Fans of The Walking Dead know that if you cover yourself in the leftovers of friends, neighbors and family, zombies will just stroll right on by you…until it begins to rain and things go to hell real fast.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if someone would just come up with a scented…oh wait…it’s happened..

Demeter Fragrances has added two new perfumes to their line-up:

‘Zombie for Him’ and ‘Zombie for Her’.

Now there’s no need to don protective wear and hack away for hours when only a butter knife is available in order to smother yourself with the innards of a hapless stranger…or a not quite zombie-apocalypse-prepped friend.

‘Zombie for Him’ is described thusly:

Think forest floor. Zombie for Him is a combination of dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss and earth. A definite must-have for any Man’s scent collection.

‘Zombie for Her’ is:

A slightly lighter version of the Men’s fragrance with a touch of Dregs from the bottom of the wine barrel for that feminine touch.

Now you can protect anyone in an instant by just spritzing them and blending in socially amongst the walking dead…

Until it suddenly rains again.

[DesignTaxi]

BAM!

You’re chillin’ at home in front of the television.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

You hear some kind of resonating thud from outside. You assume it’s thunder or a neighbor and his anvil.

BAM!

You’re about to be REAL wrong!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

You hear this crazy sound coming from your roof so you go to investigate.

What do you find?

Were you a resident of a small neighborhood in Florida (yep…the streak continues), you might’ve uttered a “Aww….Hell no!” at 21 year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni who would’ve been standing on your roof…marching around on it…naked…BAM!..BAM!…BAM!…

That’s what a resident witnessed upon investigating a loud, thundering sound outside…a naked guy bounding around on his roof.

Once Bruni was discovered as the cause of the disturbance and the jig was up, he fly-tackled the owner of the home who’d come outside to investigate the source of the noise.
After leaping from the roof and onto the homeowner, Bruni ran inside the house screaming. In what can only be described as a tantrum, Bruni ran to the large screen television in the living room and pulled it over onto the floor. Bruni then happened upon the family’s vacuum cleaner and, in the weirdest display of a five-year-old not getting the ice cream he’d wanted, Bruni emptied the vacuum cleaner’s contents back onto the floor it had apparently just cleaned. The homeowner’s wife, who was aware things were gettin’ a little crazy, fired three warning shots with a revolver as Bruni finished undoing what the vacuum had done. In a panic Bruni hit the floor…

He didn’t just hit the floor….that would’ve been too easy (and not quite worthy of being ‘Florida-weird’).

He began amorously rubbing himself against the floor.

Once he felt his relationship with the floor had reached its climax, Bruni ran into the handgun-sporting wife’s closet and rubbed her clothing all over his face.

Bruni continued acting like a raging Muppet until the homeowner that’d been fly-tackled was able to get a shotgun and keep Bruni cornered until deputies arrived and constrained him by finally nailing the guy with a taser.

Bruni is being charged with Criminal Mischief, Battery, Occupied Burglary and resisting without violence.

Authorities believe that Bruni had been taking some kind of drug at the time of the incident but aren’t sure what it may have been.

While they all try to find an answer to what Bruni may have been taking….we’ll just quietly gesture back to our posts during the ‘bath-salt-zombie’ craziness that took place early last year and wonder if it’s not quite over just yet.

Or is Bruni just an idiot who’s late to the game…

Poser.

[NBC2.Com]

We are pretty sure this picture from a trail camera in Luneberg County, VA is either not real or some kind of lighting trick. But also… HOLY SMOKES THAT’S A ZOMBIE! THE END IS NIGH!

Thanks to reader J Lowder Jr. for sending this along.

What’s that? You want a terrifying close up? Okie dokie!

Remember when eating bath-salts, slipping into a rabid zombie-like state, getting naked and chewing the faces off innocent pedestrians was kinda trendy and cool?

Apparently 20 year-old Richard Cimino Jr of Doylestown, Pennsylvania hasn’t been paying attention to the bath-salt fount of information that this blog is about such things.

State police responded to a call the other night from two women who reported an assault…an assault by?

We can hear all of you in a weird unison of unspoken nodding…’bath-salt zombie’.

According to early reports, Cimino pulled his car up behind a home early in the morning, stripped to his underwear and tried to break into the home. The resident at that home startled Cimino who fled to another home not far away and proceeded to break in to the second home. No one was home.

