Eat Your Heart Out [Weirdest Murders]

Posted by on July 1st, 2010

Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Murders ever committed.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the phrase, “Eat your heart out…”. As in, “Eat your heart out Google, there’s a new iPhone in town,” or “Eat your heart out Thierry, I just ate your lung.”

Right, well…something like that.

Want more explanation? I thought you’d never ask.

In 2007, Nicolas Cocaign’s lawyer TRIED to explain that the French attempted rapist was crazy. He TRIED to get the dude shipped to a psych ward. Unfortunately, when the prison officials refused, it was up to Cocaign to provide the actual proof.

That’s where Cocaign’s cellmate, Thierry Baudry, comes in…or exits rather. After stabbing Baudry repeatedly in the chest with a pair of scissors Cocaign finished him off by suffocating him with a plastic bag. (Why a crazy rapist had access to a pair of scissors and a plastic bag I leave up to you to try to figure out.)

Apparently satisfied with his attempt to prove his insanity Cocaign then set out to prove that he also had no anatomical knowledge whatsoever.

In an effort to absorb Baudry’s soul by eating his heart, our buddy Cocaign, managed instead to eat a lung AND two chest muscles. (I like to think that after finishing the lung he looked down, saw another one and with a quiet sigh, said to himself, “crap.” Before resigning himself to chowing down on the more centrally located albeit no more heart-shaped chest muscles.)

Fun fact: At his subsequent murder trial the lead juror announced the verdict by standing up and singing:

He’s a plight,

He’s a plight,

He’s a plight,


(Shoot. I promised myself no more Eric Clapton jokes.)

Your thoughts? Have any other weird cannibal/murder stories? (Or Eric Clapton jokes?)

5 Responses to “Eat Your Heart Out [Weirdest Murders]”

  1. Prettyjumbles Says:

    lungs are kinda big, aren't they? dude must've been hungry.

  2. Brett Rounsaville Says:

    I might also point out…not remotely heart-shaped. 🙂

  3. Prettyjumbles Says:

    well, if you're digging into someone's chest with scissors and your hands, it probably all looks red and muscley?
    ew, I keep imagining that lungs would be like… spongy… ewwwww

  4. Brett Rounsaville Says:

    I like the sound of that:

    “Oh, the horror! What have you done?! What did you eat?”

    “Um…I ate the red bits…”

  5. Chyvaughn74 Says:

    Epic….Love this piece!!