In this column, we look at two pop-cultural interpretations of ubiquitous Weird legends as portrayed by two narrative television programs… like how That ‘70s Show’s Donna and CSI: Miami’s Horatio Crane were both created by their respective networks in order to fulfill SAG-regulated ginger nut quotas. But with monsters. Enjoy.

Reaper, Episode 1×03, “All Mine”
AND
X-Files, Episode 9×05, “Lord of the Flies”

Fleas provide a wily vector for the bubonic plague and wipe out a third of the world’s population.

Killer bees buzz up against America’s borders, causing a prolonged nationwide freakout.

All kinds of weird bugs terrify Willie Scott and Indiana Jones almost dies.

Spread out across every continent and driven by a simplistic nervous system that puppeteers their segmented bodies towards only the most primal satisfactions, insects have alternately fascinated and terrified humans since the first time some blundering caveman saw a beehive and went all My Girl on it. Their ubiquity and instinctual persistence postures them as an ever-moving imagined boundary between nature and civilization that, for every two steps it’s forced back by poisons and zappers, advances one step forward into kitchens and bedrooms. Insects have proved such an enduring fixture of human experience that they’ve infested language itself, swarming the vernacular with a bevy of bug-related clichés, euphemisms and metaphors, ranging from “the birds and the bees” to “mad as a hornet” to “patience, young grasshopper.” It’s no surprise, then, that these perceived pests, and the swarm of associations they evoke, occupy their own cavernous burrow in the pantheon of pop culture, eating their way into the very foundation of American narrative.

Even beyond their aforementioned presence in spoken rhetoric, insects’ universality and relative biological simplicity allow them to play the cipher for a variety of basic human circumstances, relationships and emotions. For instance, both the episodes examined in today’s column employ bugs in exploring different dimensions of love, from the ardor and stewardship that shape and fortify it, to the gnawing jealousy and guilt that can hollow it out from the inside. One episode uses the fundamental disgust that bugs can instill to channel the gross desperation and jealousy that the jilting wake of lust- gone-awry can inflict, while the other, in a failed attempt to portray a good kid gone bad in the name of both love and a genetic disease, ends up utilizing the simple, beautiful biology of insects as a microscope through which to examine the exact point of impact in a collision between feelings and actions.

Read the rest of this entry »

A lake isn’t a lake without a lake monster. Or, so it would seem. With more than 250 serpentine leviathans of varying size and ferocity trolling the dark reefs and hidden inlets of lakes worldwide, these arcane monstrosities are to inland bodies of standing water what Zagat ratings are to classy restaurants, providing immediate validation by way of an instantly identifiable symbol – a dark, long-necked silhouette asserting a mysterious vigilance in the dying warmth of deep orange light squeezed from a setting sun.

Sometimes more mascots than monsters, these aquatic behemoths are often as much unwitting chamber of commerce employees as they are enduring mysteries of cryptozoology. While Nessie, the stalwart cover girl of lake monster commercialization, may be the most ubiquitous of these creatures, North America has its own heavy-weight lacusine cryptid, with an equally cloying nickname – Champ.

For a supposed Mezozoic-era reptile hidden deep within the black, icy craw of Lake Champlain, Champ has become a surprisingly active community member in the various cities and towns that hug the shores surrounding the 125-mile-long body of water. His solemn reptilian visage adorns a variety of commercial signage, his wooden doppelganger smiles confidently from the courthouse lawn in Port Henry, New York, and his mere existence is lauded via fly balls and grounders by the Vermont Lake Monsters, Vermont’s only minor league baseball affiliate. Since the first reported sighting in the early 1870s, everyone from research scientists to P.T. Barnum have felt the scaly allure of this North American legend. As the world amasses an ever-growing role call of lake monsters to shout from dockside tea-shirt stands and minor league baseball stadiums, it seems appropriate to take one such monster, America’s own Champ, and look at the lake, legends and lives that, in just the right light and from enough of a distance, almost look like a giant, aquatic serpent posed stoically against the horizon.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’re going a little different this week for our Weirdest Thing in the World hunt and demanding that you send us the oddest haunted structures on the planet. Houses, saloons, trailer parks, they’re all fair game.

The rules are:

– You must have a picture or official illustration.
– Make sure you include a brief background on why it’s so odd.

