Brain to Twitter Interface = Unspeakable Evil

Posted by on April 24th, 2009

The depraved Neural Interface Technology researchers at University of Wisconsin Madison have unleashed a device of unspeakable evil. Just to clarify: We think direct brain/computer interfaces are nifty and are important science. But with great power comes great responsibility. We must use these tools to aid the forces of good in this world. And when you take a technology so cool and important and then use it to breach all standards of human decency, good women and men everywhere need to make a stand.

-Find out what is so heinous about twitter AFTER THE JUMP….

The Twitter menace has taken the internet and media by storm, shortening attention spans and making twits everywhere think that anyone cares that they decided to buy chocolate milk instead of regular milk five minutes ago. With this new technology, all of the thousands of miscellaneous thoughts that rattle through people’s brains each minute will be uploaded to the internet. It won’t be long until we reach a critical mass of mindless and superfluous information.

The Twitter conspiracy reaches to the highest level of government, celebrities and CEOs everywhere are rushing to become twits. But there is hope: We were heartened to see Jon Stewart decrying the evils of Twitter on The Daily Show last night. For twitter to triumph all that needs to happen is for us good, decent technophobic folk to do nothing. Needless to say, the human race can ill afford to waste time. Quick and decisive action must be taken to stop this research that would allow the thoughts of millions of twits everywhere to flow unfiltered through the internet, inundating our online space with the mundane details of the lives of tech heads. And that is a scary thought indeed.

-Sean’s twitter account name is seanmccabe88.
-For unsubstantiated evidence that Twitter can make you immoral, click here.

4 Responses to “Brain to Twitter Interface = Unspeakable Evil”

  1. ???? Says:

    Probably one of the hardest things anyone can do is try and learn something new. Congrats to anyone who tries.

  2. Craigslist Proxy Says:

    Was a good read. I'll be back for more.

  3. Craigslist Proxy Says:

    Was a good read. I'll be back for more.

  4. Craigslist Proxy Says:

    Nice one. I have stumbled and twittered this for my friends. Hope others find it as interesting as I did.