Last week we had the very emo Black Eyed Kids which are apparently terrorizing the suburbs of America. Today we hear about a much more flamboyant breed of paranormal beings with seemingly more benign powers of influence.

The Glow Men of Chile. According to Albert Urquiza, a holistic healer, he ran into one of the Glow Men while on the way to meet a client. He described them as being tall, fair skinned and clad in phosphorescent clothing.

He explained that he approached them, thinking these were the patients. He greeted them and they did so in kind. To his surprise, one of them asked him what was his line of work. Urquiza immediately understood that these were not his patients. He explained that he worked in the field of quantum healing. “When I told him what I did, one of them – the speaker – smiled a smile as broad as his eyes. In seconds, [his eyes] began to light up impressively. As his face lit up, he placed his hands on my shoulders, on my head, and a tremendously powerful agency began to emerge. It only took seconds, but was very intense,” he explained, adding: “when he pulled away his hands, he fixed his gaze on me and said: “Welcome to the community.”

Urquiza says the pair then vanished.

Unmentioned is what powers the Glow Man invested him with. If you guys were to guess, what would it be?

[Inexplicata]

Normally I would write up an overly dramatic intro to a story like this. However, the article on Mysterious Universe for which it’s based on does it so well, I am just going to paste it here:

You look up from your steering wheel or cautiously pull back the curtain to see… wait for it… a pair of thin, trendily dressed, usually olive skinned teenagers.

Sounds pretty anti-climatic, right?

These aren’t your average, ordinary scallywags. These adolescents have something horribly wrong with them — something almost none of the witnesses notice at first glance — it’s their eyes. These “creatures” have no white corneas, no colorful irises, just a pair of big, black, shark-like eyes that inspire abject horror in all who have claimed to have seen them.

What’s worse is that these bizarre younglings aren’t content to scare you and continue on their merry way; no they are insistent that you help them. They stare through you with those dull ebony orbs and demand you let them in your car and give them a ride home or that they be allowed into your house to use your phone. The most horrifying aspect of all of this is that those who claim to have encountered these sinister kids swear that they’ve had to actively resist the temptation to do their bidding, as if their voices carried some sort of hypnotic influence.

Here are the common characteristics.

• Young
• Tan
• Lifeless eyes, black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.
• Some degree of mind control
• A desire to enter your house, car, tent
• An inability to just walk in without an invitation

Stories catalogued include kids waiting outside the tent of a lone camper, a startled Marine on a military base who ends up slamming the door on two 10 year olds, an elderly woman terrorized by a pair of them who roll up in a new van and a child skateboarder who is physically accosted by two Black Eyed Kids

The creepiest thing about all these stories is that we have no examples of what happens if you agree to these creepy teens wishes. This leads us to two possible conclusions. A) They have the worst form of mind control in the world. B) What happens to those who fall for their tricks is so horrific, no word escapes past the void.

Also interesting is the speculation on what the Black Eyed Kids could be. Vampires? Lost Souls? Demons? Kids Who Really Need To Use Your Bathroom?

Before the big SpaceX announcement, the boys debate their relative excitement levels while Brian levies accusations of bigotry against NASA. Andrew questions the merit of a claim that the Chupacabra was inspired by the alien in Species and posits his own theory. Justin reads a listener scenario that eventually forces Hitler to try and kiss one of his high command right on the lips.

Your honors, it’s time for a new Weird Things Podcast!

Support the show by purchasing Andrew’s new SciFi book The Grendel’s Shadow for only .99 at Amazon.com by clicking the image below!

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Willtech

Chaos Buffering Podcast

Picks:

Brian-

• Maps & A Mirror by Orson Scott Card

Justin-

• The Grendel’s Shadow by Andrew Mayne

Andrew-

• Source Code directed by Duncan Jones

Andrew is very excited that his first science fiction book The Grendel’s Shadow is released. Brian favorably compares the human race to ants and wonders aloud if we will survive an unknowable cosmic disaster. After having his curiosity piqued by an email from a French listener, Andrew explains what life will be like in a post-Singularity economy where no one wants for anything. Justin calls one of his favorite authors “full of butts” during a conversation about overpopulation.

BONUS: Listen to the end of the podcast for an audio presentation of the prologue and first chapter from Andrew’s new ebook The Grendel’s Shadow. Then buy it for only .99 at Amazon.com by clicking the image below!

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Rick Foster’s Tumblr

Digital Genius from Willtech

IndieAisle.com

Picks:

Brian-

• Snow Crash

• The Diamond Age

Justin-

• Welcome To The Monkeyhouse

Andrew-

• Big Trouble In Little China

What’s more surprising, that we’ve radically reshaped our understanding of physics or that it happened by way of a violent message board flame war? Brian longs (via a series of increasingly complicated metaphors) for the day when we can find life under the frozen waves of a far away planet. Justin joins the Nation of Islam in their belief that a Wheel In The Sky keeps on turning. Andrew wrestles with an email which credits him for inventing a device that opens up a line of communication to the great beyond.

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Zombie Takeout Podcast

Shepherd Intelligent Systems

@DeltaJulietMike

Picks:

Brian-

• 2010: The Year We Make Contact

• Old Man’s War

Justin-

• Hyperion

• Back To The Future Trilogy

Andrew-

• 2012

• Alphaville

Thanks to a bizarre clerical error by the government, the boys all find themselves in the same place at the same time during South By Southwest 2011 in Austin, Texas. Would Brian and his lovely wife purchase a house that was allegedly built by goblins? Can the fabric of the trio’s friendship survive a screaming match over the merits of Jurassic Park?

Make sure you listen to this completely LIVE edition of the podcast featuring no edits and all a cappella sound effects.

