Jason has killed a lot of folks with a lot of different tools. His victims may wonder, “Who is this man? And why is he murdering me?” Meanwhile, we the viewers want to know, “What is that tool he’s using? And what’s its history?”

Wonder no longer.

Today: Pitchfork

As used by Jason in: Friday the 13th Part III

Victim(s): Fox (throat stab), Loco (chest stab)

The pitchfork is a classic agricultural tool known for its long, sturdy handle and sharp, unyielding tines. These handy farming implements first became common in the middle ages, when the entire tool, including its pointy end bits, were fashioned out of wood.

Guess what! All sorts of crazy materials have been used to make pitchforks – Alloys. Iron. Even bamboo! I would like a bamboo pitchfork. What kind do you want?

If the sight of Jason driving these tines deep into the chest of that incorrigible Loco feels more naturalistic than his spear gun attacks or that part in Jason X with the liquid nitrogen, it’s because the pitchfork is a classic weapon of the blue-collar striver. Farmers who couldn’t afford guns, but used pitchforks to lift and pitch hay or grapes or dung, would often repurpose these pronged implements to lift and pitch The Man as if he were just another dung-soaked hay bale sitting atop a pile of grapes. Look no further than every angry mob scene ever to see how a mud-caked pitchfork sits in the hands of a downtrodden irate homesteader as snugly as a washboard in the skilled mitts of a jug band percussionist. So don’t be stealing no pumpkins now, y’hear?

Guess what! In England, pitchforks are called “prongs.” In Ireland, four-tined prongs are called “sprongs.” I call pitchforks “jabbies.” What do you call them?

In many works of cartoon art, the devil is shown to brandish a pitchfork, which he uses to poke angels in the butt. Tempting as it is to draw wild conclusions about the religious elite propagating images linking Satan to a dirty working-class heritage, it’s more likely that the devil’s pitchfork is actually modeled after the mystical tridents used by certain Greek deities, and by Shiva the Destroyer.

Guess what! Old time populist leaders often used images of, or references to, pitchforks in order to garner support from the common folk. In the late 1800s, South Carolina’s would-be governer campaigned using the delightful nickname “Pitchfork Ben.” My pitchfork nickname would be “Pitchfork Matt.” What would yours be?

Thank you, Jason, for helping us learn through murder.

Join me again soon for another thrilling installment of Jason Vorhees’ Arsenal!

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