Inspired by the film Inception. What mysteries lie behind the cats eyes?

Tracking down rumors of a “Spider Forest” in our own South Florida backyard, Weird Things editor Justin Robert Young and myself found ourselves ambushed whereupon Mr. Young was savagely attacked by a spider.  With Mr. Young locked in mortal combat with the beast, it was all I could do to shout encouragement and reach for my iPhone to try to capture the epic battle.  The climax of which is embedded below (Warning: not for the feint of heart).

As soon as we set foot in the forest we got the sense of foreboding that WE DID NOT BELONG THERE.  It wasn’t just the impossible number of spider webs and spiders that covered nearly every square foot of the forest, it was the sense that all of the webs were interconnected into one giant web that we had haplessly found ourselves walking into.  Every footstep into the forest sent a silent vibration on to the meta web letting the spiders know that prey had been ensnared.  A million eyes were upon us…

The deeper we went the darker it became as the foliage began to turn the forest into an arboreal cave.  The other animals one might find in the forest were deathly silent.  They were there to be sure, but moved around with a gallows quietness.  Further in it became apparent that we had stepped into a labyrinth from which we may never emerge.

In the black heart of the forest the attack occurred under most peculiar circumstances.  I was trailblazing and using my height to boldly knock down any webs that would impede our safe passage.  As I scouted ahead I heard a shout from behind.  I turned to see Justin punching into the air in a desperate attempt to defend himself from the vicious beast that was trying to devour him.

The spider moved too quickly to get an accurate description, but it was easily as large as my open hand.  I helplessly watched as the spider flew around Justin using its web to trap him.  No sooner would Justin try to swat at it then would the spider swing to the other side.  It became immediately apparent what the spider’s strategy was; like a great white shark or a crocodile that uses a victim’s thrashing to ensnare them deeper into their jaws, this cunning creature was using Justin’s furious energy to wrap him into its web so tightly there would be no escape and the spider could drain him of his vital life fluids at its leisure.

With the image of a comatose Mr. Young searing into my mind’s eye, knowing the spider’s devious intent to use its victims vain attempts to free himself against him, I knew I had but one solution: Render the panicked Justin Robert Young unconscious lest he trap himself so surely in the creature’s web the only escape would be through the shedding of his mortal coil.

I tried to plan the quickest and most humane strike.  A Ju-Jitsu punch to the head?  A Mui-Tai kick to the chest to knock the wind from his lungs, making him take pause?  All of this made complicated by my admittedly encyclopedic knowledge of martial arts techniques.  Had I wanted to kill my target the choice would have been immediately and the results deadly.  In this instance I deliberated for too long.  For this I apologize to Mr. Young.  My hesitation in striking him unconscious could have cost him is life.  A life I’m no doubt certain he would gladly sacrifice in the service of Weird Things, but a life stricken down too soon no less.

Instinctively pulling my iPhone from my pocket to capture this conflict, the spider suddenly changed its tactics.  It became clear that it had not been aware of my presence.  This is not an uncommon occurrence.  It’s been said that I have a preternaturally stealthy manner not unlike those invisible masters of Ninjitsu.  Some of this is second nature to me, part of it is due to training I received in certain places from people to whom I have sworn secrecy.  Once the spider sensed that I was there and all eight of its cruel eyes were locked on me its attack became a retreat.  In the presence of a greater predator it knew this battle could not be won.  For sure his plan to incapacitate Mr. Young was almost complete, but the moment I materialized into view it knew its hope of devouring Mr. Young unmolested was lost.

As quickly as it appeared, the spider faded back into the forest.  I had to resist every urge to leap off the trail chase after it and kill the beast out of loyalty to my friend, but vengeance had to be put on hold to make sure that Mr. Young was indeed okay.  As we made sure that he hadn’t been bitten and injected with some deadly venom, I realized that chasing after the creature would have been a very bad idea.  Its retreat could have been a ploy to separate the two of us to divide our efforts to defend ourselves.  My bloodlust impulse to seek out the foul creature and drive my fists into it carapace had to be abated.  Now was the time for logic and reason.

We hastily made our exit.

In retrospect we are left with several questions.  Since I was in the advance we know that the spider was laying in wait to attack.  There was no web for Mr. Young to step into.  Was this attack a genuine attempt?  Or was it a feint to test our defenses?  While my catlike ability to prowl unobserved may explain why the spider didn’t sense me and attack, it still doesn’t confidently explain why I wasn’t attacked at any point even though I was in the lead throughout the expedition.

I suspect the ambush was the forest as a whole trying to find out if it could pick off our party one by one from the rear until we were all ensnared.  Unsure of our who or what we were, it sacrificed one spider to find out.  I cannot say for sure what it made of us.  Clearly it saw Mr. Young as prey.  As for myself, I have no idea if it saw me as prey or predator.  I do know that I am happy that we escaped with our lives intact.  And next time, and there will be a next time, we will step into the forest more aware of its treachery and have perhaps some of our own to offer up in response.

In the meantime, although Mr. Young seemed unscathed beyond physical exhaustion from the ordeal, psychological speaking it was quite traumatic.  I know he would appreciate your well wishes to a speedy mental recovery.  Please let him know in the comments below that your thoughts are with him.

