Are You Being Haunted? Check This List To Make Sure!

Posted by on July 2nd, 2009

We’ve all been there, you’re making a pastrami sandwich on toasted rye when you become enveloped in fear because a Civil War-era general’s spectral remains has come upon you seeking misguided vengeance because you’ve grown similar facial hair to a defected private who sealed the General’s fate when he gave away his position to the enemy in exchange for a bottle of rye.

Then you realize it’s just a mosquito that flew into the bug zapper. Don’t let this happen again!

Thanks to the Ohio Researcher of Banded Spirits who’ve published this handy checklist of tell-tale signs of a real-deal otherworldly infestation so you can know the difference between a genuine haunting and a stress-induced panic attack…

1- Unexplained Noises

2- Doors opening and closing

3- Lights turning on and off

4- Items Disappearing

5- Unexplained Shadows

6- Strange domestic animal behavior

7- Feeling of being watched

8- Psychokinetic phenomena–seeing a door open

9- Feeling of being touched

10- Whispers and Muffled voices

11- Cold or Hot spots–major temperature changes

12- Unexplained smells

13- Objects moving

14- Physical Assault

15- Hand or Foot prints

16- Apparitions

They also list mice, settling house noises, plumbing rattles and odd headlight reflections as natural phenomenon commonly mistaken for proof of the supernatural.

4 Responses to “Are You Being Haunted? Check This List To Make Sure!”

  1. BastardSheep Says:
    July 2nd, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    I swear I've seen this list before. Something about child protective services and catholic boarding schools springs to mind?

  2. JustinRYoung Says:
    July 2nd, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    You can never be too careful… best to check the list twice.

  3. BastardSheep Says:
    July 2nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    I swear I've seen this list before. Something about child protective services and catholic boarding schools springs to mind?

  4. JustinRYoung Says:
    July 3rd, 2009 at 12:21 am

    You can never be too careful… best to check the list twice.