else? Although we’re pretty sure we figured it out, we haven’t definitively proved our theory. The mystery continues…

Running time 55 minutes.

Check out our photos of the scene on Flickr.

Scientists want to drill deep into Antarctic ice to find life forms that haven’t been exposed to the environment in millions of years. Kurt Russell is not amused.

[Science Daily]