Cimino proceeded up to the second floor of the home and, like the erratic behavior exhibited by most of the ‘Bath-Salt Zombies’ we’ve seen so far, parkoured himself from the second-story window severely injuring his arms and legs when he slammed into the ground.

True to ‘Bath-Salt Zombie’ lore (which stretches back in time to the end of January of this year) Cimino got up and walked away while bleeding profusely.

Cimino then approached two women, who once again helped this whole incident slide into the typical ‘Bath-Salt Zombie’ profile when he jumped one of them and, “screaming like a wild animal”, began gnawing on the skull of one of the poor women.

Both women managed to escape Cimino, who police later found covered in blood acting delusional and confrontational.

After lunging at a state trooper and punching a medical technician, Cimino was tasered and taken to Geisinger Community Medical Center in Scranton.

Cimino is charged with two counts each of aggravated assault, criminal mischief, indecent exposure, three counts of burglary and several other charges.

At this time tests regarding what Cimino may have been hopped up on are still pending.

Anyone want to take a stab at what he may have been on? Anyone?

[Times-Tribune]

Grab your shovels, shotguns and a copy of Zombieland, kids…we’re just gettin’ started.

Here’s your cannibal/zombie update for the July 4th holiday:

United States – In Georgia, Karl Laventure consumes everyone’s favorite new synthetic brain-melter, bath salts. In a somewhat trendy move, he strips naked and begins running around and shouting. Only this time it’s not on a causeway…it’s a golf course. Laventure was running across a golf course, naked, twirling a golf club above his head and shouting to officers who attempted to stop him, “I’ma eat you. I’ll eat you! I don’t want to eat you but I will!” Laventure shrugged off pepper spray blasts and five tasers before the sixth taser brought him under control. Go acquaint yourself with just one taser to fully comprehend what that feels like. Seriously…SIX TASERS!

China – Racing to the top of the news chain, the Shanghai Daily blasts the front page with a story of a bus driver who drove his bus into an intersection and ended up blocking a woman’s vehicle. The bus driver jumps out of his bus and begins playing ‘Whack-a-Mole’ on her windshield with his fists. Terrified, the woman flees her car. Within seconds the bus driver reaches her, tosses her to the ground and begins chewing on her face. Several plastic surgeries will be needed to restore her face to ‘normal’.

Russia – Body parts begin turning up in a basement and floating down the Moscow river that lead authorities to Nikolai Shadrin. Police arrive at Shadrin’s apartment to find him calmly eating stew…a stew which consists of pieces of his friend, Ilya Yegorov. Shadrin is convicted when his fingerprints show up all over the small garden shovel he used to portion out Yegorov. Shadrin nails his conviction shut when he confesses he also dined on Yegorov’s liver like a certain literary cannibal we all know (except that Shadrin seems like the type to drink his chianti from a box).

It’s happening, kids. Play time and funny podcast scenarios are over. We’re suggesting taking a little prep time now to save yourself some heartache later because you forgot to snag some ammo for your boomstick and find that the only shovel-like object you own is a rubber spatula.

Trust WeirdThings to keep you informed on any more zombie-like activity. Have a safe holiday and watch your face.

You’re welcome.

Eventually it’s going to stop, right? The zombie-style incidents? They’ll come to an end before we all end up eating one another, won’t they?

Not any time soon, people.

Not only will they not stop but they’re already getting tired of the taste of tender human meat and are now moving on to man’s best friend.

Yeah. You read that last part correctly…a dog is the latest victim in the new drug-zombie phenomena.

Michael Terron Daniel, a 22-year-old Texan was high on the designer drug known as K2 (a synthetic cannabis) when he began chasing a neighbor…like a dog. Complete with barks and growls, Daniel then turned his attention to the family dog. What happened next was too graphic to really go into detail about according to reports. One witness reported that he was “ripping pieces of flesh away.” The dog was pronounced dead at the scene.

Waco officers (yes…THAT Waco) arrived to find a blood-covered porch and Daniel pleading for them to either fight him or use the stun gun in order “to help him get off his bad trip.”

Daniel has been charged with felony cruelty to a non-livestock animal.

[WPTV]

A decade from now when society looks back on what brought about the zombie apocalypse, Florida will probably be referred to as ground zero.

