Today: Golems

A standby of early Jewish legend, Golems – humanoid beings shaped from clay and imbued with a mystical life force – were said to serve holy men, and could be used protect the Jewish people during times of conflict and social unrest. The most famous golem tale is set during a rash of anti-Semitic riots in Prague, where a racist priest incited his followers to storm the Jewish ghettos. In response, Judah Loew ben Bezalel, a powerful Rabbi, summoned a golem and commanded it to defend his people and assist in rebuilding their ruined homes. The golem was so devoted to his protective mission that he began violently attacking Catholic inciters, forcing Bezalel to return him to an inanimate state.

According to golem aficionados, a regular human can only shape the Earth into a figure of a man; a practiced, fervent Rabbi can, through a sacred ritual – usually a Hebrew inscription etched into the creature’s head or onto a scrap of parchment pressed into the golem’s body – give the figure life as a conscripted servant of God; God, and only God, can provide a soul, thus converting the being from an earthen grunt into a free-thinking man. Scripture actually portrays Adam as the first golem, a status he retained for only the briefest 12 hours between his construction and his ensoulment.

Not all golem lore is all half-guilty persecutor-maiming victory and triumph–even in the 1600s, many Jewish scholars felt that the ability to divinely summon life was a power that only God should possess. As these authors transcribed their interpretations of Jewish legends, classic golem stories became less about triumphant brandishing of sacred energy and more about the steep price that comes with divine dabbling, a narrative that Mary Shelly echoed in response to the foolhardy bravura of intermittently resurrection-obsessed Romantic Age science. It’s these tales of well-meaning hubris run amok that German filmmaker Paul Wegener embraced in his golem trilogy, the last of which, 1920’s “The Golem: How He Came into the World” immortalized the image of Bezalel’s creature setting fire to the ghetto and laying waste to Prague’s already-suffering Jewish community.

Wednesday – Zombies

In 1837, something dark and quick began hunting women on the streets of London, pouncing upon them from the shadows and going to work on their clothes with razor talons and flaming breath, only to disappear seconds later, leaping silently over impossibly high hedges and rooftops, leaving behind only the shrill, hollow ghost of maniacal laughter and, of course, a panicked victim.

Descriptions of Spring Heeled Jack varied over the 65 years that he laid siege to London’s gas lit back alleys and dark urban bowers, but early witnesses (somewhat) consistently agree that he sported large pointed ears, an equally pointy nose, bulging eyes, sharp claws, the ability to breathe fire and a penchant for agile escapes via inhumanly powerful jumps (hence his media-coined moniker).

John Thomas Haines’ 1840 play, Spring-Heeled Jack, the Terror of London, marked the first official appearance of Jack in a popular entertainment (he had already become a staple of various Punch and Judy street puppet shows), which was followed by a rash of both sightings and corresponding sensationalized fictionalizations throughout the 1840s and ‘50s. In the name of both topicality and word economy, however, we aim to focus on the years prior to Jack’s assimilation into the everyday pop cultural dialogue of Victorian England.

Accepting, as many experts do, that the initial attacks between 1837 and 1838 were perpetrated by a still-anonymous (though one Henry de La Poer Beresford, dubbed “The Mad Marquess,” is a prime suspect) malicious, costumed prankster, and noting that the perpetrator’s image and misdeeds became the stuff of pop culture legend, the question must be posed: What overriding cultural factors contributed the specific physical attributes that the misogynistic hoaxer built into his monster? In short, why was a quick-footed, fire-breathing demon the obvious avatar for blind dread and mass hysteria in 19th century London?

While some details remain fuzzy (one witness reported that Jack actually had pointy ears while another insisted that he wore a large helmet with two points on it), it’s a given that, with the claws and the various points and the long black cloak, Jack’s intention was to appear as much like the devil (or some other lesser, equally stereotypical demon) as possible. With the post-enlightenment era in full swing and the upper-class spiritualist revival still pending, it’s easy to imagine Jack’s rationale: the upper class is retreating into academies and coffee houses to argue over the need for faith and spirituality in a supposedly enlightened society, while the lower class, fearing both the moral and technical ambiguities of science, keeps a firm (but, suddenly, somewhat unsure) hold on not only religion, but also folklore, both of which are rife with demonic and satanic imagery. Imagine being relieved of the possibility of eternal damnation by an academically driven cultural reformation centered on reason and the explicability of the natural world, only to be attacked by a fire-breathing monster. Invoke the devil at a time when society is certain of his existence, and it only serves as terrifying confirmation – invoke the devil at a time when his existence is in question, and chaos ensues.