Just because cats are trying to take control of our brains doesn’t mean they need them. In this eerie footage we see a cat achieve 3 different gait patterns with NO BRAIN AT ALL! Scientists turned off the cats brain to study how much of an animal’s movement is controlled by thought and how much is simply a mechanical mechanism.

As if we needed another reason to fear cats…

In the 1940′s the archetype of The Mad Scientist was prevalent in all media from movie serials to comic books. Most people didn’t think such characters actually existed, but they instilled fear in the audience who were afraid of science after the advent of the atomic bomb.

Little did they know that over in communist Russia Mad Scientists were hard at work on a freaky Frankenstein-lite experiment.  By hooking the severed head of a dog up to a blood pump the head re-animates and reacts to stimuli.

Uber-creepy, but it does suggest that the Jar Heads featured in Futurama might just exist some day.

Weird Things Live: Hunting the Night Creeper from Andrew Mayne on Vimeo.

Last Monday night in front of a live internet audience we set out to solve the mystery of the Night Creeper. Ghost? Frogman? Or something else? Although we’re pretty sure we figured it out, we haven’t definitively proved our theory. The mystery continues…

Running time 55 minutes.

Check out our photos of the scene on Flickr.

Hans Rollman, professor of Religious Studies at Memorial University of Newfoundland, writing for the Telegram has shared some details about Newfoundland sea monster lore. The best part? These are amphibious man eaters!

A sea creature of considerable ferocity is also known to the Inuit of Labrador. Nennorluk derives its name from the polar bear (Nennok, nanuk), but the Inuktitut affix “luk” indicates its evil intent. One of the earliest mentions of the Labrador Nennorluk appeared in David Crantz’s “History of Greenland.” Crantz, preserving a 1773 tradition from Nain, says that the legendary amphibious creature “hunted and devoured the seals.” Each of its ears was “large enough for the covering of a capacious tent.” Worse yet, the “beast did not scruple to eat human flesh, when he came on shore.”

link: The Telegram – St. John’s, NL: Columns | Newfoundland and Labrador sea monsters

Mark your calendars. August 31st, 2009 may have been the day the insects got the upper hand in their war against mankind.

Reportedly, a truck driver for the Minot Air Force Base 91st Missile Wing lost control of his vehicle when a “large insect” flew into the cab and (attacked) landed on his back.

When one solitary bug accomplishes what all of our enemies combined have been unable to do, it’s time to start buying Raid by the bulk.

‘Large insect’ sparked missile truck’s crash – Military- msnbc.com

If you think the concept hurts your brain, wait until you try reading the article on Pravda.

We think it has something to do with human hybrids, but talks a lot about a dog giving birth to kittens…

Mankind Close to Creating ‘Mananimal’ – Pravda.Ru

It’s the Bo Duke of pork.

Some call it The Cove Pig, the politically minded refer to it as Freedom Pig for it’s uncanny ability to throw off the shackles of an oppressive government and run wild.

The New York Times chronicles the wild adventures of an officially unnamed feral pig, currently clomping through the backwoods of Panama City, FL. Although it’s been spotted many times and even after taken a taser and four tranquilizer darts during one capture attempt last week, the porky rascal continues to steal into the Sunshine State summer with supernatural stamina.

Local paper The News Herald is even keeping a Google Map for reported sightings.

Cove Pig’s elusive nature has earned it a local celebrity with many Northern Florida residents rooting for it to continue evading police capture, which it has successfully for five months and counting. The snap you see to the right are shirts being sold at a local rest stop.

We’re going to keep you up to date on the hunt for this clearly gifted swine.

Few people have found the elusive Giant Palouse Earthworm (GPE for short), a mythical dirt worm allegedly slipping through the soil of Northwestern Idaho and Washington State. Documented collections of the species have only occurred in 1978, 1988, 1990 and 2005.

Some local farmers even compare reported glimpses of the GPE to Elvis sightings.

But that hasn’t stopped a small, vocal contingent from doing anything they can to find more examples of the chubby, 3-foot-long worm. A new expedition is under way which hopes to entice the GPE out of the ground with chemicals and electric shock. Meanwhile, there is a renewed optimism that the GPE can be listed as an endangered species.

Conservation groups quickly petitioned the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to protect the worm as an endangered species, citing as proof the lack of sightings. But the agency said there simply was not enough scientific information to merit a listing.

Conservationists recently filed a second request, saying they had more information. They are also hoping the Obama administration will be more friendly than the Bush administration. The GPE would be the only worm protected as an endangered species.

Doug Zimmer of the Fish and Wildlife Service in Seattle said the agency isn’t ready to comment on the petition.

“It’s always good to see new information and good science on any species,” Zimmer said.

Also, the picture with this story is nowhere near what the GPE really looks like, here is a picture of the only known example of it, it does however look really cool.

In the NBA, they’re called crossovers or ankle breakers. An offensive player moves convincingly enough one way that a defender follows, only to realize he’s been had when the ball handler darts the opposite direction.

Enter the Tentacled Snake: the And 1 Mixtape baller of the Homalaspinae group of colubrids.

As illustrated in this video, TS is known to body fake snakes into fleeing the wrong direction, namely into the predator’s mouth.

Thanks to Weird Things reader Dodd Vickers for the video.

Titled “This is how you suck face.” From Pharyngula.