In a move only he could’ve seen coming…you know….because he’s who he is…the Amazing Kreskin has opened the gates on a new dating site…

A site for “enthusiasts of the paranormal, the unexplained, the mystical, the implausible…”

While we’re pretty sure the guy-to-girl ratio will probably be a lot like a magic club, Kreskin is predicting (yeah…we know) great things for the site:

“I have a feeling that it’s going to take on a dimension that I never realized.”

With Kreskin’s foresight that online graphic design will eventually swing back around to the geocities-era of the internet, the site will probably lure a niche market of older folks who have seen, captured or smelled a bigfoot or been abducted by time-traveling Atlanteans who need love just like the rest of us.

Which brings up some questions: What sort of beings are looking for love? Will they all be human or other things in diguise? Are there vampires and werewolves worried about the fall out from a public tryst in light of the Twilight movies? Are there off-world species seeking to swing it with a human for a cheap thrill on their way to somewhere else? Are the reptilians using the site for some sinister plot? Will other creatures find that someone special without having to brave daylight, pitchforks and torches?

Or is it just a bunch of lonely, probably really nice people just looking for a little companionship in a big and often harsh, ridiculing reality?

Answers will only come with time…

And filling out the sign up page.

[I09]

That nightmarish thing in the photo above isn’t a screen-used graboid prop from Tremors.

Nope.

That’s an actual creature that lives in our oceans…you know…that giant mass of water that you swim in when you vacation?

Caught off the coast of Australia by a fishing trawler, that thing is a six-foot long monster known as a frilled shark.

Frilled sharks haven’t evolved in almost 80 million years simply because a nightmare is always going to be a nightmare. On very rare occasions frilled sharks are found close to the surface because they’re dying. “Close to the surface” is around 4,000 feet below the surface.

Simon Boag of the trawling company that caught the creature:

“It does look 80 million years old. It looks prehistoric. It looks like it’s from another time! It has 300 teeth over 25 rows, so once you’re in that mouth, you’re not coming out.”

According to a marine conservation society in California there is a report of a frilled shark from 1880 measuring in at 25 feet.

Next time you go splashing around in the ocean for fun just remember…

These live there.

[NatGeo]

Jonathon Bright, a paranormal investigator who’s started adding ‘Monster Hunter’ to his resume – because who WOULDN’T want ‘Monster Hunter’ on their resume – has started sharing a photo that might be the famous camera-shy creature that has become legendary.

“Three years ago, I came to Scotland to investigate the Nessie legend and took thousands of photographs. It took me six months to look at them all and I found this one which I showed when I spoke at the Scottish Paranormal Festival in Stirling this week. After I had finished there, I came north to spend more time searching for an answer to the Nessie story. My picture is a talking point. Some people will say it is physical and the monster, others will say it is a trick of the water, others will say it is a hoax.”

It would be great if this was in fact the mysterious animal that everyone says lives in the Loch.

It would be even greater if a professional photographer with ninja-like focusing skills and a decent camera would add “Monster Hunter’ to their resume.

[The Scotsman]

Recently a company called Legend Tracker, that’s created an augmented reality adventure application, put out a call for video submissions to anyone who had footage of what they thought might be everyone’s favorite, but annoyingly elusive, cryptid…Bigfoot.

They’ve done this before…but this time, after sifting through hundreds of submissions, two crazy videos have come out on top.

The first video is from a couple hiking in the area of Mission, British Columbia. While shooting some scenery, they noticed something moving on a hilltop nearby. Is it bigfoot, Rob Zombie on a nature walk or just a feral Kardashian?

That first video is your typical “I spotted Bigfoot!” video…however…the video below, shot by a group of tourists, is probably the weirdest video of an alleged sasquatch because we’re not sure what’s going on in it.

It was sent in as a submission for Bigfoot footage but it looks more like someone’s drunk, hairy, mountain-man uncle who just dropped his moonshine jug or possibly Chaka from the original Land of the Lost. At the end of the video the alleged bigfoot appears to threaten or make a move toward the tourist because everyone starts running around like frightened Muppets. This video was also shot in the Mission, British Columbia area.

[Metro Co UK]

Russia has become a hotbed of Yeti activity over the last couple of weeks. And what’s more awesome than seeing a Yeti?

Seeing a group of Yeti.

In those last couple of weeks the sightings of Bigfoot’s Siberian cousin, two have included multiple Yeti hanging out together.

Sighting #1:

“We shouted, ‘Do you need help?’ They rushed away, all in fur, walking on two legs, making their way through the bushes and with two other limbs, straight up the hill. The person who made the report added: “It could not be bears, as the bear walks on all fours, and they ran on two. Then they were gone.”

Sighting #2:

“We saw some tall animals looking like people. Our binoculars were broken and did not let us see them sharply. We waved at the animals but they did not respond, then quickly ran back into the forest, walking on two legs. We realized that they were not in dark clothes but covered by dark fur. They did walk like people.”

Sighting #3:

A forestry inspector reported seeing a yeti in a national park, a government official said. Sergei Adlyakov, the inspector who reported the incident said: “The creature did not look like a bear and quickly disappeared after breaking some branches off the bushes.”

