Because the Halloween sound effects compilation you just bought doesn’t even have “Evil Laugh #2” on it. I mean, seriously.

The Ramones – “Pet Sematary”

Complete with multi-note solos, comprehensible lyrics and an obvious studio sheen, the theme song to Mary Lambert’s fantastic Stephen King adaptation “Pet Sematary” was an interesting, and ultimately successful, experiment in converting The Ramones glorious ramshackle energy into a marketable pop confection. Interestingly, the chorus’ lyrics were lifted directly from Dee Dee Ramone’s living will.

Alice Cooper – “Shockdance” (From “Shocker”)

Before Mitch Pileggi was all up in Mulder’s grill on “The X-Files,” he played Horace Pinker in Wes Craven’s 1989 film “Shocker,” a movie about an executed serial killer who becomes an electricity demon. “Shockdance,” one of several songs recorded for the film, finds Alice Cooper dueting with Pinker to a guitar-throttling backing track. “He’s malicious and vicious / He’s a killing machine and he never does the dishes.” Damn. Watch out for this guy.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – “Nightmare on my Street”

This is the only song on the list that wasn’t specifically recorded for the film that it honors. Though Will Smith was clearly prepped to deliver a virulently phat take on Wes Craven’s knife-fingered charbroiled pederast, the actual contract went to The Fat Boys, who delivered the laughably disappointing “Get Ready for Freddy.” It’s also the only song on this list in which Will Smith compares Freddy Kruger to a hot dog.

John McDermott – “The Ballad of Harry Warden” (From “My Bloody Valentine”)

This acoustic number from 1981’s Hallmark-holiday coal-mining slasher flick embraces the film’s blue-collar milieu while (sort of) telling the story of serial killer Harry Warden and the town’s Valentine’s Day curse. As fictionalized ballads go, it doesn’t quite stand up to Firefly’s “Hero of Canton” or Lisa Simpson’s power plant song, but at least it wasn’t called “Be Wary of Harry” and recorded by The Fat Boys.

The Five Blobs – “The Blob”

Co-written by a young Burt Bacharach, the jaunty theme to Steve McQueen’s first starring vehicle describes the blob’s hideous alien tendencies with all the fear and respect of a singing telegram. I put this song last because it will be stuck in your head either forever or until you listen to Shockdance again. Choose wisely.

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