It was announced last week that Think Geek would soon be selling branded breakfast Star Wars breakfast drinks including Dark Side Coffee, Hoth Cocoa and Dagobah Green Tea. But that’s not nearly the weirdest food tie in to the most iconic SciFi franchise of all time.

Yoda Approved Cup Of Noodles

Although not branded specifically, Yoda did hawk the classic boil n’ eat treat loved by stoners world wide in this commercial. What did you think he ate in exile for all those years? It wasn’t like there was a Chick-fil-a around the corner.

Carmel Corn Tubs

The force is with you. And so is that kernel in your teeth that you ate like five hours ago.

Tuna Fish Disco

We are pretty sure this isn’t officially sanctioned by Pope Lucas but it is too awesome not to post. We could have solved this whole galactic rebellion over a nice can of tuna. Disco style.

Everyday this week…Brett Rounsaville brings us the Weirdest Tirades ever thrown.

Ho HO! You say it’s Tuesday night already? You say, where are Brett’s posts?

Well, to you I say, “Wait…what? Seriously? Tuesday? When the hell did that happen?”

Here goes nothing! In honor of “friend of the blog” Mel Gibson’s latest poorly thought out tirade, this week we’ll be looking at some of the weirdest Jekyll and Hyde-esque bouts of rage you’ve ever seen…er, read. (Although you could argue Mel was probably more of a Hyde and Hyder moment.)

First up, Melodi Dushane!

What sent her over the edge? Was it residual anger directed at her parents for spelling her name wrong on her birth certificate, thereby sentencing her to an entire lifetime of leaning over the counter to watch the clerk as he takes down her information, knowing full well she’d have to insist, “No, no. It’s with an ‘I’…”?

Was it an uncontrollable hatred for that guy on the Promenade who told her she looked like a model and for a scant $500 dollars he could get her some “cheap” headshots that would be guaranteed to rocket her heretofore non-existant modeling career into the same eschelon as the likes of Twiggy and Zsa-Zsa Gabor, only to present her with the photo on the right.

Nope. It was Chicken McNuggets.

More specifically, it was a lack of Chicken McNuggets. And as everyone knows, the only appropriate response to a shortage of McNuggets is to hulk out and punch out the drive-thru after smacking the nearest McDonald’s employee in the face.

Yeah. She did that.

The end.

I know this is technically weird rage week…but does anyone out there have any great fast food related stories? When I was researching this one I just kept thinking of when I was that jerk high school kid who always ordered, “a large napkin and diet water…that’ll be all.”

This past Friday North Korea announced a new “Super Drink” that purports to give consumers a longer and healthier life.  The drink is made from 30 different plants and contains 60 different “micro-elements” to allegedly  multiply brain cells, reduce geriatric diseases, protect skin, and reduce the effects of aging.

This is all according to the North Korean Government’s news agency so stay skeptical, but the product does claim no side-effects. Considering it’s basically a bunch of plants thrown in a blender that’s probably true, but don’t be surprised if you start glowing in the dark from either awesome new super powers or radiation poisioning.

Who wants to try it first?

[BBC]

Alison Smith Reports:

The United States Food and Drug Administration, apparently bored to tears by microbial face paint contamination, took a stand against General Mills in a warning issued on 5 May 2009 for claims made by the #1 toddler finger food – Cheerios.

The FDA’s warning stated that the claims made by General Mills regarding the health benefits of eating Cheerios (specifically, that doing so lowers cholesterol and prevents heart disease) would qualify Cheerios as a drug. Ignoring all the fun drug slang phrases I can come up with for this (“Dude, I’m so Cheerioed”), let’s get to the heart of the issue here.

First of all, a note to crappy researchers like David Theroux of The Independent Institute and Behind Blue Lines – oh my God, please Google before posting.

Theroux stated in his post:

According to CBS News, now the FDA has sent a letter to General Mills, the makers of Cheerios, warning them to stop including health claims in their advertising not because they are false, but because such claims make Cheerios a “drug” which “may not be legally marketed with the above claims in the United States without an approved new drug application.”

Mr. Theroux… let’s talk about regulatory institutions in the United States. The Food and Drug Administration of the United States regulates things like food, cosmetics, medical devices, veterinary medicine, etc, etc. They do not give a damn about advertising – false or otherwise. That falls under the purview of the Federal Trade Commission. The FDA is not concerned with how Cheerios is advertised, but how it is branded – and only researches advertising for a product if they are deciding whether to treat a product as a food or a drug… which, you may have noticed, is precisely what happened here. Additionally, the FDA didn’t even really need to look at Cheerios advertising. The claim is, after all, handily printed directly on the Cheerios box. That’s not advertising. That’s labeling.

And no one ever said the claims Cheerios makes are false. In fact, General Mills claims to have conducted a double-blind study of 135 individuals on Cheerios’ ability to lower cholesterol (though they have not offered the publication that contained the study).

As for the folks at Behind Blue Lines – well, they said the following:

At the rate we’re going, apples will be deemed an unapproved drug because of the old saying ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’.

No, Behind Blue Lines, that’s not the case at all. The FDA would, however, go after Dole if they put on their apple bags, “Also cures leukemia!”

The FDA’s definition for what constitutes a drug is as follows:

The FD&C Act defines drugs, in part, by their intended use, as “articles intended for use in the diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease” and “articles (other than food) intended to affect the structure or any function of the body of man or other animals.”

If General Mills says “Hey, our cereal prevents heart disease!” then they’d better damn well publish their clinical study and fill out that drug application unless you want there to be a bunch of dead people who say with their last dying breath “Screw you, Cheerios.”

Yeah, it’s totally weird that the FDA is this concerned with cereal, but that’s why they exist. I cannot fathom of a person who would eat Cheerios in lieu of taking medication, but then again, I know people go for chiropractic, and we all know that’s bull hockey.