What’s better than Yeti tracks in the snow? Video of a Yeti. What’s better than a Yeti? Two Yetis! What’s better than that???? A mama yeti and her child filmed by some 12 year old Russian kid. To top it all off, a Russian scientist has even declared the footage is legit, because it’s not like you could fake something like this. Next you’ll have us believing it really was a meteor that slammed into Russia a few months back. Seriously. Science. Yetis.
Russia has become a hotbed of Yeti activity over the last couple of weeks. And what’s more awesome than seeing a Yeti?
Seeing a group of Yeti.
In those last couple of weeks the sightings of Bigfoot’s Siberian cousin, two have included multiple Yeti hanging out together.
Sighting #1:
“We shouted, ‘Do you need help?’ They rushed away, all in fur, walking on two legs, making their way through the bushes and with two other limbs, straight up the hill. The person who made the report added: “It could not be bears, as the bear walks on all fours, and they ran on two. Then they were gone.”
Sighting #2:
“We saw some tall animals looking like people. Our binoculars were broken and did not let us see them sharply. We waved at the animals but they did not respond, then quickly ran back into the forest, walking on two legs. We realized that they were not in dark clothes but covered by dark fur. They did walk like people.”
Sighting #3:
A forestry inspector reported seeing a yeti in a national park, a government official said. Sergei Adlyakov, the inspector who reported the incident said: “The creature did not look like a bear and quickly disappeared after breaking some branches off the bushes.”
Are Yeti growing in number? Have they just gotten numb to the whole ‘being spotted’ thing? Only one man may know the answer because he’s Russia’s Yeti expert. Igor Burtsev is the head of the International Center of Hominology and is very excited to learn more about the recent blossoming of Yeti activity. Burtsev also claims that there is an active population of about 30 of the creatures living in the Kemerovo region of Russia.
He said: “We have good evidence of the yeti living in our region, and we have heard convincing details from experts elsewhere in Russia and in the U.S. and Canada.
Yeti sightings are up throughout Russia! In fact, what could be a pack of the mysterious cryptids have repeatedly come in contact with various groups of Siberian fishermen.
One person who reported spying the beast said “We shouted, ‘Do you need help?’ They rushed away, all in fur, walking on two legs, making their way through the bushes and with two other limbs, straight up the hill.
The person who made the report added: “It could not be bears, as the bear walks on all fours, and they ran on two. Then they were gone.”
On a second sighting on the bank of the Mras-Su River several days later, an unnamed fisherman was quoted as saying: “We saw some tall animals looking like people.”
Yeti expert Igor Burtsev, who has previously claimed to be in possession of a Yeti hair sample, says the recent uptick in sightings is worth noting. He also believes a pack of 30 are currently living in the Kemerovo region of Russia.
“He was dressed like a sad, ghetto version of bigfoot, walked into traffic and got nailed by two oncoming cars.”
True story.
44-year-old Randy Lee Tenley of Montana was struck dead when he was hit by two oncoming vehicles as he attempted to cross several lanes of traffic dressed like more like a topiary at a bankrupt garden attraction than Bigfoot in hopes he’d stir up some sightings of the infamously mysterious legend.
Police are continuing their investigation to see if alcohol played a role in the incident.
We’re going to go with, “Yes. There was a LOT of alcohol that a role in the incident.”
What kind of epitaph would you write for that?
[ABCNews.com]
A new partnership could herald a historic moment for the cryptozoology community. Venerable Oxford University will partner with the Lausanne Museum of Zoology in utilizing the latest genetic techniques to investigate organic remains of crypto creatures.
Among the list of evidence to study? The Yeti.
Professor Bryan Sykes, a Fellow of Wolfson College, Oxford, who will lead the project with Michel Sartori, Director of the Lausanne Museum of Zoology, said: “Theories as to their species identification vary from surviving collateral hominid species, such as Homo neanderthalensis or Homo floresiensis, to large primates like Gigantopithecus widely thought to be extinct, to as yet unstudied primate species or local subspecies of black and brown bears.
Sykes hopes that the Yeti evidence could lead to new breakthroughs in our understanding of Neanderthals and other early hominids.
Over 10,000 years ago a creature stalked the Tibetan landscape. 10 foot tall, weighing in at over 1,200 pounds, this lumbering herbivore moved like a massive version of a modern Orangutan. His name was Gigantopithecus and his species is a likely starting point for the Yeti and Bigfoot legends propagated even today.
And the blood of this noble creature stains the honor of our evolutionary ancestry.
Before we get to that, let’s back up a bit. Gigantopithecus has been on our radar since 1935 when a German paleoanthropologist was sold a far larger than normal molar at a bizarre in Hong Kong. Since then, a variety of dental records have been gathered to give us a better idea of what this massive beast was. As to the question of how it went extinct, there are a few theories.
Zhang’s team suggested the rise of the Tibetan plateau 1.6 million to 800,000 years ago altered the climate of South Asia, ushering in a colder, drier period when forests shrank. Other factors could have exacerbated this crisis. Gigantopithecus‘s neighbor, Homo erectus, may have over-hunted and/or outcompeted their larger ape cousin.
Homo erectus, a key link in the chain of life that brings to this point today, reading The Internet instead of working. They killed Gigantopithecus. They killed the Yeti.
A female Yeti has finally been captured in the Republic of Ingushetia. The creature was spotting killing a sheep, before dragging it into the woods and eating it. Authorities found the beast and captured it.
“I tell you what. The animal looks like a gorilla. It is nearly two meters tall. We believe it’s a female, but she is really big. A gorilla usually moves using its front extremities, but this creature stands vertically, like a human being. She roars and produces strange sounds,” the minister said.
The animal is frightened; she eats meat and herbal food, the official added.
Or so the initial report read. Until the truth was revealed.
“That was a life-size puppet that we are going to use for New Year holidays. You guys just think – it’s December 29th – what kind of Yeti can there be before the New Year holidays? He will be our Yeti for three days: on December 29, 30 and 31,” the minister said.
The story was concocted for local children. The Yeti will be joined by several talking animals including a squirrel and a wolf.
You know what would have been a great way to cap off this awesome story? Not telling anyone until after the New Year! Stupid Republic of Ingushetia…
A recent collection of Yeti researchers in Siberia might have turned up evidence of a nest.
“We didn’t feel like the trees we saw in Siberia had been done by a man or another mammal…. Twisted trees like this have also been observed in North America and they could fit with the theory that Bigfoot makes nests. The nests we have looked at are built around trees twisted together into an arch shape,” Bindernagel told the British tabloid The Sun.
Next up: proof of Yeti pillow or electric blanket.
Sightings are up. The legends are building. In the foothills of Siberia, the time has finally come for scientists from around the globe to unite in a common cause.
Finding the Yeti.
Researchers from Russia, the U.S., Canada, Sweden, Estonia, Mongolia and China will arrive later this week at a conference designed to find evidence of the beast.
Alleged sightings of Yetis in Kemerovo and the neighboring Altai region, about 1,988 miles (3,200 kilometers) east of Moscow, are up three times compared to 20 years ago, with scientists estimating that there is a current population of at least several dozen in the area.
Other evidence of the existence of the creatures — such as basic twig huts, twisted branches and footprints of up to 35 centimeters (14 inches) — also has been found in the area.
While former Russian president Vladimir Putin was publicly flirting with a return to power, he finally gave his opinion on a far more important matter, the ongoing presence of Yetis and Wood Goblins in the remote areas of his expansive home country.
Outdoor Life writer Gayne C. Young published a lengthy written interview with Putin about hunting, fishing and camping in the great outdoors of Russia. However, the question and answer we most cared about did not make the final cut. Specifically, it was “Are there Yetis or Russian ‘wood goblins’ in the taiga?”
Here is the answer, as published in a French Magazine:
Putin responded to the question with this answer: “Everything is possible. I recommend you come and look. Will not guarantee success, but the search itself will surely bring satisfaction. ”
Ever wondered if there was a degree ever more impractical than your double major of philosophy and sociology? We encourage you to submit your application to Kemerovo State University where you can become culturally enriched and educated at their recently announced Yeti Institute.
The facility comes after a recent run of Abominable Snowman sightings in the Siberian mountains. It will be headed up by Igor Burtsev who believes the current creatures being spotted are surviving Neanderthals.
He explains:
‘We spoke to local residents’, said Dr Igor Burtsev, who conducted an expedition last summer and will head the new institute at Kemerovo State University. ‘They told us Yetis were stealing their animals.’
The academic claims around 30 Yetis live in a remote region of Mount Shoria in in southern Siberia.
He strongly denies accusations that the ’sightings’ are a bizarre ruse to attract tourists to the far-flung region.
Reports say the two-legged creatures are heavy-set, more around 7ft tall and resemble bears.
‘Their bodies were covered in red and black fur, and they could climb trees,’ said one account.
We immediately have two questions. Is there anything more awesome than this? Will they accept transfer credits from community college?
Hunters in the remote woodlands of the Sichuan province in China caught a small hairless creatures that is said to resemble a bear with a kangaroo tail. The creature has been shipped to Beijing for scientists to examine and DNA test. The creature has been named the “Oriental Yeti” because the hunters believe the creature is a legendary animal that was once human.
“There are local legends of a bear that used to be a man and some people think that’s what we caught,” said hunter Lu Chin.
While local legends are well and good, everybody knows that if you find a hairless, mangy creature of any kind, the answer is chupacabra. This is a bold new direction for hairless animal discoveries that will resonate around the world.
You are not ready for this, the coolest battle between animals in the history of recorded civilization. Due to forest fires, Yetis have unnaturally migrated to a new area of Russia. The problem? Local bears haven’t taken to kindly to their new neighbors and a full scale GD war has broken out!
This year’s expedition to Mountain Shoria is already the third. One of its participants, the director of the International Center for Hominology Igor Burtsev assures that yetis leave traces of their stay in the taiga and fight with local bears.
“They make strange pyramidal constructions of trunks and branches in the wood – sometimes 3 or 4 meters, sometimes only 30 cm high. Sometimes they bend huge trees and twist their trunks like wheels. A human being is just not strong enough for that, and there seems to be no need for bears to do this. At first, we thought that yetis do this to make shelters, but then we came to the conclusion that this is a sort of landmark for them. Or, maybe, this is a way for a yeti to say something to its congeners.”
Hardest part about sussing out the truth in this front line story? Many local farmers have been confusing Yetis for Wood Goblins. This quote is too good not to re-quote. Prepare yourself…
“Folk beliefs say that the wood goblin is the master of the woods. All animals, even bears, submit to him. The wood goblin has a strong hypnotic power, thus he is not afraid of any animal.”
Special guest Dr. Karen Stollznow helps the gang plan a heist for a sacred Yeti paw. Brian and Justin get enormous glee from watching Andrew get corrected. The ethics of eating canned whale meat is debated. We also find out how ready and willing we are to be corrupted by the dark side.
Then a super secret plan (shhhh!) is hatched to get prominent skeptics tripped out on psychoactives so we can see what happens when they have their own double rainbow experience.
We are proud to introduce our new YouTube series, WeirdThingsTV. If you dig this, please feel free to subscribe on YouTube so you don’t miss an episode.
Next clips will come out Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
