World’s First Functioning Crazy-o-meter [Weirdest Inventions]

Posted by on June 26th, 2010

Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Inventions ever conceived.

I think we established that you can always count on Japanese folk and the military to come up with some off the wall inventions but let it be known here and now and for the rest of time that there is only one place to go for a truly weird invention. The apex of oddball, the zenith of zany, the pinnacle of peculiar…the culmination of crazy, the…nadir of normal (I’m running out of steam here gang. I hope that was enough for you. OH, WAIT! One more…), the summit of strange; I’m speaking, of course, of Scientology.

It’s now more commonly know as the E-meter but the Hubbard Electrometer was originally used by L. Ron Hubbard in 1968 for a (*ahem*) scientific experiment with the intention of discerning whether or not tomatoes experience pain.

Crazy? Probably.

Ahead of his time? Definitely.

Maybe if we had listened to L. Ron when he told us he had proven that tomatoes effectively scream in pain when they’re sliced then we wouldn’t have run into that huge Killer Tomato problem we had just ten years later when they finally rose against their transgressors.

Woe is man’s hubris when confronted with the threat of mutant tomatoes with a taste for human blood.

Also, it’s worth noting that the Hubbard Electrometer is basically just a device that measures electrical resistance but with the not-to-be-trifled-with addition of an unproven assertion.

I could be wrong, but it feels like the Hubbard Electrometer is just one step off from me gluing macaroni to the side of a toaster oven and declaring that it can sort ghosts by height. (Hmm…I might be on to something there. Yeah…the Rounsaville Ghosterganizer, coming to a Target near you.)

That’s the last of them gang. What do you think? Who’s going to top the heap in this week’s Weird Off? Will it be:

1. The Solar Powered Bra

2. Military Vuvuzelas

3. Baby’s First Ball Gag

4. The Scan Toaster

5. The Hubbard Electrometer

What order would you put these weirdest of weird inventions in?

In other news: Our pushy and megalomaniacal editor here at, Mr. Justin Robert Young, has insisted that next week’s Weirdest Topic needs to be both topical and summer related…so he’s suggest Weirdest Murders of All Time. Get pumped, people.

4 Responses to “World’s First Functioning Crazy-o-meter [Weirdest Inventions]”

  1. Michael Hogan Says:

    Your first mistake was telling me ahead of time on the next competition! Bwahahahahaha

    Anyway, for the last day of weird inventions I bring you a tank silencer.

    As for the rankings

    5 – Solar Powered Bra (Kinkaaaay, but not very weird)

    4 – Baby Ball Gag (Interesting, but a bit too close to something that would have the cops trying to chase me down even more than they do now)

    3 – Toast Scanner (Imagine the possibilities of toast messaging. Watch out cell phone, you and your texting has competition)

    2 – Military Vuvuzelas ( I see a resurgance in this when regular vuvuzelas are just not enough for a soccer game)

    1 – Hubbard Electrometer (Anything that came from Hubbard has to be at the top of this list. Its like a law or something)

  2. a. Says:

    as crazy as good 'ol Hubs was, the solar bra broke my brain so I have to say that was the weirdest.

    5- Toast scanner
    4- Baby ball gag
    3- Military vuvuzelas
    2- Hubbard tomatometer
    1- Solar powered bra

    Honorable Mention: The Rounsaville Ghostergonaizer

  3. Moongoose Says:

    Weirdest would have to go in the order of

    5. Toast scanner, because I would use this every day as long as I didn't have to pay for it.

    4. The Solar Powered Bra, because it's Japan, they've made worse.

    3. Military vuvuzelas, because that just sounds like something so stupid someone would honestly think it'd work. It was just a matter of time.

    2. The Hubbard Electrometer, because who hasn't wondered if tomatoes can feel?

    1. Baby's First Ball Gag, because seriously….

  4. Brett Rounsaville Says:

    Wow! Thanks for the feedback, gang. I honestly LOVE seeing your thoughts at the end of the week. I'm a little surprised by the complete lack of consensus though. Here's my list:

    5. Military Vuvuzelas – Just another example of doing less with more. They tried.

    4. Toast Scanner – Sadly, more AWESOME than weird.

    3. Baby's first ball gag – Dumb. But there's weirder. For example…

    2. The Solar Power Bra – ALMOST completely useless…but I suspect they got what they wanted out of it–press.

    1. Hubbard Electrometer – Not sure if the inventor or the invention is weirder, regardless, it's double the crazy.