Always Sunny in the Dark Ages [Weirdest Disasters]

Posted by on July 21st, 2010

Everyday this weekā€¦Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Disasters ever to strike down man or beast.

Monday and Tuesday we talked with the Ghost of Disasters Past, today we’re going to have words with the Ghost of Disasters Future. Strap in folks, it’s going to be a dickens of a ride.

NASA says come 2013 the sun will be “waking up from a deep slumber,” resulting in crazy solar storms. How crazy? 20 times the economic damage of Hurricane Katrina crazy! (Why the sun has been such a lazy narcoleptic hydrogen ball for the past many millennia was not discussed.)

The point is this: It is entirely possible that the resulting solar flares could disable satellites, explode transformers and cause widespread EMP related power outages. (In other words, it could be the catalyst for…BUM BUM BAAAA, The Night of a Million Conceptions!)

(Anti-baby) policymakers, researchers, legislators and reporters have gathered in Washington DC to share ideas about space weather and how to mitigate the coming disaster for the last 4 years in a row. That means AT LEAST 96 hours has been dedicated to solving this crisis, so everything should be fine everyone. Just go on about buying your soon-to-be-bricked-by-solar-radiation Apple products and stop trying to ruin the economy with your money-saving antics.

Seriously though, how much would it suck to be tossed back into the dark ages by the sun. (Someone with a lesser grasp of English, like say, Alanis Morissette, might even call that ironic.) All I have to say is, NASA better figure this one out. I don’t want to have to learn how to plow a field or ride a horse…and I sure as heck don’t like the sound of the word fiefdom.

What do you think? How would you handle life without electronics? Are you a hole-up-in-a-bunker kind of person or an organic gardener/Ted Nuggent fan?

4 Responses to “Always Sunny in the Dark Ages [Weirdest Disasters]”

  1. alexander k Says:

    I'm pretty sure that that the sun bringing the earth into a new dark age does fall under the umbrella of irony. The source of light bringing darkness. Eh? Eh?

  2. Andrew Mayne Says:

    It's only going to be a Dark Age if we follow the advice of the alarmists.

  3. Brett Rounsaville Says:

    Okay, I'll accept that. But seriously, no bonus points for the Dickens pun?

  4. Brett Rounsaville Says:

    Just because I told you there was no room in my bunker for you, you have to start labeling me an alarmist?!