Bath-salt zombies are SO two years ago…

A drug called Krokodil has started surfacing here in the states.

Created in Russia, Krokodil has claimed approximately 30,000 lives since the early 2000s when the drug began hitting the street. Krokodil costs about a third the price of heroin, is extremely easy to make and has an extremely intense high that belts you almost immediately.

Big deal. It’s another new way to get high, right? What’s so weird about that?

The horrifying effect the drug has on your precious little living body.

You basically become a ‘walker’. ‘Walker’ as in Walking Dead ‘walker’. As in pieces of that precious little living body aren’t so living and begin decaying…from the inside out!

That’s right. At first Krokodil causes blood vessels to break which causes the skin to turn dark green which then becomes dark and scaly…like a…wait for it….crocodile! After the scaly skin and bursting blood vessels, the drug begins rotting you internally. Currently Krokodil has become Russia’s go-to drug because of it’s low cost and minimal, already-in-your-kitchen ingredients.

Now the stuff has turned up in Arizona and New Mexico along with several recent incidents in Illinois.

Just when you thought bath-salt zombies would be the last word in the whole zombie apocalypse scenario.

[CNN’s YouTube]

Remember when eating bath-salts, slipping into a rabid zombie-like state, getting naked and chewing the faces off innocent pedestrians was kinda trendy and cool?

Apparently 20 year-old Richard Cimino Jr of Doylestown, Pennsylvania hasn’t been paying attention to the bath-salt fount of information that this blog is about such things.

State police responded to a call the other night from two women who reported an assault…an assault by?

We can hear all of you in a weird unison of unspoken nodding…’bath-salt zombie’.

According to early reports, Cimino pulled his car up behind a home early in the morning, stripped to his underwear and tried to break into the home. The resident at that home startled Cimino who fled to another home not far away and proceeded to break in to the second home. No one was home.

Cimino proceeded up to the second floor of the home and, like the erratic behavior exhibited by most of the ‘Bath-Salt Zombies’ we’ve seen so far, parkoured himself from the second-story window severely injuring his arms and legs when he slammed into the ground.

True to ‘Bath-Salt Zombie’ lore (which stretches back in time to the end of January of this year) Cimino got up and walked away while bleeding profusely.

Cimino then approached two women, who once again helped this whole incident slide into the typical ‘Bath-Salt Zombie’ profile when he jumped one of them and, “screaming like a wild animal”, began gnawing on the skull of one of the poor women.

Both women managed to escape Cimino, who police later found covered in blood acting delusional and confrontational.

After lunging at a state trooper and punching a medical technician, Cimino was tasered and taken to Geisinger Community Medical Center in Scranton.

Cimino is charged with two counts each of aggravated assault, criminal mischief, indecent exposure, three counts of burglary and several other charges.

At this time tests regarding what Cimino may have been hopped up on are still pending.

Anyone want to take a stab at what he may have been on? Anyone?

[Times-Tribune]

Eventually it’s going to stop, right? The zombie-style incidents? They’ll come to an end before we all end up eating one another, won’t they?

Not any time soon, people.

Not only will they not stop but they’re already getting tired of the taste of tender human meat and are now moving on to man’s best friend.

Yeah. You read that last part correctly…a dog is the latest victim in the new drug-zombie phenomena.

Michael Terron Daniel, a 22-year-old Texan was high on the designer drug known as K2 (a synthetic cannabis) when he began chasing a neighbor…like a dog. Complete with barks and growls, Daniel then turned his attention to the family dog. What happened next was too graphic to really go into detail about according to reports. One witness reported that he was “ripping pieces of flesh away.” The dog was pronounced dead at the scene.

Waco officers (yes…THAT Waco) arrived to find a blood-covered porch and Daniel pleading for them to either fight him or use the stun gun in order “to help him get off his bad trip.”

Daniel has been charged with felony cruelty to a non-livestock animal.

[WPTV]

We’re not out of the woods yet, kids.

‘Bath Salt Zombie’ activity is now being reported in central New York!

Police officers were called to a bar where a visibly disturbed woman lunged at one officer’s face while screaming that she wanted to “kill someone and eat them!”

This lovely lady won a free ride in a well-cushioned van to the local hospital for mental evaluation.

Just a little while later in a not-so-zombie-like, but still bath-salt fueled, incident, 20 year-old Aubrey Vallis had ripped a door off its hinges and was busy punching a car in a driveway when police busted him for criminal mischief.

Anyone else find themselves a little nervous around the bath section of your local drugstore lately?

[Time Herald Record Online]

A decade from now when society looks back on what brought about the zombie apocalypse, Florida will probably be referred to as ground zero.

Once again, this time in Manatee County, Florida, law enforcement had to resort to using multiple tasers to subdue 26 year-old Charles Baker. Did you catch that part where we said “multiple tasers”? It took six bullets at close range to stop the “Causeway Cannibal” during the now infamous incident in Miami involving a bathsalt-induced face-chewing attacker of a homeless man.

Baker went to visit his kids who were staying with their grandparents.

Upon entering the house, Baker proceeded to throw furniture, scream and then, like other recent zombies, began removing his clothes.

Jeffrey Blake, owner of the house made an attempt to restrain Baker. Baker bit into Blake’s biceps.

Authorities believe Baker was under the influence of some kind of drug.

Anyone care to yell out what that might be? Anyone?

We’re hedging bath salts….

You probably are too.

[WPTV]

Alberta Kelley, you are a 67-year-old grandmother from Western Pennsylvania who just got busted on an anonymous tip for growing marijuana plants next to your tomato garden.

What do you have to say for yourself?

A Pennsylvania granmother, who was busted for growing pot next to her tomato plants, told police it wasn’t her idea to grow the illegal plant but a bearded stranger wearing a Smurf hat who gave her the seeds.

Smurf gave you the seeds? Okay, fine, you are acquitted on all charges.

Now, who was the snitch that dropped dime on Granny? You guessed it.

[Q104]

If you’ve used hallucinogenic mushrooms (active ingredient psilocybin) in the past year, you could still be feeling the effect. Long past peaking, 60% of participants in a Johns Hopkins study found a marked rise in openness a far as a year past initially tripping their faces off.

Openness is defined as such:

…traits related to imagination, aesthetics, feelings, abstract ideas and general broad-mindedness.

The changes were measured against the normal shift in adult personality. Researches said that openness is traditionally something that decreases as one gets older.

Here is another fun fact to the study, more than half of the 51 participants had postgraduate degrees. Higher learning, indeed.

[Science Daily]

When legendary horse Secretariat died, the veterinary doctors performing the necropsy made a startling realization. There was a reason Big Red destroyed other horses en route to the most convincing Triple Crown win of all time, his heart was gigantic. Over twice the normal size for a horse his weight.

Genome scientists have made a similar discovery with Ozzy Osbourne, thankfully without The Prince Of Darkness having to croak first.

Simply speaking: he’s the Secretariat of drug users.

… the most notable differences in Osbourne’s genes had to do with how he processes drugs and alcohol. Genes connected to addiction, alcoholism and the absorption of marijuana, opiates and methamphetamines all had unique variations in Osbourne, a few of which Knome geneticists had never seen before.

“He had a change on the regulatory region of the ADH4 gene, a gene associated with alcoholism, that we’ve never seen before,” Conde told ABCnews.com. “He has an increased predisposition for alcohol dependence of something like six times higher. He also had a slight increased risk for cocaine addiction, but he dismissed that. He said that if anyone has done as much cocaine he had, they would have been hooked.”

They also found some Neanderthal DNA, because, well why not.

[ABC News via Reason]