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The Mulligans

@WillTech101

The gang debuts the brand new Podcastr webapp for listening to the show. Brian debates the thought process of Ronald Reagan as he confesses his alien invasion fears to Mikhail Gorbachev. Adventure scientists Dr. Herb Vellasic and Viederman try to crack the case of the frog plague. Andrew, for one, welcomes our new robot overlords in the wake of Watson pwning the Jeopardy! champions.

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Picks:

Andrew

Philip Kaufman’s “The Right Stuff” (1983)

Brian

Suzanne Collins’ “The Hunger Games”

Justin

Peter F. Hamilton “Judas Unchained”

Sponsored by:

@LonelyDotGeek

The Chibi Project

Expired Meat

Brian is bent on forcing your digital remains to dance for eternity as the gang descend into a very curious cave. Justin travels back in time and attempts to hoodwink George Carlin into coming along for mad cap silliness. Andrew sets the trio on a course with a dreaded Nazi who prowls the coasts of Florida.

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Picks:

Andrew

Robert A. Heinlein “Tunnel in the Sky”

Dune (2000) Sci-Fi Channel miniseries

Brian

Orson Scott Card “Ender’s Game”

Justin

Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons “Watchmen”

Sponsored by:

@Vincent404

@AdamCSmith

dryan.com

You wake up one morning and your Upstate New York house is covered in a thick yellow goo. What’s more? The same has happened to your neighbors.

Intitial theories pinned the blame on a passing aircraft discharging the foul spread all over the unsuspecting property below. However, FAA officials rule that possibility out after checking flight patterns.

The new theory, now backed up by the Lab of Ornithology at Cornell? Birds got into some discarded McDonald’s fries and nature took care of the rest.

‘We received a call this morning from a woman who owns a house on the same street, Washington Highway. She gave us her explanation because it happened to her last year,’ Lisa Kistner, a spokesman for the Amherst Town Supervisor’s Office, told ABC.

‘She said it’s actually because the seagulls eat fast food at McDonald’s, which upsets their digestive tract,’ Ms Kistner explained.

The seagulls were eating leftover French fries out of paper bags discarded in the parking lots, the woman apparently claimed.

And, Ms Kistner said, as soon as the woman convinced fast food restaurants to clean up the rubbish in their parking lots, she no longer had that problem.

The Cornell lab confirms it’s likely bird droppings but pin the blame on a migrating species entitled the European Starling.

Those are some angry birds.

[Daily Mail]

One day you’re floating in your backyard above ground pool. Sipping on a Costco purchased pre-made margarita listening to C&C Music Factory. Life is good.

You head to sleep with dreams of another day of aquatic lounging splashing around in your head.

Wake up the next morning, slap on your trunks only to find an empty husk of pool sadly standing as a monument to disappointment in your backyard. All the water is gone, with no sign of a crack or a seam and all the surrounding grass dry as a whistle.

The solution for many who have had this problem? Aliens.

The phenomenon is explained in depth (no pun intended) on the Inexplicata blog. Interesting stuff.

[Inexplicata]

Imagine a tale of suburban terror in the Upstate New York town of Batavia in the Mad Men-era year of 1960.

Several youths report banshee-like screaming while crossing a town bridge. Days later the kids investigate and later tell authorities that they saw a gigantic hairy beast which left distinctive footprints. Although cops find the prints, there is no sign of the River Monster.

A few days later, the kids were busted as hoaxers. How did their plan fall apart? According to local paper The Daily News Online the kids got a little greedy.

City Hall officials found similar footprints made of white paint leading up to their front door on August 2nd. No one knows if they kids were looking to expose themselves as pranksters or genuinely thought they could convince the once-hookewinked authorities that the River Monster genuinely had business with the local government.

The footprints and impression left by the monster were also later debunked by a wildlife official after he realized the indentations were too deep to be created by an creature of reasonable size.

The lesson to future hoaxsters? Don’t push your luck, specifically if part of your plan is to insinuate a creature who lives amongst local marsh was trying to apply for a building permit.

President Justin frantically tries to cover up an impending alien visit while science staffer Andrew blabs to the Russian press. Spiro and The Fudge attempt to solve the massive, simultaneous bird deaths in Arkansas. The trio debates the merits of resurrecting a defeated race of human ancestors.

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@TessiBean

OllieJudge.com

A natural event that inspired some of the most awesome Norse mythology ever will make an epic return to it’s homeland tomorrow.

Two beasts of Norse mythology are set to trouble the skies of northern Europe on Tuesday for the world’s first solar eclipse of 2011.

Ancient Viking legends recount that a giant wolf named Skoll chases the Moon, and its brother Hati pursues the Sun — and if either sinks their teeth into one and holds it back, an eclipse occurs.

For astronomers, though, eclipses are less superstitious affairs, occurring when the Moon swings between the Sun and Earth.

Tuesday’s event will be a partial eclipse. This occurs when a fraction of the Moon obscures the Sun, and to those in its shadow a “bite” seems to have been taken out of the solar face.

According to legend, humans are encouraged to make as much noise as possible when the eclipse happens, as to scare away the wolves. So, file that under “things to do.”

Andrew heroically plots how he can rid the world of all life to spite a master race of alien invaders. The team learns a new ghost hunting technique in the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ graveyard and Spiro & The Fudge return to solve a case involving a mysterious stranger, a fully cooked steak and acres of unknowable wilderness.

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Purchased ALL SPOTS to give you an uninterrupted episode.

Episode notes:

• Michael Crichton: States of Fear – Science or Politics

• Bjørn Lomborg, The Skeptical Environmentalist

Recomendations:

Andrew:

Pitch Black

The Keep

Brian:

Moon

Donnie Darko

Being John Malkovich

Justin:

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus