Archive for the ‘Abduction’ Category

Son Takes Dad Home – From the Cemetery!

Monday, January 21st, 2013

Clarence Bright passed away at 93 years of age and his corpse was being prepped for burial in his final resting place.

Key word in that last sentence? ‘Was’.

Just hours before being buried, the body of Clarence Bright went missing. After receiving tips from family members, authorities began searching for Clarence’s son, Vincent. Almost immediately their search turned up a van containing a casket but still no Clarence.

When authorities finally arrived at Vincent’s home, they also found out where Clarence had seemingly sauntered off to.

Vincent, who, according to his family, had extreme religious views, had taken his good ol’ Dad home, in a cliche’ rookie move put him in the freezer in the basement and was going to bring him back to life.

Authorities shook their heads, arrested him, plucked his dad-sicle from the freezer and slapped a $75,000 bond on him.

Wayne County Jail arraigned Vincent via video.

In an understatement to the media, Vincent Bright’s lawyer, Gerald Karafa said:

“It’s an unusual case. It’s not something you see every day.”

Obviously Gerald the lawyer isn’t a regular reader of WeirdThings.

[Associated Press]

Happy Thanksgiving! Now Pass the ‘Girl Meat’!

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

And in true WeirdThings fashion here’s a story to enjoy while you’re waiting for your Turducken to golden its sweet self.

Most of you prefer white meat. Some of you prefer dark meat.

NYPD officer Gilberto Valle prefers something he’s coined ‘girl meat’. According to the prosecution in a bizarre case against Valle, he was going to sit down to a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings and a plateful of said ‘girl meat’.

“I’m planning on getting some girl meat. This November, for Thanksgiving. It’s a long way off, but I’m getting the plan in motion now. She’s not a volunteer. She has to be abducted. I know where she lives. I will grab her from her house. I was thinking of tying her body onto some kind of apparatus. Cook her over a low heat, keep her alive as long as possible.”

We can hear everyone quietly putting down their forks and looking around awkwardly.

Valle is apparently part of a small subculture that prefers its meat right off the bone…the human bone. The ‘girl meat’ that Valle was refering to was just that…the meat of an abducted girl. Federal prosecutors produced the transcript of an online chat between Gilberto Valle and an alleged co-conspirator that revealed his plan to abduct a woman he knew and roast her alive and slowly over an open flame.

While his defense claims that Valle would never commit such an act and that his thoughts alone don’t deserve jail-time (he’s currently locked up in solitary confinement), an FBI expert from Quantico looked at the case and stated that he would definitely eventually act on his plans.

The judge handling the case has denied bail for the third time as of this posting and the court proceedings begin on January 22nd which could actually make CourtTV worth watching.

Now pass us those fava beans (we couldn’t resist)!

[NY Times]

Sammy Hagar Vividly Describes His Own Alien Abduction, UFO Sighting

Monday, April 4th, 2011

Skitched 20110404 143858

While speaking to MTV’s The Hive, Sammy Hagar describes in detail how a band of aliens experimented on him while he slept:

How is that crazy? I wasn’t there, I don’t know what happened to you.

Remember the story in the book, where I have a dream about being contacted by aliens in the foothills above Fontana?

Yeah, yeah, I’ve got the page right here. “I saw a ship and two creatures inside of this ship… And they were connected to me, tapped into my mind through some kind of mysterious wireless connection.” You’re telling me that wasn’t a dream?

That’s right. It was real. [Aliens] were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, “F-ck, they downloaded something into me!” Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment. “See what this guy knows.”

And this actually happened?

That happened. That friggin’ happened, I’ll tell you right now. Another thing happened when I was about four that I didn’t put into the book. One time I saw what I considered to be, well, at the time I thought it was a car with no wheels. We lived out in the country and I saw this thing floating across a field, creating this big dust storm. I threw rocks at it and sh-t. And I don’t know what happened after that.

You blacked out?

I guess. I just have no memory of it. And that wasn’t a dream. It was during daylight.

Sammy is promoting his new autobiography Red. In the interview he also discusses boring stuff like drugs, booze and David Lee Roth.

What could aliens want with the brain of Sammy Hagar? Beyond an intergalactic fascination with his oft-discussed inability to drive 55, your guess is as good as mine.

[MTV Hive]