Man Claims Obama Teleported to Mars as a Teenager, White House Denies

Posted by on January 4th, 2012
obama mars.jpg

And so was birthed, the Mars-er.

In a shocking new revelation surely set to explode into the national conversation as our 2012 election draws closer, a man has claimed that a 19-year-old Barack Obama teleported to Mars twice as part of a top secret government program.

Mr. Stillings’ statement, released at the same time, read: “I can confirm that Andrew D. Basiago and Barack Obama (then using the name “Barry Soetoro”) were in my Mars training course in Summer 1980 and that during the time period 1981 to 1983, I encountered Andy, Courtney M. Hunt of the CIA, and other Americans on the surface of Mars after reaching Mars via the “jump room” in El Segundo, California.”

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The claims have been made by Andrew D. Basiago, a lawyer in Washington state who claims to have also been beamed to Mars twice. Among the unit of four college students he trained with was Obama’s appointed DARPA chief Regina Dugan.

Together, they were called Project Pegasus.

Responding to comment by Wired’s Danger Room blog a White House spokesman denied the story.

Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars. “Only if you count watching Marvin the Martian,” Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council, tells Danger Room. But that’s exactly what a secret chrononaut wants you to believe.

To be fair to the White House, Basiago claims that the CIA did their best to erase the memories of the expeditions from the minds of Project Pegasus’ participants. They might have done a better job with our future 44th president.

[Exopolitics via Danger Room]

5 Responses to “Man Claims Obama Teleported to Mars as a Teenager, White House Denies”

  1. Richarddouglasmoore Says:

    I knew it!!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Robert Heinlein wrote a novel in the 60s about a Messiah from Mars; now we have a Messiah in the White House who may (or may not) have been to Mars. Coincidence? And consider what Obama did to shut NASA down…a debt repaid to the martian High Command?

  3. eric Exodus Says:

    so untrue!

  4. Penguinempire Says:

    Wait, so Obama is John Carter? Is that Dejah Thoris in the White House as First Lady? I will start calling Obama, the Warlord of Mars from now on…

  5. mxyzptlk Says:

    This is almost as good as when Stanley Kubrick opened that moon portal through his careful hermetic alignment of cameras. Donald Rumsfeld was sent through against his will, and still doesn’t realize he was never brought back.