In My Day We Had a Cough Drop for Dinner…and Liked It. [Weirdest Survival Stories]
Thursday, June 17th, 2010Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Survival Stories ever told.
I hope you guys don’t mind, but I’m going to get a little personal today.
You see, I work from home an awful lot and sometimes when I’m busy I tend to forgo other important tasks…like eating. It’s not that unusual for me to take my first meal around 5pm.
Why 5pm?
Because that’s about the time when, no matter how focused I am, my body starts to turn inward on itself, screaming for sustenance and threatening to begin digesting my stomach lining as punishment for my gastronomical indiscretions. It’s the time when, completely without permission from my brain, my stomach orders my hand to start dialing for pizza. It’s the time when the spasms start and I end up in the fetal position begging my non-existent intern to bring me a sandwich.
5pm.
Tillie Tooter, an 83-year-old woman survived being trapped in her car with only a cough drop, a peppermint and a stick of chewing gum as rations for THREE DAYS. There are a few items here that I feel are worth reiterating.
1. 83.
2. Cough drop, peppermint, stick of gum.
3. THREE DAYS.
4. Upside-down in a tree. (Did I not mention that part?)
Thanks to a hit and run while traveling on the freeway at three in the morning Tillie’s car was pushed off of a raised freeway in South Florida landing 40 feet below in the clutches of a mangrove tree. She dangled above the swamp for three days before a passing landscaper noticed her Toyota Tercel. (Possibly the most disappointing fact of the story. Shouldn’t some little old lady who’s tough enough to survive stuck in a tree for three days be driving a Hummer or something? At least a Suburu, right?!)
In addition to her, ahem…food, (which, let’s be honest here, is probably just the stuff she’d been keeping in her purse since 1983 to punish any grandkids who whine about wanting a snack.) she collected rainwater in her quilted steering wheel cover and a pair of socks she hung the window.
Also worth mentioning, she had no internet service in the tree and I could find no information either confirming or denying whether she was the daughter of Wenseslao Moguel, mother of Ming Ming and/or owner of Mike the Headless Chicken.
Do you know any old ladies that could take Tillie in a bare knuckled brawl? How does her story stack up against the rest of this week’s weird survival stories? Seriously, a Tercel?!
