Archive for July, 2010

Parasailing Donkey Terrifies Children During Horrific Russian Publicity Stunt

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Holy moly. A Russian parasailing outfit wants to advertise their services in a grassroots manner that will naturally generate word of mouth buzz. They attach a donkey to a parachute and let him fly around a beach for 30 minutes. The haunting screams from the animal reportedly caused children on the shore to being crying.

Take THAT Old Spice guy!


Weapon Maker Marks Successful Military Laser Test With Awesome Quote

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Military had a laser. It tried to shoot down a moving drone. It worked. Lasers are awesome.

What else is awesome? This quote:

Mike Booen of Raytheon gave USA Today the money quote for the day: “The targets came in over the ocean, and it was a good day for lasers, bad day for drones.”

You hear that drones? Eat it!

As is pointed out by our esteemed publisher, the next Chinese UFO that shuts down an airport better watch its six.


Did 62 English Children Hang Out With Aliens?

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

In 1994 62 schoolchildren from England with no prior exposure to portrayals of Aliens & UFOs in the media say they had an extra-terrestrial encounter. Watch this fascinating investigation and let us know what you think in the comments!

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

Mud Volcano! [Weirdest Disasters]

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Disasters ever to strike down man or beast.

What strikes me most about today’s Weird Disaster is how closely it mirrors current events, with a couple unique twists.

It seems, in 2006 an Indonesian drilling company hit exactly what they were looking for…natural gas. Unfortunately, what actually resulted from this little Eureka moment was a four-year and counting, non-stop-mud-spewing volcano that threatens to engulf village after village despite all effort to stop it, including dropping giant concrete balls into the opening. (Seriously, what is it with people dropping balls into holes and expecting that to solve their problems?)

The mud volcano looks innocuous enough, in fact, it’s often tough to tell anything is happening at all, and yet, everyday, enough hot noxious mud comes out to fill five Olympic-sized swimming pools. (Which leads me to believe they’re missing out on a major league professional mud wrestling opportunity here…)

Despite the slow movement of the mud, thousands have lost their homes and businesses and although the mud volcano has slowed in recent years it is still pouring out ooze at an alarming rate.

Remind you of another little disaster a bit closer to home? That’s right.

If you had to lose your house to a molasses flood or a natural gas infused mud volcano, which would you choose? I think it may be a toss up…unless you can keep some of the molasses for your impromptu moonshine business.

Have any disasters you’d like to see featured in the remaining three days?

Finally, A Fool-Proof Time Travel Strategy!

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

It’s way smarter than me, but a pack of MIT numberheads got together and figured out how to utilize quantum mechanics to circumvent the dreaded “grandfather paradox” of time travel a.k.a. the travel doing something stupid that causes him to never exist. Huey Lewis is down wid it.

[arxiv via Technology Review]

Man Busted With 18 Monkeys In His Girdle

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010


MEXICO CITY — A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City’s international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing.

The Public Safety Department said in a statement Monday that 38-year-old Roberto Cabrera arrived on a commercial flight Friday from Lima, Peru, when authorities noticed the bulge and conducted a body search.

The department says Cabrera was carrying the 6-inch titi monkeys in pouches attached to the girdle.

I was going to say this could make a delightful children’s song, then the article goes on to say two of the poor little creatures had died along the way. Which now makes it a mediocre Tim Burton movie.

[LA Times]

South Korean Spiders Invade Guam

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

A ship from South Korea was refused port when thousands of large spiders were discovered throughout the ship’s cargo.

The local Department of Agriculture deemed the arachnids “too numerous to destroy or contain.” Officials  are unsure of why the spiders are on board, or even what species they are.

Considering the cargo was meant to build housing for U.S. military contractors it’s safe to say that “War On Ugly-Wugly Creepy Crawlies” is imminent.

[Stars and Stripes]

Santeria Advisor Tells Man His Hotel Is Haunted, Graciously Takes Hotel, Evicts Man

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Enzo Vincenzi had a poor financial outlook and worse stomach problems. He contacted a Santeria spiritual advisor to help him get his life back on track by cleansing himself of demonic spirits.

That didn’t happen.

Eventually Pacheco took Vincenzi to a lawyer, where he signed away his motel to her. Vincenzi did this in order to save himself from demonic spirits and attempts on his life, according the The Naples Daily News.

Pacheco then evicted Vincenzi.

He lost his Jaguar, pickup truck, motorboat and possessions after the eviction — but Pacheco and Torres deny taking his vehicles, according to court docments.

Now Vincenzi is suing Pacheco to get back his motel.

Don’t feel bad Enzo, we’ve all fell for the the ol’ Santeria Switcheroo at some point.


Boston Molassacre [Weirdest Disasters]

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Disasters ever to strike down man or beast.

On January 15, 1919 an enormous, fifty-foot tall molasses tank collapsed, overrunning a portion of the great city of Boston with such sugary goodness that 21 people were killed, 150 were injured and eleventy-billion cavities ensued.

