After somebody spotted what they thought was an escaped tiger through a camera zoom lens near a country club, police in Hampshire scrambled a helicopter equipped with thermal imaging and a tranquilizer take down team from the local zoo. It was only after the downdraft of the helicopter blew the tiger over that everybody realized that it was just a toy. Whoops. Police are treating the incident as lost property and looking for the owner.

Golfers at County Golf Club were also escorted from the course and Saturday’s cricket game between Hampshire Academy and South Wilts was suspended for about half an hour.

Tony Middleton, Hampshire Cricket Academy director, added: “Rumours came round that there was a tiger on the golf course and we just carried on playing until a policeman came over and told us to clear the area.

“I assumed there was [a tiger] with everything that was going on, but we felt quite safe here.”

[BBC via Gizmodo]

Florida is where the magic happens. Also, don’t turn your back on the wildlife.

[Jalopnik]

Ollie Frisk and  four of his friends were skiing in the backcountry at the Härjedalen ski resort, located in northern Sweden, when Ollie unknowingly skied over a bear den which collapsed and sent him sprawling into the bear that was living there. The bear woke up and mauled Ollie, but he survived to tell the tale.

“But Ollie didn’t die. Instead, he says, he quit struggling as he accepted the inevitability of his fate, and when he did so, the bear simply stopped attacking him. A few moments later she wandered out of the lair, where Ollie’s friends made loud noises to scare her away. They then helped Frisk from the den, and back down the hill to safety.”

[Gadling]

Post-Katrina, there is only one gang that rules the once-flooded streets of this suffering city. You can hear their affiliation calls bounce off the battered houses through all hours of the night:

Cluck. Cluck.

Chickens rule this town! Feral ones that don’t scare from humans no more. So far they haven’t become violent. So far.

[NOLA]

As the family enjoyed their time in the outdoors, a 200-pound spotted eagle ray suddenly leapt out of the water and into the boat, landing right on top of Jenny.  The animal was so large and heavy, her family couldn’t get it off of her.

Luckily, a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission boat was nearby and heard the family’s screaming and came to the rescue.  Miraculously, neither Jenny or the ray seemed worse for wear after the four-minute encounter.

“[It] just latched on to my shoulder, and I went back and it’s a gray squirrel,” victim Kevin McDonald told the TV station.

McDonald was shoveling snow outside his home when the sneak attack began. “He was holding on. He wouldn’t let go. I was finally able to get him off, and as soon as I got him off, he just jumped right at me again.”

You wake up one morning and your Upstate New York house is covered in a thick yellow goo. What’s more? The same has happened to your neighbors.

Intitial theories pinned the blame on a passing aircraft discharging the foul spread all over the unsuspecting property below. However, FAA officials rule that possibility out after checking flight patterns.

The new theory, now backed up by the Lab of Ornithology at Cornell? Birds got into some discarded McDonald’s fries and nature took care of the rest.

‘We received a call this morning from a woman who owns a house on the same street, Washington Highway. She gave us her explanation because it happened to her last year,’ Lisa Kistner, a spokesman for the Amherst Town Supervisor’s Office, told ABC.

‘She said it’s actually because the seagulls eat fast food at McDonald’s, which upsets their digestive tract,’ Ms Kistner explained.

The seagulls were eating leftover French fries out of paper bags discarded in the parking lots, the woman apparently claimed.

And, Ms Kistner said, as soon as the woman convinced fast food restaurants to clean up the rubbish in their parking lots, she no longer had that problem.

The Cornell lab confirms it’s likely bird droppings but pin the blame on a migrating species entitled the European Starling.

Those are some angry birds.

[Daily Mail]

They are coming. They don’t like being filmed. They are the otters who will one day govern Boca Raton, FL.

[Sun-Sentinel]

Andrew uses the unicorn deception to trick Brian and Justin into accompanying him on the adventure of a lifetime where Yeti’s and Bears engage in mortal combat.

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Links:
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Recommendations:

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Holy crap! That is all.

[Nat Geo]

Apparently some small monkeys are freaked the freak out by flying squirrels. Researches have noticed that the otherwise even-keeled creatures lose their s@#$ when they see one.

When Japanese giant flying squirrels glided over to a tree in the monkeys’ vicinity, adults and adolescent macaques started hollering at it threateningly, the researchers report. Young macaques screamed and mothers scooped up their infants, while adults and high-ranking males in particular went and physically harassed the offending squirrel.

Onishi said other researchers have observed macaques responding in a similarly aggressive manner to birds that prey on the monkeys, such as the golden eagle and mountain hawk eagle. These raptors glide and swoop much like the flying squirrels.

Even when the monkeys climb a tree to get a better look at these air-borne rodents they still start hootin’ and hollerin’. Can you blame them?

[Live Science]

And on Shark Week no less! In the interest of fair comment the YouTube description says that fatal shot was fired because the injured shark was going to be eaten anyhow, so this was a mercy killing.

Still… OMFG! This completely changes how I think about Jason Mraz…

[YouTube via Deadspin]

Remember the 1995 Sandra Bullock romantic comedy While You Were Sleeping? This story is nothing like that.

Paramedics in Vienna had a shock when they answered a call – and found a man “eaten alive” by maggots.

Ambulance crew were called out yesterday (Tues) after a woman rang to say her elderly partner was having breathing difficulties.

But when they turned up they found the man’s corpse covered in maggots.

Police spokesman Roman Hahslinger said today the 34-year-old woman had been arrested to clarify the background of the man’s death.

“She lived with the 61-year-old man for more than 10 years in Brigittenau district,” he explained, adding that the man had been bedridden and partially paralysed after a stroke some years ago.

Remember the Wham! song “Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go)”? In light of this, they should probably tack on “…Or If I Am Being Eaten Alive By Maggots”.

Thanks to Weird Things writer Darcy for passing this along.

[Australian Times]

[CNN]

Where does, “Mommy, an alligator bit my hand off” rank in the Top 100 Calls You Never Want To Make?

[CNN]

So you’re a cute little monkey, scampering about the Amazon. For the sake of this discussion, your name is Joe. All of a sudden you hear someone yell, “Hey Joe! Nice haircut!” You look around, but don’t see anyone. What anonymous stranger is shouting compliments through the thick underbrush of the rain forest? Do they really like my haircut, or was it one of those backhanded compliments?

Lost in thought you make a left through a bush only to find yourself face to face with a gigantic jungle cat. You’re paralyzed with fear. The cat repeats his haircut compliment in what you now realize is just an uncanny monkey impression.

“By the way,” Jungle Cat purrs in his natural brogue. “Your hair makes your face look fat.”

And with that, you’re devoured. Victim of a deadly impression.

[Live Science]