Once again, this time in Manatee County, Florida, law enforcement had to resort to using multiple tasers to subdue 26 year-old Charles Baker. Did you catch that part where we said “multiple tasers”? It took six bullets at close range to stop the “Causeway Cannibal” during the now infamous incident in Miami involving a bathsalt-induced face-chewing attacker of a homeless man.

Baker went to visit his kids who were staying with their grandparents.

Upon entering the house, Baker proceeded to throw furniture, scream and then, like other recent zombies, began removing his clothes.

Jeffrey Blake, owner of the house made an attempt to restrain Baker. Baker bit into Blake’s biceps.

Authorities believe Baker was under the influence of some kind of drug.

Anyone care to yell out what that might be? Anyone?

We’re hedging bath salts….

You probably are too.

[WPTV]

Zombie-like activity keeps rearing its ugly, face-biting head.

Once again the Sunshine State is reporting another flesh-biting incident. This one, however, is just a faux zombie inspired by the ‘Causeway Cannibal’ case in Miami from a couple of weeks ago.

After getting pulled over by police for running a red light while doing 60 mph in a 45 mph zone, 21 year-old Giovani Martinez then proceeded to fail a sobriety test given to him when officers noticed the open beer can and spilled beer on the front seat. He was arrested and take to the Naples jail where he became unresponsive.

Martinez was then transported to a nearby hospital where he suddenly went ballistic.

During the transition from the gurney to the hospital bed, Martinez began punching and kicking whoever was in range. After biting into the arm of one of the attending nurses and spitting the blood in their face, Martinez said that not only would he eat their faces like the guy in Miami but he’d also rape their wives.

More punches and flailing followed for the next twenty minutes before officers were finally able to get Martinez secured.

Our sad little ‘wannabe’ zombie attacker now faces three counts of felony battery and a DUI.

[WPTV Miami]

Every time we laugh about a zombie apocalypse another incident bites our lips right off our smiles and reminds us that we should probably stop laughing and start grabbing shovels.

This time around what began as a domestic disturbance call from neighbors turned into something that’s getting a little too familiar right now.

The ‘zombie’ in this case is 43-year-old Carl Jacquneaux. Todd Credeur, the victim who knew Jacquneaux, was outside working in his yard when we was attacked by Jacquneaux. Credeur stated that he was shocked when Jacquneaux bit him on the face. Credeur was able to spray wasp pray on Jacquneaux’s eyes and escape the attack.

Carl Jacquneaux wasn’t quite finished. He jumped into his car and headed to another friend’s where he that friend at knife-point and snagged a handgun.

That was when the law caught up with him.

While no one’s really sure what set Jacquneaux on his zombie-like attack on Credeur, one of the victim’s friends stated that he was, in fact, under the influence of something at the time.

Anyone want to venture to take you know, a big stab in the dark about what the victim’s friend claims he might’ve been taking?

Yep…

Bath salts.

[KATC News]

Remember how we were all joking a couple of days about that crazy incident that resembled a zombie attack in Miami?

Remember all the fun conversations about prepping your boomsticks and role-playing what you’d do if the zombie apocalypse actually took
place?

You may want to take some time to stop laughing and head to the garage for that boomstick.

It seems that even more news regarding a change in humanity’s diet is surfacing.

First up? Twenty-one-year-old Alexander Kinyua, who is currently in jail without bond, admitted to detectives that not only did he kill his roommate, but cut up his body with a knife and ingested the victim’s heart and part of his brain.

Yup…part of his brain. Ring any bells?

This comes on top of a report of man in New Jersey, who, upon being cornered by police after neighbors called saying that he was threatening to harm himself with a knife, disemboweled himself in front of officers and begin throwing pieces of intestines and bits of skin at them.

Depending on how far you want to post-date this trend in California, cage fighter Jarrod Wyatt was convicted for the murder of his training partner. After consuming hallucinogenic tea, Wyatt ripped his training partner’s heart and tongue out before tearing off a substantial amount of his face. A friend found him sitting in his apartment covered in blood with body parts scattered around the room.

On the other side of the globe, a man in Sweden catches his wife cheating on him and cuts off her lips…and then eats them.

Is the human race is suddenly developing a taste for its own or is it just our brains out looking for connections?