Your baseline above is the Loveland Castle, as discussed in this week’s monster column by Matt Finley. This ornate structure was constructed by a wealthy Ohio magnate who imported countless artifacts from Europe to decorate his new home. Locals believed that many served as vessels for evil spirits who continue to haunt the countryside.

Email all submissions to JustinRobertYoung@Gmail. I’ll see you kids in the Weird Things TinyChat room at 5:30 p.m. EST where we will hash out the ultimate champion.

The Indian Flying Fox Bat has the largest recorded wingspan in the world, sometimes stretching up to two meters. It was selected as the Weirdest Thing In The Sky during our Tinychat competition last week. Stay tuned for this week’s category.

Thanks to everyone for playing!

Click AFTER THE JUMP for a video of it eating some fruit at the Singapore zoo.

Read the rest of this entry »

We are bumping up this week’s Weirdest Thing in the World from Friday to Thursday since we have previously scheduled travel plans tomorrow at the normal time. So… here is your mission. Find me the weirdest creature on this planet that flies.

Rules:

– No cryptids
– It can be of any era, so dinosaurs are in play
– If the creature is no longer alive, the illustration has to be from some kind of official source. So no album covers of some metal band with a badass terradactyl gripping a busty maiden whilst souring over a war torn countryside

Email all submissions to JustinRobertYoung@Gmail. I’ll see you kids in the Weird Things TinyChat room at 5:30 p.m. EST where we will hash out the ultimate champion.

Our baseline is going to be this crazy looking bat, find me something weirder.

Yet another reason why M. Night Shyamalan is full of it.

According to recently declassified Russian documents, most encounters with alien craft happen near oceans and lakes. This reported by the Svobodnaya Pressa news website.

“Fifty percent of UFO encounters are connected with oceans. Fifteen more – with lakes. So UFOs tend to stick to the water,” he said.

On one occasion a nuclear submarine, which was on a combat mission in the Pacific Ocean, detected six unknown objects. After the crew failed to leave behind their pursuers by maneuvering, the captain ordered to surface. The objects followed suit, took to the air, and flew away.

In the 2000 Shyamalan film Signs, an alien invasion is thwarted by a Pennsylvania farm family who realizes the creature’s only weakness is exposure to water. We await further research to test other M. Night theories including the deadliness of temperamental trees and how to react if you find Bryce Dallas Howard in your pool.

It’s the Bo Duke of pork.

Some call it The Cove Pig, the politically minded refer to it as Freedom Pig for it’s uncanny ability to throw off the shackles of an oppressive government and run wild.

The New York Times chronicles the wild adventures of an officially unnamed feral pig, currently clomping through the backwoods of Panama City, FL. Although it’s been spotted many times and even after taken a taser and four tranquilizer darts during one capture attempt last week, the porky rascal continues to steal into the Sunshine State summer with supernatural stamina.

Local paper The News Herald is even keeping a Google Map for reported sightings.

Cove Pig’s elusive nature has earned it a local celebrity with many Northern Florida residents rooting for it to continue evading police capture, which it has successfully for five months and counting. The snap you see to the right are shirts being sold at a local rest stop.

We’re going to keep you up to date on the hunt for this clearly gifted swine.

Interim Editor Justin Robert Young interviews the elusive Sasquatch in this short clip. Head to LivingSasquatch.com to make your own video.

Thanks to John Houdi for the tip.

Thank you to everyone (including Brett “Amtrekker” Rounsaville) who visited our Weird Things deliberation chamber today to hash out our first ever Weirdest Thing In The World competition. Arising victorious was the Dumbo Octopus, who captured our imaginations and stole our hearts with his Peep-like demeanor and what looks to be a tiny nubbin for a nose.

Please subscribe to WeirdThingsCom on Twitter for more fun events as well as the announcement for next week’s Weirdest Thing In The World.

And this guy, sent in by Brian Brushwood is in the lead for the crown!

Come join us at TinyChat.com/WeirdThings!

As this site continues to grow, I’ve come to realize that the few readers we have are incredibly passionate about this brand of oddity. So in that vein I introduce a new reoccurring Friday feature, The Weirdest Thing In The World.