Thanks to the now pervasive colloquialism, “Slow as molasses,” I can’t help but picture this otherwise deeply depressing disaster as a scene out of an Austin Powers movie wherein Boston’s citizens scream and point at a 15-foot tall wave of dark brown molasses without ever making an effort to turn and run as it ever so slowly envelopes them.

The truth, however, is that this terrifying Blob-like blob was flying down the streets of Boston at 35 mph and crashing into structures and people alike with such force that it destroyed buildings, lifted a train off its elevated track and tossed a truck into Boston Harbor.

People and horses were stuck in the gooey tide like flies on flypaper, like flies in honey, like flies in Vaseline. (Why is it that flies get all the good “stuck in” similes?!) Some of the trapped horses were even shot by police rather than watch them struggle. (For the sake of what’s left of BPs PR I’m glad that’s not how struggling animals are handled today.)

Rather than wait for the molasses to ferment and stage the largest rum-fueled street party the world has ever seen, the city elected to begin the cleanup process immediately. It took 87,000 man-hours to clean up the streets and buildings affected by the Great Molasses Flood. That’s almost 20 years of one man working 12 hour days! (OR, to put it in terms you guys might be able to comprehend, that’s roughly the same amount of time it would take to clean the blood from your ears after listening to any given Nickelback album from beginning to end!)

If you had to be killed by a wave of something, what would you choose? Know of any Weird Disasters that absolutely have to make it into this week’s list?

The World’s First Touchable Holograms

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Japanese scientists have created the world’s first touchable holograms. Using 2 Wiimotes and a wave emitter to create pressure on the user’s hands Researchers at Tokyo University have developed the technology to be used from everything from basic computing to light switches and doorknobs. Who would have thought the world of Minority Report would be brought to you be Nintendo. I’m pretty sure Google will be the first with pre-cogs though.

You Ever Wonder What Cat Ancestors Look Like?

Monday, July 19th, 2010


Boom. How’s that for a Monday morning? That thing looks like the Yeti of cats.

As described by Gadopoder:

These little (big) guys are the oldest living relative of modern day cats. The Pallas’s Cat is the oldest living species of a clade of felids that includes the modern genus Felis. This feline, along with the extinct Martelli’s Cat, was probably one of the first two modern cats to evolve from Pseudaelurus approximately 12 million years ago.

Hit up their site for more pics.


Video Of The UFO That Closed A Chinese Airport

Monday, July 19th, 2010

We reported this when it first happened, but this footage is pretty clear proof that someone weird was going on in the sky over the Xiaoshan Airport earlier this month.

Thanks to Weird Things reader Glenn for sending this in.

Minor League Manager, Major League Tantrum [Weirdest Tirades]

Saturday, July 17th, 2010

Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Tirades ever thrown.

Not only is this my new favorite Weird Tirade…but this may be my new favorite video. Period. About a third of the way through I was planning what I would write if I decided to use this clip. I started thinking it would be funny if I wrote a transcript of what the manager was saying since there’s no real audio.

Half way through, I was mesmerized by his theatricality and had completely given myself over to the video. The LAST thing on my mind was what I should be writing about.

By the end, I realized there is absolutely no room for improvement in this video. Clearly he has been waiting his entire career for this one moment when he could simultaneously show off his Groundlings training and get himself thrown out of a minor league ballpark. Literally nothing I can say or do will improve on this tirade except to say:

“Bring this guy up to the majors already!”

That’s the end gang. You’ve seen all of this week’s Weird Tirades. What do you think? How would you rank them? (Also, hook me up with a fantastic theme for next week’s column and in return I will promise you a much more timely batch of awesome. Scout’s honor.)

We had:

1. McNugget Rage!

2. The Fightin’ Optometrist!

3. Satan Claus

and of course, my early favorite:

4. Minor League Manager, Major League Tantrum

Help Save An Iconic Piece Of Star Wars

Friday, July 16th, 2010

Save the Lars Homestead! Head here for more information.

2 Lemurs Walk Into A Bar…

Friday, July 16th, 2010



VIENNA (AFP) – Two young ring-tailed lemurs which had escaped from Salzburg zoo five days ago have been recaptured by their keepers in a hotel bar in a nearby village, according to local media reports Friday.

The two-year-old males had escaped from Salzburg’s Hellbrunn zoo on Sunday afternoon, journeying around 25 kilometres (15 miles) over the next four days.

On Thursday morning, they crept through the open window of a hotel in the village of Wals, where staff lured them into the bar with fruits before calling the zoo to collect them.

Disney has already purchased the rights to the story. The big lemur will be voiced by Brad Garret and Bow Wow will play his travel companion. Sam Elliot is already locked as a gruff yet wise gopher.


Science Hard At Work On Inception Technology As We Speak

Friday, July 16th, 2010

The official Weird Things review of Inception? See it. Now. Stop reading.

You back? How awesome was that movie? I know! Remember that part when (REDACTED FOR SPOILERS)? So awesome. Anyhow, here is where science is in terms of making all that a reality. Or rather, a dream. The dream you might share as a reality. Or something.

[Live Science]