Underwater Teen Satanist School Girls Terrorizing Africa

Posted by on October 3rd, 2011

If you think American schools have problems, take a look at Botswana:

Schools in Botswana are infested with devil worshippers … Operating more like drug-dealers, they get instructions from up the rungs of the ladder of Satanism. And travelling to meet their leaders is not an issue as they can simply summon a slice of bread, a needle, a blanket or mealie meal bag and instruct it to take them to the depths of the ocean where they hold meetings with their leaders and receive instructions. The girls even have the power to resurrect dead bodies after they exhume them and then take them along to the meetings in the ocean. … The devil worshippers said they often find willing recruits among youngsters because they are fond of alcohol and always engaged in brawls after bingeing. At school, devil worshippers are encouraged and even participate in fights in which blood ends up being shed. Then, when nobody sees them, they lap up the blood of the protagonists.

An underwater conspiracy of portkey-wielding schoolgirls who are obsessed with the dark arts are terrorizing the impoverished African nation. Neither The Boy Who Lived nor You Know Who could be reached for comment.

[The Monitor]

2 Responses to “Underwater Teen Satanist School Girls Terrorizing Africa”

  1. Leon Says:

    Best headline ever!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Clearly, this looks like a job for Aquaman!