Are Yeti growing in number? Have they just gotten numb to the whole ‘being spotted’ thing? Only one man may know the answer because he’s Russia’s Yeti expert. Igor Burtsev is the head of the International Center of Hominology and is very excited to learn more about the recent blossoming of Yeti activity. Burtsev also claims that there is an active population of about 30 of the creatures living in the Kemerovo region of Russia.

He said: “We have good evidence of the yeti living in our region, and we have heard convincing details from experts elsewhere in Russia and in the U.S. and Canada.

[Fox News]

His name is Goatman. He is the Carly Rae Jepsen of Cryptids. So new. So hot.

So… Goatman.

Pictures of the possible genetic freak have circulated amongst various blogs. Local authorities are at a loss. We certainly hope that any reader in the Utah area is ready to try and hunt down this dynamo scrambling up and down the craggy hills.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But everybody, go Goatman crazy!

[Cryptomundo]

You can all rest easy now.

NOAA, a government body that apparently has a lot of time on their hands, have recently laid to rest the idea that mermaids might actually exist.

According to NOAA? They don’t.

Thanks, NOAA…you’ve single-handedly just slapped several million little girls who adorably talk-sing ‘Part of Your World’ and dress up like Ariel right in their precious, red-wigged face and told them to “Knock it OFF!”

After a recent faux documentary called “Mermaids: The Body Found” aired on Animal Planet, NOAA decided it was time to put this silliness to rest once and for all.

“Mermaids: The Body Found” took small truths and sort of expanded upon them keeping the show just within the bounds of plausibility. Much like the “Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction” ‘documentary’ that aired on television in the 90s or going even further back to the original mayhem-causing broadcast of “War of the Worlds”, “The Body Found” sauntered up to the wall where science fiction and science fact eyeball one another and occasionally hi-five each other.

The mix of vague fact and more exciting fiction was just enough of a mix to get NOAA’s imagination police flustered enough to step in and settle this whole thing once and for all.

In a post titled “No Evidence of Aquatic Humanoids Has Ever Been Found,” NOAA states that:

The belief in mermaids may have arisen at the very dawn of our species. Magical female figures first appear in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ago, when modern humans gained dominion over the land and, presumably, began to sail the seas. Half-human creatures, called chimeras, also abound in mythology — in addition to mermaids, there were wise centaurs, wild satyrs, and frightful minotaurs, to name but a few. But are mermaids real? No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found.

NOAA has also stepped up to swing a bat at the Lost City of Atlantis and the Bermuda Triangle.

NOAA’s statement about ‘No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found” shows that they’re oblivious to our shark-people ancestors we posted about on this very blog.

Up next for NOAA? Proving that the Creature from the Black Lagoon was a dude in a rubber suit and that Davy Jones really doesn’t have a locker.

Release the Kraken! Oh…wait…

[Discovery News]

It’s finally happened. The endless bleating of Boing Boing commenters has summoned a creature neither God nor man will lay claim to.

The sheeple are here.

Although many surely thought sheeple was only a derogatory slur for those blind to the bought and paid for government controlling our every move, the truth is far more sinister. Nigerian locals believe a sheep gave birth to a sheep/people hybrid this week.

Garba Aminu, a commercial motorcycle rider, averred: “This is an abomination in our land. To see a sheep give birth to a half human being is a mystery and that shows how terrible some people are. It is unimaginable that some people will be having intercourse with animals.”

Of course, doctors (no doubt in the employ of the Federal Reserve) claim this is simply a horrific deformity and not a mutant sent to open the eyes of a weary proletariat. But those of us paying attention know far better.

The sheeple are here! Wake up other sheeple that are actually humans! The truth is right in front of you.

[The Blaze]

The Japanese earthquakes and resulting tsunamis dominated the news in early 2011 bringing horrifying picture of destruction and tragic loss of life. But in the rebuilding phase, a strange side effect emerged. Survivors of the disaster reported seeing a larger than usual amount of unexplained activity in the sky.

UFOlogists claimed it to be visitors from beyond surveying the damage on Earth. But one man has a different theory: flying cryptids have been unleashed over the Land of the Rising Sun.

The appearance of these atmospheric beasts varies wildly. Accounts have variously described them as amorphous and cloud-like behemoths, finned squid-like creatures, floating jellyfish, translucent, vaporous blobs, amoeba-like organisms, and even dragons. The sizes of atmospheric beasts likewise run the gamut from tiny and bird-like, to gargantuan monsters hundreds of feet long.

…The thing is that earthquakes and tsunamis influence more than just the Earth and the seas. When the powerful earthquake hit Japan on March 11, it not only jolted the Earth, but also shook the skies above. When earthquakes and tsunamis occur, they generate surface motion that in turn can trigger waves that can shoot up all the way to one of the highest parts of the upper atmosphere, to what is known as the ionosphere. These events are known as seismotravelling ionospheric disturbances.

Brent Swancer, writing for Cryptomundo, goes on to note that Japanese earthquakes in 2004 also triggers Sky Beast sightings.

[Cryptomundo]