It’s like if someone mentioned that there sure were a lot of red cars on the road today… you’d look around for red cars and would tend to agree.

UPDATE: It’s been determined that the ‘Causeway Cannibal’ was not on any synthetic drugs or bath salts. He was high on marijuana.

Whether we’re ready for it or not, it seems like either someone could no longer contain the T-Virus or simply that the zombie apocalypse may actually have begun….in Miami.

During a gorgeous Sunday afternoon in South Florida, a patrolling road ranger rolled up on something that can only be described as ghoulish.

Two men seemed to be scuffling on the MacArthur Causeway. What he reportedly witnessed is the kind of scene that typically begins a zombie film or opens an episode of The Walking Dead.

One of the men was naked. That same naked man was also chewing the flesh from the face from the other man.

The officer, which has not been identified as of this posting, repeatedly asked the assailant to cease his attack to no avail. Witnesses report at least a half dozen shots were fired by the officer before the attacker stopped his assault.

At the time of this posting the attack is still being investigated. The Miami Herald, which had its own surveillance cameras on a nearby parking garage has submitted the footage to the police. The victim is currently in critical condition.

While most of the news stories coming out about the incident point toward some kind of drug trip gone ugly, putting together a couple shovels, a shotgun and getting in some jogging might not be such bad idea either.

You know…just in case.

[The Miami Herald]

The social hierarchy of a wasp is pretty rigid. But what if a snide little parasite made you a deal. You could live the life of a queen, no foraging for anyone but yourself, living off the fat of the land. All you have to do is become subservient to a macabre march of death that enslaves your brethren and propagates the evil parasite.

For many paper wasps through Europe, the answer is “yes, please!”

The parasite X. vesparum infects the wasp which withdraw from their previous social pattern and instinctively fly away to a meeting point with other parasites. It’s there the parasites mate, with the male hosts disposing of their wasp coats, leaving them to die. But the females remain inside the wasps, turning them into zombie queens which find food for themselves and fatten up while infecting other nests and plants with the parasite larva.

“After that, they start wandering among the colonies,” spreading their deadly larval load, said Manfredini. “They don’t lay eggs. They don’t build colonies. They’re completely anarchic.”

Get your zombie queen paper wasp costume ready for Halloween!

[Wired]

Is this a picture of a zombie? Notice the open casket on the bottom right.

Physical deformity? Extremely well-made student horror film? Has hell indeed become too full forcing the dead to walk the Earth?

Justin Robert Young recounts his harrowing ordeal in the Forest with a Million Eyes. Brian, Andrew and Justin then step into the treacherous mental playground of a loyal listener and reveal their most deep-seated primal motivations when they are faced with surviving in a post-Zombie Apocalypse. One of them will become a ravenous fiend roving the ruins of civilization in search of fresh brains. Another will unleash his inner amoral self and cackle in delight as the world burns and search out female survivors to indulge his earthly desires. The final member of the trio will rise above tragedy and seek out vengeance for the horrific fate the befell is family and adopt a heroic new identity, and another, and another.

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Just because cats are trying to take control of our brains doesn’t mean they need them. In this eerie footage we see a cat achieve 3 different gait patterns with NO BRAIN AT ALL! Scientists turned off the cats brain to study how much of an animal’s movement is controlled by thought and how much is simply a mechanical mechanism.

As if we needed another reason to fear cats…

Many suspect that cats are “up to something.” Turns out that something is serving as a transportation system for parasites that make humans do foolishly dangerous things.

Toxioplasma gondi is a parasite that generally moves through a cat’s digestive system that is passed on to mice through the cat’s feces. Once infected, the parasite burrows into the internal organs of the mouse causing cysts and eventually making the mouse abandon it’s natural instincts and do everything it can to get the cat to kill it. Once eaten, the parasite passes again through the cat and finds a new host.

Unfortunately, Toxioplasma gondi can also infect other mammals, such as humans. That’s right. These parasites are taking over our brains, driving us to dangerous behavior, and causing mental illness! And all because we keep them in our homes and clean up their waste.

In some populations over 60% of the population is infected. Pregnant women and people with immune diseases can have serious side effects to the parasite, but the rest of us only have to worry about randomly trying to kill ourselves.

Explains base jumping.

[The Economist]