Fish Are Friends! Until Their Evil Counterparts Begin Eating Your Face!

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012
tumor shrimp with no eyes.jpg

We’ve seen it time and time again in spectacularly bad science fiction grist ripe for SyFy’s cheesy flick of the week: A chemical spill causes normally docile creatures to mutate into larger-than-life versions of themselves. Sharks mix with octopi and take to land to wreak havoc amongst us soft squishy fleshlings or giant cockroaches will march on Cincinnati.

Sounds like a fun, popcorn-munchin’ night of mindless pop culture.

Too bad it’s actually happening on a small, strange scale.

Something (LSU professors are pinning the blame on the BP oil spill) is causing mutations straight out of a Roger Corman flick.

Recently the biggest piece o’ strange to get snagged in fisherman’s nets are shrimp… shrimp with no eyes or eye sockets (insert dramatic music here)!

Other fun variations on things we all know and love but that’s slowly becoming the basic building blocks of tiny nightmares are crabs with no claws, crabs encased in soft shells, shrimps with tumors on their heads, fish with no gill flaps or sealed eyes and fish with no trace that it ever had eyes at all.

What’s even more fun and waiting for a script-writer to embrace is the FDA ensuring these things are absolutely, perfectly safe for all of us to consume. That is until five years from now when we all start sprouting extra appendages and begin laying eggs to complete the birth cycle of humanity’s new masters.

[The Week]