WARNING: IF YOU’RE SQUEAMISH ABOUT ANIMALS EATING ANIMALS AND BEING CUT OPEN TO REVEAL EATEN ANIMALS? Netflix has My Little Pony and you should probably play some of those instead of the above video.

While we all worry about robots taking over our planet, snakes are quietly learning to fly, take over large land masses, moving in and nesting in our homes and now?

They’re swallowing man’s best friends…whole.

Locals in Cuiaba, Brazil spotted a ridiculously large snake with with a grotesquely distended stomach…so they investigated….and shot video of the ‘investigation’.

2ND WARNING: This video ain’t for the squeamish.

Everyone else? Hit that play button.
[I09]

There’s going to come a point when we’ve just run about used every animal to give human beings massages and facials. That day’s not here yet but by the time we get news that an irate army of fire ants is being used to relax people in a spa in some tiny, remote country we’re probably just going to shrug out an, “Eh.”

Currently a spa in Indonesia is using many peoples’ nightmarish cuddle-buddy to relax them. “Relax” would be the wrong word to use in this case. The theory is that adrenaline, which is triggered by the fear of having a giant python crawling across your naked body, and the snake’s movement, are supposed to be good for your skin.

Fearing for your life sounds exactly like the opposite of the whole idea behind visiting a spa.

[Weather Channel’s YouTube]

Watch as this door opens up and something spills straight out of this closet and into your nightmares.

This is Julius and yes…this thing DID learn to open even round doorknobs. So you’re really not safe anywhere.

Julius passed away in 2012 from an infection that her vet could not diagnose. While we’re saddened about that…we’re glad that Julius didn’t get the chance to visit Florida and teach the rampant pythons here this trick.

That would’ve finally dumped the Sunshine State into the hellmouth it currently sits on.

[IO9]

Wrangled by a man in overalls, friends with people in devil costumes, ladies and gentleman: Medusa, the world’s largest snake.

A snapshot of what is being called the “Morganza Snake” has been making it’s rounds on Facebook causing an uproar as people argue whether it is “real” or “fake.” We have heard from all the city and government officials that with the opening of the Morganza Spillway, that we may see animals (snakes, gators, bears, deer, hogs) in places that we don’t normally see them as they seek higher ground from the water pouring into areas designated to relieve the swelling Mississippi.

[WAFB via Cryptomundo]

A cobra has escaped from its enclosure and is on the loose at the Bronx Zoo.  Everything is FINE, just stay away from the Reptile House.

“While the roughly 20-inch-long Egyptian cobra – a highly venomous species of snake – has been unaccounted for since Friday afternoon, zoo officials say they’re confident it hasn’t gone far and isn’t in a public area. Its enclosure was in an isolation area not open to visitors.”

[Aol News]

Well, humanity had a pretty good run. Snakes have learned to fly and now we are on borrowed time.

Five related species of tree-dwelling snakes found in Southeast and South Asia may just be the worst nightmares of ophidiophobes (people who have abnormal fears of snakes). Not only are they snakes, but they can “fly” — flinging themselves off their perches, flattening their bodies, and gliding from tree to tree or to the ground.

…Socha says, “the snake is pushed upward — even though it is moving downward — because the upward component of the aerodynamic force is greater than the snake’s weight.”

“Hypothetically, this means that if the snake continued on like this, it would eventually be moving upward in the air — quite an impressive feat for a snake,” he says. But our modeling suggests that the effect is only temporary, and eventually “the snake hits the ground to end the glide.”

See what hell you have wrought Samuel L. Jackson. You’ve ridden the beasts from your plane only to force their evolution here on Earth.

[Science Daily]

The newest generation of the Israeli snakebot is built from self-contained segments that can act independently of each other. If you cut this guy in two, then you will just have to deal with two Israeli snakebots. Its like smashing a spider and having its babies explode all over the floor.

Instead of being built like a normal snake with a head at one end and a tail at the other, each segment of this snakebot is totally self-contained with a brain, sensors, motors, and batteries. While the segments are designed to work together to form a long, stealthy snake that can do things like stand up and climb trees, each segment is capable of operating by itself if the snake gets damaged.

The segments can also be configured with alternate payloads, which are separated from the rest of the snake to perform their own missions. So, if the snakebot needs to plant a listening device, it can just disconnect a little piece of itself and leave it behind to eavesdrop. It can also detach segments packed with explosives if it’s feeling ornery.

Check out a video of the first generation snakebot:

[Dvice via Geekologie]

Here’s one to tell the kids.

BELL GARDENS — A family in Bell Gardens has kicked out an unexpected house guest — a snake that bit a sleeping boy and was apparently living inside the walls.

The shocking find was reported just after midnight inside an apartment in the 6600 block of Ajax Ave. near Loveland St.

A few nights ago, a 15-year-old boy who lives inside the home said he awoke to the feeling of something biting him on the arm. It happened again Monday night.

That’s when they discovered the 2-to-3-foot snake slithering around inside a wall heater.

Sleep tight.

[KTLA]