The game is simple, each week I will name a category and you folks have to find me weirder examples of said topic. For example, if the category was “self-modified faces” we might start with a picture of Mike Tyson’s face tattoo which would be trumped by Cat Man and so it goes until we have crowned a winner.

The final decision will be made in our Weird Things TinyChat room at 5 p.m. EST. So basically as soon as you’ve finished your work for the day just click over and see the Weirdest Thing In The World to start your weekend!

The first installment of this series will be… Sea Creatures. The only rules are that the specimens have to be real, so no cryptids. The picture above of a Abdopus abaculus is where the bar is set. Find me something weirder… I dare you.

Send all photos to JustinRobertYoung@Gmail. Good hunting and see you at 5 p.m. EST!

Pretty much and open and shut case. Man bikes home from concert, gets thrown from bike by mysterious forces, remembers he’s made some terrible jokes about the recently deceased King of Pop, blames Michael Jackson’s ghost for scraping up his face.

I had already been joking that MJ’s ghost pushed me off my bike in retaliation. In lieu of of other convincing causes I’m going with that one. Maybe I will learn some humility from this, seeing how now I can barely go out in public without a mask for a while. There may be something to the old saying “always speak well of the dead.” Even if it is Wacko Jacko!

The World Tour rolls on!

In 1837, something dark and quick began hunting women on the streets of London, pouncing upon them from the shadows and going to work on their clothes with razor talons and flaming breath, only to disappear seconds later, leaping silently over impossibly high hedges and rooftops, leaving behind only the shrill, hollow ghost of maniacal laughter and, of course, a panicked victim.

Descriptions of Spring Heeled Jack varied over the 65 years that he laid siege to London’s gas lit back alleys and dark urban bowers, but early witnesses (somewhat) consistently agree that he sported large pointed ears, an equally pointy nose, bulging eyes, sharp claws, the ability to breathe fire and a penchant for agile escapes via inhumanly powerful jumps (hence his media-coined moniker).

John Thomas Haines’ 1840 play, Spring-Heeled Jack, the Terror of London, marked the first official appearance of Jack in a popular entertainment (he had already become a staple of various Punch and Judy street puppet shows), which was followed by a rash of both sightings and corresponding sensationalized fictionalizations throughout the 1840s and ‘50s. In the name of both topicality and word economy, however, we aim to focus on the years prior to Jack’s assimilation into the everyday pop cultural dialogue of Victorian England.

Accepting, as many experts do, that the initial attacks between 1837 and 1838 were perpetrated by a still-anonymous (though one Henry de La Poer Beresford, dubbed “The Mad Marquess,” is a prime suspect) malicious, costumed prankster, and noting that the perpetrator’s image and misdeeds became the stuff of pop culture legend, the question must be posed: What overriding cultural factors contributed the specific physical attributes that the misogynistic hoaxer built into his monster? In short, why was a quick-footed, fire-breathing demon the obvious avatar for blind dread and mass hysteria in 19th century London?

Read the rest of this entry »

The Apollo 11 moon landing happened 40 years ago toady, or as 6% of the country believe according to a new survey, one of the greatest hoaxes ever perpetrated hoodwinked the world at large.

Here are five videos that help document the intervening four decades dotted with controversy, analysis, British people and Buzz Aldrin’s devastating right cross.

Read the rest of this entry »

After much speculation the bio blob spotting floating off the coast of Alaska has been identified as common marine algae.

Here’s the official wording:

“We got the results back from the lab today,” said Ed Meggert of the Alaska Department of Environmental Conservation in Fairbanks on Thursday. “It was marine algae.”

Miles of the thick, dark gunk had been spotted floating between Barrow and Wainwright, prompting North Slope Borough officials and the Coast Guard to investigate last week. A sample was sent to a DEC lab in Anchorage, where workers looked at it under a microscope and declared it some kind of simple plant — an algae, Meggert said.

Everyone consult your office pool and notify the winners to collect from the treasurer.

Robots will one day, systematically, dismantle humanity. Our cries for mercy falling on the literal tin ears of our vengeful creations. But until that time, they’ll settle for creeping us the hell out.

Join us and we take a walk through a rogue’s gallery of the creepiest robots on The Internet via this handy YouTube playlist. To toggle through the videos, please utilize the arrows on either side of the picture.

CLICK AFTER THE JUMP for the full tour. Read the rest of this entry »