Moreover, Jack targeted women. Barring all discussion of spiritual terror or academic ennui, the largest threat to women in 19th century England was the prevailing social hierarchy. Women were often married off to distant relations, to the highest bidder or to the highest social advantage, meaning, in many cases, to strangers or casual acquaintances. Innate to English womanhood was the knowledge that, someday, you will leave your home and move in with a husband you don’t know outside of carefully regulated social gatherings and courtship rituals (if even those) – a man whose true personality and domestic demeanor are a complete mystery. You know, and fear, that your husband could turn out to be a slovenly boor, an inattentive malcontent or, worse, a temperamental, abusive monster. There’s something, then, of the hidden evil in men, worn outwardly by Jack, that would seem particularly frightening to the young women he victimized. Admittedly, it’s ridiculous to suggest that Jack’s victims, or Jack himself, consciously contemplated this dimension of Spring Heeled Jack’s imposingness, but the obvious sex profiling that was paramount to Jack’s victim selection justifies the point, and it’s worth considering the perpetual state of psychological duress that the patriarchy held women in, even before someone donned finger blades and started leaping out of darkened alleys.

And what of the spring heels? By 1837, the industrial revolution was enjoying its heyday in London, including the mass production of all nature of machine components, like coiled springs, which began being manufactured in bulk during the 1780s. The wide availability of mechanical sundries, combined with an alleged spate of urban legends involving the devil pursuing a man over the rooftops of the city, could have easily led Jack to the idea of constructing some kind of springed footwear (the first patent for spring shoes wasn’t filed until 1889, but the materials required to build them existed for decades prior) as a means of further solidifying his demonic persona by increasing his jumping ability. Though the construction of a viable pair of such shoes, equipped for both running and jumping, would require certain metallurgic skills and resources, it seems that he did have metal claws constructed for his fingertips. At the same time, Jack’s agility could have just as easily been an inadvertent concoction of hysterical witnesses – an attempt to rationalize the sheer suddenness of the assaults – that was then co-opted and reiterated by policemen who now had an excuse for their inability to apprehend jumping Jack. And though it was two 1837 assaults involving clawing and leaping that earned Spring Heeled Jack his name, it was two 1838 attacks involving fire breathing that transformed the public’s general wariness into bona fide panic.

Most theories of Jack’s true identity cite that he probably came from an upper class, if not aristocratic, background, and his tendency toward flame exhalation only reinforces this notion. The 17th and 18th centuries had seen two prominent British fire eaters gain notoriety among the aristocracy, and, during the 1820s, fire eating and breathing became a common popular upper-class entertainment. A growing fascination with the strange and seemingly mystic cultures of Britain’s Eastern colonies was mounting, and, with the Mughal Empire defeated and India under complete company control, more and more British noblemen were travelling throughout India, where they were captivated by the wondrous and unfamiliar practices of the Hindus, including fire eating and fire breathing, which some Hindu sects utilized in performances demonstrating spiritual attainment rites. It was the perfect time for an aspiring prankster to see and learn the art of fire-breathing, which the returning young aristocrats had re-purposed from a religious ritual into a cheap parlor trick.

While many working class Londoners would have been altogether ignorant of the practice, even those who had seen a fire breathing performance in a theatrical context would be wholly unprepared to see the art used randomly (and threateningly) on the streets of London, and (even if the person performing wasn’t dressed as a demon) would find it frightening. Take the analog of today’s guerilla magic fad – guerilla magic works precisely because, by removing the traditional physical environs of a performance, the intangible barrier between performer and audience is shattered, creating extremes of both surprise and veracity that don’t exist naturally within the confines of traditional spectatorship. Jack exploited this fact to add the last (and most convincing) attribute to his marauding devil – hellfire.

As if all of the physical trappings of a demon weren’t enough to send the women of London into a collective fit, Jack added one more thing: self-awareness. On February 19th, Jane Alsop heard at knock at the door of her father’s house. Upon opening it, a man concealed by shadows told her he was a police officer and asked her to fetch a light. “We have caught Spring Heeled Jack here in the lane” he said. Upon handing him a candle, the man threw off his cloak, revealing pointed ears and bulging eyes. He spewed flame towards the girl and then began to tear at her clothes and her skin with his claws until, finally, her sister came to her rescue, and the assailant fled.

To think of a monster that haunts the dark streets and stalks prey out of an unquenchable, instinctual thirst for blood or violence is scary, but the idea of a creature calling out its own name, a name assigned to it by its victims, as a means of exploiting that fear, is something all together more terrifying. As much as you can blame popular culture for later propagating the legend of Spring Heeled Jack through Penny Dreadfuls and stage plays, leading to further sightings and, supposedly, copy cats, it was only weeks after appearing in the news that the man who was Jack began propagating his own legend, breathing the three chilling syllables – Spring Heeled Jack – into the air of a warm London home, before spitting fire and baring his claws and insisting with every pouncing, cackling ounce of his being that this monster was real.

In retrospect, though, away from the fog-shrouded gas lights and the sharp echo of boots on cobbled streets sounding out into the wind-haunted spaces between buildings, it’s this self-awareness (self-centeredness, really) that most belies the true mortal nature of Spring Heeled Jack. After all, Bigfoot isn’t known for pyrotechnic displays and sponsorship deals, and Nessie has yet to strike poses mid back flip. Jack may as well have said, “Pay no attention to the man behind the cloak.”

Matt Finley is a regular contributor to Weird Things and is currently based in Cleveland. His works can be found at Finfizzler.wordpress.com.

During the course of this holiday weekend packed with alcohol, fire works and alcohol it’s likely you worried about your mortality. Well take heart in the tale of James Leininger, a young boy whose family claims he is the reincarnated soul of a World War II fighter pilot.

Leininger first began spooking his parents with a preternatural understanding of antique military aircraft, followed by gory crayon drawings of aerial battles with Japanese airplanes which gave way to horrific night terrors involving a violent, suffocating death inside a cockpit. Little Jimmy’s parents eventually narrowed down which soldier’s soul was trapped inside their son after the boy mentioned a specific aircraft carrier he was stationed on.

They’ve since “confirmed” their findings with the pilot’s family and war buddies.

Also, you can read about this experience in their NEW BOOK Soul Survivor AVAILABLE NOW at all your finer literary retailers.

Thanks to Weird Things reader John Houdi for the tip on this story.

You thought the Catholic Church was done persecuting witches. Well, they are at it again, this time in Stockport, UK.

High Priestess Amethyst Selmeselene (also known as Sandra Davis, grandmother of 11) attempted to rent out “Our Lady’s Social Club” for her group’s annual Witch’s Ball. When she went to pay for the venue she had secured, she was turned away and told that the Roman Catholic Church, which owns the facility, had blocked her from renting the center.

Her goal was to attract a crowd of people to do obscene and ungodly things like have a buffet dinner and dance to an ABBA tribute band.
Though we can fault High Priestess Selmeselene for her taste in music, we can’t fault her for wanting to get down and have a good time with her women’s group.

The Roman Catholic Diocese of Shewsbury told Ananova News that “Parish centers under our auspices let their premises on the understanding users and their organisations are compatible with the ethos and teachings of the Catholic church.” And apparently that means a no go for pagan partying.

When will the Catholics leave those poor witches alone? When will they finally be free to dance to bad eighties music while talking shop around a bubbling cauldron? I guess the Church decided that if they can’t burn them, they should at least be able to ban them from their rec. center.

photo credit: ?Lady M?

Santa Maria Stella Maris church in Fiumicino, Italy has decided to stop offering holy water for members of the public to bless with, amid fears that the water may be being stolen for satanic purposes. Walter Palombi, Parish Priest told Italian Newspapers that:

“We have motives to believe that these are used for a ‘black mass’ (satanic mass). Usually the person who carries out these practices needs items that are ‘blessed’ as well as holy water.”

So no more holy water for the faithful Italians of Fiumicino. Satanic ritual scares became popular in Italy during the 1980’s and 90’s, more recently in 2004, fears of satanic ritual cults have sprung up again.

Vyacheslav Agapov and Konstantin Chiliskin were unsuccessful, amateur treasure hunters from the Kaluga Region of Russia, who were searching for buried coins with a metal detector in Velino Village. Behind the long standing Velino Church, built in 1772, they struck pay day, or more accurately a jewel studded pot that contained religious icons. On the side of the pot was an engraving that read: ““Property of Velino Church”.

Both men immediately felt uneasy about the previous owner of their big find. After all, ancient Russian armies are one thing, god is in a league unto his own. But Apapov and Chiliskin did not let their apprehensions stop them from calling a friend named Roman, who immediately contacted antique dealer who offered the treasure hunters $20,000 for everything they had, no questions asked.

Moments went by as Roman, Agapov and Chiliskin tried to decide what to do with their loot, then apparently god stepped in to assist in their decision making process. Roman reported hearing a mysterious voice and feeling someone hit him on the back of the shoulder repeatedly. After this incident, the group decided it might be best to return the religious relics to the church.

You’ve all heard of the infamous case of the Virgin Mary Toast, but what happens when a holy image is seared into the cooking surface instead of the food? According to The Associated Press:

“The hottest thing on the griddle at the Las Palmas restaurant these days isn’t the food. It’s the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that a cook says she saw in the griddle. Restaurant manager Brenda Martinez said more than a hundred people have flocked to the small town of Calexico on the California-Mexico border to gaze at the image since it was discovered as the griddle was being cleaned.”

There have been no photo released as of yet, because the griddle in question has been “enshrined” in a storage closet for the time being. But if you need corroboration, a Mexican Wrestler, known as Mr. Tempest, stopped by the restaurant with a group of other Luchadors on his way to a bout, and called the griddle a miracle. So to give you an idea of what we’re talking about here, on the right is the Virgin Mary Toast that sold for $28,000 on eBay. We hope this incident gets just as many spoofs as the toast, but images on a griddle seem a little harder to replicate than images on a piece of bread.

I know, I know, we thought it was weird for the Pope to be in Australia as well. Wait a minute, that’s no Pope. That’s no Pope at all. That’s just a wily man protesting the Pope’s visit during World Youth Day. Charges were dropped earlier this week against Ian Bryce, the perpetrator of the hoax, who took to the streets of Sydney in his makeshift Pope Mobile to protest the Pontiff’s arrival. He had been formally charged with distracting motorists on the day of his protest, so we’re sure that all of you out there who were rooting for Ian will be most pleased to hear the court’s decision.

You’d think the Catholic Church would be more supportive of its faith healing clergy members. A couple of days ago, Bishop John Baptist Kaggwa of Masaka, Uganda, suspended local Sacristan Mr. Barnabas Kazibwe Mutume from his priestly duties. Why? Because of his purported ability to heal the sick and downtrodden with prayer. News of Mutume’s miraculous healing powers has spread by word of mouth, causing those in need of medical attention to try out spiritual healing in desperation. And thousands of all denominations have flocked to his makeshift church to be healed.

What is his secret healing method you ask? He simply prays for them, reciting holy words familiar to the Catholic Faith. But he also encourages them to pray for themselves, giving other Catholics prayers to recite on their own and encouraging Muslims and Protestants to pray in their own way.

Protestants and Muslims and faith healers, oh my! Needless to say, all this interfaith hubbub did not sit well with the Catholic Church. According to the Sunday Monitor:

John Baptist Kaggwa…says [Mutume's] healing powers are not in line with the Catholic doctrine and that he is increasingly finding it hard to guide him…On March 14, bishop Kaggwa put a ban on the pilgrimages by all Catholics, warning that whoever goes there to pray or to seek help would be suspended from sacramental life and in the event of their death no Catholic prayers would be said during their burial.

Harsh Kaggwa, real harsh. Even so, there are no shortage of healed people willing to vouch for Mutume’s gift from god, even if the Pontiff and his posse aren’t down with it. The Church put together a crack squad of priests to monitor the miracles of Mutume and in part, based their ban on lack of substantiating evidence that Mutume’s miracles heal anyone, making the Catholic authorities the unlikely skeptics.

-For anecdotes and reports of Mutume’s miracles, see the original Sunday Monitor Article.

Pilgrims have been flocking to the small, Central Mexican town Muñoz de Domingo Arenas to witness a reported miracle at a burger shack. But are the fries really just that good, or is there an apparition of Jesus reflected in the glass window of the building? You guessed it, it’s the latter. We think the below quote from the Latin American Herald sums it up nicely:

“The image can only be seen at night because it is produced by the reflection cast by a lamp of a post and the shadow of a tree, said the daily Reforma, which published a photo of the place with the image and the pilgrims in front of it… Meanwhile, hamburgers and hot-dog sales have boomed thanks to the faithful flocking in.”

It makes good sense from a practical viewpoint to have a miracle at a burger joint. If you want your spiritual and stomach needed sated in one go, but don’t have the time or money to go see Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, then Muñoz de Domingo Arenas is the place for you.